Current Events > Getting turned down is depressing as hell.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Can't get rejected if you don't ask
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/63fd3ec8.jpg

Like at a bar? Hard deny

You have to stop thinking of it as being rejected and tell yourself it's just two people's preferences not synching up.

It sucks, but it hurts less than never knowing and never trying.

Umbreon posted...

It sucks, but it hurts less than never knowing and never trying.

True that I guess.

I haven't taken rejection poorly in a long time, but I also haven't asked anyone out in a long time, and for a longer time, assumed that I would be rejected even before hand.

Umbreon posted...

It sucks, but it hurts less than never knowing and never trying.

Bullshit

Irony posted...

Bullshit

Is your gimmick always being wrong?

You can heal from heartache, but to forever hide yourself from love? You're already dead, your physical body just stops moving some time in the future.

(Unless you're Ace I suppose, but even then you probably have the desire for friends)

Umbreon posted...

It sucks, but it hurts less than never knowing and never trying.

True.

Hypnospace posted...

Depends on several factors. Like how you got turned down and how frequent it is

Being told "no, I'm not interested" directly isn't really depressing at all because no actual time was wasted, but it could be depressing if that's all that ever happens to you

Kinda along my lines. Because I hardly ever try. Like I always feel I don't deserve happiness.

want to know what sucks too? having a tinder and not receiving a single "like"

can't even get the opportunity to be rejected.

"I don't deserve happiness" is one of the biggest lies depression will tell you.

BucketCat posted...

want to know what sucks too? having a tinder and not receiving a single "like"

can't even get the opportunity to be rejected.

Eh, Tinder's pretty shit (Well more so). If you get a like these days, it'll probably be a bot or someone from 1k miles away. Tinder keeps telling me someone 'Likes' me yet their profile never shows up. It's Gold bait.

When rejection from every woman is a foregone conclusion, it's not worth asking.

Umbreon posted...

Eh, Tinder's pretty shit (Well more so). If you get a like these days, it'll probably be a bot or someone from 1k miles away. Tinder keeps telling me someone 'Likes' me yet their profile never shows up. It's Gold bait.

idk how else to meet ppl, especially meet ppl who happen to be girl's I'd like to ask out or maybe start dating if things go well.

Anyone else think this was for jobs and not hooking up?

"Sorry sir i don't want to see your penis tonight. Godspeed and godbless"

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I've had zero interest from any women in 32 years. I haven't even had a friend in 15 years. I tried dating apps and got zero likes. It's a foregone conclusion.

Umbreon posted...

You can heal from heartache, but to forever hide yourself from love? You're already dead,

I think this type of narrative is dangerous and also is part confirmation bias. There are people who don't seek "love" and there people who would but they cannot. For example there was a guy who lived 70 years stuck in a giant metal tube. That is an extreme example but there is many people whose lives are dictated around things like this. For example Ironmouse herself is virtually bedridden and sees the world through livestreaming.
To say if they didn't go seek out love, they didn't live, is simply just stupid.
There is so much to life, much more than romance. Infact many who find romance even are found to regret it.
But this hard truth most people shy away in fear of the confirmation bias of normalcy and being ostracized by those who practice it. Watch someone call me an incel for writing this for example.

But many people are essentially brainwashed into this idea and seek it out whether truly genuine or not and find deep regret as they may have been people better without it. Others in the same boat will lie to themselves. And others will find happiness through it. People are all different and see the world in different ways. Not to mention what is love to you or me is not the same to others or perhaps even to either of us.
Anyways it just made me think of that old saying "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
It is purely poetic yet society has ingrained it as a truth that is not actually a truth and people will fight for the idea that it is.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

No it really isn't

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Yes, no, and yes, respectively. I'm perpetually nervous and have nothing to say. I'm incapable of holding a conversation. Even if I got a date, it wouldn't lead anywhere.

MartavisBryant posted...

Yes, no, and yes, respectively. I'm perpetually nervous and have nothing to say. I'm incapable of holding a conversation. Even if I got a date, it wouldn't lead anywhere.

Kinda in the same boat.

^
Do you guys have interests? You just talk about things you like to do and stuff. If you are super nerdy that can turn some girls off but there are girls into it as well and those would better suit you anyways.

BucketCat posted...

want to know what sucks too? having a tinder and not receiving a single "like"

can't even get the opportunity to be rejected.

Right there with you... Recently reinstalled it just to remember why I deleted it before...

foregone conclusion

Foregone.... Destruction

6v6 CTF, INSTAGIB, 24/7 Facing Worlds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEcPakW42JU

BucketCat posted...

idk how else to meet ppl, especially meet ppl who happen to be girl's I'd like to ask out or maybe start dating if things go well.

Ngl I'm not sure either. I've had more luck in person but that was always via circumstance.

WingsOfGood posted...

...

Okay so I see the point you're making and I agree. I was not talking to people who are literally incapable. I would never be so cruel as to tell a legless man "Just get up and walk".

I just feel that there are people who have either given up or is so terrified of rejection that they refuse to make any attempt. Those who are capable but have completely given up in their hearts... that is more tragic than simply a long string of failures.

Though I dont deny that said string of failures can wear even the most optimistic person down eventually.

And yes, there are those who simply have no desire for romance at all. A fine path to walk, even though I cannot walk it.

