Current Events > I don't feel like I can make fat jokes about myself anymore (Fatphobia Thoughts)

(+) Yeah! (+)

I lost a lot of weight in the last 6 months, went from obese to within normal bounds. Made a fat joke with some old friends and I got the distinct feeling that I made the situation slightly awkward since they were all, ya know, fat. Now obviously I could never be judgemental about it but jokes hit different when you are part of an in group making fun of said group in a loving self deprecating way.

But these days I find it harder to make those jokes because the looks and words of my friends clearly make it seem like "fat" doesn't apply to me anymore. Nonetheless, I've thought of myself as fat for so long it's almost impossible for me not to think that about myself.

I think of other women and the social experience we go through where society bombards us with this constant deluge of really skinny and underweight people and treat it as if it were normal and not an abborhation and realized I fell neatly into that groove of "I can never be skinny enough" mentality. Which is nonsense because I'm a lesbian with a preferences for women who don't look conventionally skinny.

Still, it's pretty gross how easily someone can get trapped in these cycles of never feeling good enough that culminates in eating disorders and failing to listen to health care professionals when they tell you, you're good enough. Online spaces can be pretty terrible for this especially as a picture online opens you up to scrutiny and reduces your value to your fat distribution regardless of what the numbers says, and the doctor says or how much exercise you do..

When I lost a bunch of weight, I can tell people definitely respected me more and I got way more compliments >_> Society is just like that I guess. I dont want to go back to being fat again and lose that. Everyone should lose weight and strive for that. Try to encourage your fat friends to join you and lose weight.

I dunno, I've never been hugely overweight but some of my family is so it bothers me when people mock fat people.

That said while everyone should be comfortable with their bodies I think we all should strive to be healthy and generally that means maintaining a healthy weight.

NeonBoobs posted...

When I lost a bunch of weight, I can tell people definitely respected me more and I got way more compliments >_> Society is just like that I guess. I dont want to go back to being fat again and lose that. Everyone should lose weight and strive for that. Try to encourage your fat friends to join you and lose weight.

That feels like an incredibly toxic level of group think. "Lose weight, people will compliment you more" strikes me as the sort of thing I was talking about in regards to eating disorders and how our faulty conceptions can't help but make us care more about what we look like then our health.

Yeah, dont let your friends drag you down to their level. Try to raise them up to your level

I would argue that any sort of negative self talk or "jokes" about yourself isn't healthy anyway.

itcheyness posted...

I would argue that any sort of negative self talk or "jokes" about yourself isn't healthy anyway.

Depends.

Sometimes it is healthy. A sign of self-confidence, and an ability to acknowledge your own flaws without letting it damage your self-esteem. Obviously, there are contexts where it isn't (pre-empting mockery, trying to 'fit in' by offering yourself up as the butt of a joke).

All humour is a matter of reading social cues. If you sense your audience is uncomfortable, and that's not your intention, then you need to adjust.

NeonBoobs posted...

When I lost a bunch of weight, I can tell people definitely respected me more and I got way more compliments >_> Society is just like that I guess. I dont want to go back to being fat again and lose that. Everyone should lose weight and strive for that. Try to encourage your fat friends to join you and lose weight.

I wish I could do like good, hard workouts, but due to past injuries, theres only so much I can do (and I literally cant afford to hurt myself lol). I stay as active as possible (take a daily walk, do some yoga and other exercises) but it doesnt do much.

I also wish I could starve myself and function properly. I dont mean like actually starve myself of course, but it would be nice to be able to only eat a little and not feel starved. I dont sleep well if Im really hungry which in turn makes me crabby and unpleasant lol.

Rock and a hard place

Im on the opposite end here and dont laugh at those kind of jokes, and I love to laugh at comedy and see humor in things.

Growing up I was a little envious of others who were not so skinny like I am. Never was one to get caught up in social trends.

rexcrk posted...

I wish I could do like good, hard workouts, but due to past injuries, theres only so much I can do (and I literally cant afford to hurt myself lol). I stay as active as possible (take a daily walk, do some yoga and other exercises) but it doesnt do much.

Honestly, I barely worked out. I just kept it under 2000 calories within a 6 hour window and I lost like 1-2 lbs a week. It probably helps to work out but not as much as you think. Once you force yourself to do the diet for a week, you just get used to it. I dont feel hungry until lunch after I force myself to do it. Like Shia LeBouf used to say: Just do it

As with any comedy, you just need to know your audience.

As an adult, My weight has ranged from as high as 305 pounds to as low as 185 pounds. I'm currently around 215ish and would consider myself on the border of being "in shape".

My best friend is, and has always been, on the heavier side, and we've always made fat jokes about each other. Sometimes as a coping mechanism, but mostly as a "if there's a joke to make, we're going to make it".

Even today, he just calls me a "reformed fat guy".