Getting rejected can be a good thing, they didnt waste your time.

No problem, I was just thinking about the quote and how much people hold it as gospel. I think life finds many ways and some people can do this or that and be truly living.

it sucks. Though I say it feels even worse when you already go out in a couple dates and develop feelings, and it ends abruptly like that. Or longer like a long term relationship. But it's way better to not try at all.

Anyhow, dating is a numbers game. The more dates you go on, the sooner you realize and you will get used to it. It's also best to not get emotionally attached to someone early on. Take it day by day or by the week. If you also go really hard at the beginning, they will have high expectations too. Which I don't recommend. Also don't make big lies about yourself. People find out. That's my two cents.

The Fastest way to get over someone is to date other people. If you have problem getting dates, work on yourself. Your health, career/finance, social skills, self image.
BucketCat posted...

want to know what sucks too? having a tinder and not receiving a single "like"

can't even get the opportunity to be rejected.

BucketCat posted...

want to know what sucks too? having a tinder and not receiving a single "like"

can't even get the opportunity to be rejected.

Unless you are looking for hook ups, I'd stay away from it. Also, the dating apps have rigged it these days to make free versions nearly worthless. Subscriptions are pretty much required, and they do help a lot.

CMB is the app
currently have a subscription with (it's about of a glitch fest), and I'm getting more matches vs without, especially due to boost mode. But there's like 10x less people than tinder.

Frostmourne posted...

It's like your life is over after that instant NO response she gives you. Then the pain eases a little a couple hours later.

Its not a nice feeling but I think youre being very overdramatic.

The alternative is they're a horrible person, see you as a doormat and take advantage of you. So on the other hand "No" is a perfectly fine reaction.

Umbreon posted...

Is your gimmick always being wrong?

You can heal from heartache, but to forever hide yourself from love? You're already dead, your physical body just stops moving some time in the future.

(Unless you're Ace I suppose, but even then you probably have the desire for friends)

You say that like it's a bad thing. Lady Death is pretty hot or she would be if she wasn't cold as the grave.

I don't mind getting rejected. But getting ghosted hurts far more to me.

Frostmourne posted...

It's like your life is over after that instant NO response she gives you. Then the pain eases a little a couple hours later.

Bro you need to get rejected either more or less if it feels that bad. Its a momentary disappointment. Unless its someone youve like.. been into for a while.

wanderingshade posted...

The alternative is they're a horrible person, see you as a doormat and take advantage of you. So on the other hand "No" is a perfectly fine reaction.

Pretty sure that isnt the only alternative.

Arcanine2009 posted...

it sucks. Though I say it feels even worse when you already go out in a couple dates and develop feelings, and it ends abruptly like that. Or longer like a long term relationship. But it's way better to not try at all.

Anyhow, dating is a numbers game. The more dates you go on, the sooner you realize and you will get used to it. It's also best to not get emotionally attached to someone early on. Take it day by day or by the week. If you also go really hard at the beginning, they will have high expectations too. Which I don't recommend. Also don't make big lies about yourself. People find out. That's my two cents.

The Fastest way to get over someone is to date other people. If you have problem getting dates, work on yourself. Your health, career/finance, social skills, self image.

Unless you are looking for hook ups, I'd stay away from it. Also, the dating apps have rigged it these days to make free versions nearly worthless. Subscriptions are pretty much required, and they do help a lot.

CMB is the app
currently have a subscription with (it's about of a glitch fest), and I'm getting more matches vs without, especially due to boost mode. But there's like 10x less people than tinder.

Ive met several long term partners on tinder. I meet a lot of people without subscriptions on pretty much all the apps. Just need to learn how to filter people.

wanderingshade posted...

Foregone.... Destruction

6v6 CTF, INSTAGIB, 24/7 Facing Worlds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEcPakW42JU

God I love that map. I used to absolutely dominate it with a sniper on Dreamcast... mostly because I was one of only 7 people to own the mouse and keyboard and play that game. Those were some good times

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Yes. I met my current partner on Tinder about 6 months ago. Im talking to someone I met on Feeld right now, and someone else I met on Bumble. I dont subscribe to any of them.

Zonbei posted...

Pretty sure that isnt the only alternative.

I mean, another alternative is they're actually the ringmaster in a haunted circus and you spend your entire life as a mute mime because they cursed you into permanent silence.

I'm just, unhelpfully, pointing out someone could say yes and then abuse you.

wanderingshade posted...

I mean, another alternative is they're actually the ringmaster in a haunted circus and you spend your entire life as a mute mime because they cursed you into permanent silence.

I'm just, unhelpfully, pointing out someone could say yes and then abuse you.

Well at least you know its unhelpful.

Irony posted...

Can't get rejected if you don't ask
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/63fd3ec8.jpg

This. But I have never tried with relationships anyway.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

I've tried to befriend almost every coworker that I've had over the past few years. Everyone realizes quickly that I have nothing to offer. Even the few masochists who repeatedly bang their heads against the wall trying to converse with me eventually give up.

Umbreon posted...

Is your gimmick always being wrong?

You can heal from heartache, but to forever hide yourself from love? You're already dead, your physical body just stops moving some time in the future.

(Unless you're Ace I suppose, but even then you probably have the desire for friends)

Dont foist your dependency off on others. Suggesting happiness in life cant be achieved without being in a relationship is nonsense.