Current Events > Women complain often about weak opening messages on dating apps

(+) Yeah! (+)

Whenever women message me first its always a hi :) or hey hows it going

seems like minimal effort all around

Fine.

^look now the conversations dead

Men and women are objectively on different playing fields when it comes to dating apps. Men have to try harder if they want to get a womans attention, because she probably has like 3 times as many matches to sift through.

That's your in. Be the message that stands out from the crowd. But if she doesn't hold her side of the conversation, then you have just as much right to bail as she does

Stop worrying about the women who complain, theyre always gonna complain theyre complainers

There are other women

VampireCoyote posted...

Stop worrying about the women who complain, theyre always gonna complain theyre complainers

There are other women

Yeah but how do you know who you're dealing with?

Personally I question if coming into a conversation by immediately drawing attention to things you observed on someone's profile might be too aggressive and potentially come off as a scammer.

dating apps aren't like real life so it's useless to complain about it from either side.

berlyman101 posted...

dating apps aren't like real life so it's useless to complain about it from either side.

Dating apps are the most common way to get a date these days though, if you're under 40

Solid_Sonic posted...

Yeah but how do you know who you're dealing with?

You dont which is why you just be yourself in a fun and bold way

Personally I question if coming into a conversation by immediately drawing attention to things you observed on someone's profile might be too aggressive and potentially come off as a scammer.

Dont worry about how you will be perceived, youll paint yourself into a corner and feel like you cant say anything. Just say what you actually want to say

I would almost always get a response on dating apps since I'd usually say something specifically about their profile or them in general instead of a generic response or pickup line. I did notice though that at least 90% of the girls who messaged me first on Bumble would just say something like hi.

It's a boring opener for men or women.

I4NRulez posted...

Whenever women message me first its always a hi :) or hey hows it going

seems like minimal effort all around

Do you find those openings off-putting and weak, or are they fine to you?

If they are, say so. If not, you don't have an issue.

I feel like you dodged a bullet if a girl will dump you because your greeting message wasn't unique enough

That's a red flag

ssb_yunglink2 posted...

3 times as many matches to sift through.

try 30 times
opening my inbox to a few dozen "hi"s aint really a seller unless youre stupid handsome
id rather talk to the dude that clearly read my profile and wants to talk about something we could maybe bond over tbqh

sucks that dudes dont get many replies but unfortunately theyre the de facto beggars in the "beggars cant be choosers" idiom and no amount of whinging is going to change it

Guns_of_Verdun posted...

I feel like you dodged a bullet if a girl will dump you because your greeting message wasn't unique enough

That's a red flag

Not really. It's more that a girl typically gets 20 "hi" messages a day. She doesn't have the time or energy to start up a conversation with every single person. So it makes more sense to go with something that stands out more.

Will_VIII posted...

Dating apps are the most common way to get a date these days though, if you're under 40

Yeah and I think that's fucked

Solid_Sonic posted...

Yeah but how do you know who you're dealing with?

Personally I question if coming into a conversation by immediately drawing attention to things you observed on someone's profile might be too aggressive and potentially come off as a scammer.

Nah, trust me it works. Even if it's something basic. You relate it to yourself while also asking her a follow-up question about it.

"I saw that you like hiking. I recently got into it myself and went hiking at 'X' last weekend. Do you have any good trails you'd recommend?"

Something like that would get the conversation going and doesn't just end with a yes or no question. Obviously don't lie when you're messaging her and make it about something you're actually interested in. All of the women that agreed to go out in a date were women that I bonded with about common interests first.

berlyman101 posted...

Yeah and I think that's fucked

It's safer

ai123 posted...

Do you find those openings off-putting and weak, or are they fine to you?

If they are, say so. If not, you don't have an issue.

I just look at their profiles to see how descriptive it is. If its minimal effort all around I just ignore them

I've never had a good opening message from a woman on bumble

Mfw I don't even get a hi

BloodMoon7 posted...

Mfw I don't even get a hi

hi

ArsGoetia posted...

hi

*sees profile*

So you like burying people in the woods eh? I too like to live dangerously.

"Hey"
Vs
"HI there you're really cute id like to take you out on a date I see you like viddya I like viddya too what kind of games do you like me I like action games how about movies for when we go out please respond.

low rizz topic

I4NRulez posted...

Whenever women message me first its always a hi :) or hey hows it going

seems like minimal effort all around

Are they the same women, who say in their profiles, that won't respond to the exact same thing?

Jupiter posted...

Not really. It's more that a girl typically gets 20 "hi" messages a day. She doesn't have the time or energy to start up a conversation with every single person. So it makes more sense to go with something that stands out more.

That said, woman are no better with the bad openers.

Bumble is a great example where woman are suppose to initiate the conversation first.

I can't tell you how many, "Hi", "Hey", "How are you" messages I've gotten.

My point is, it's not just men giving low effort openers.

This complaint thankfully died off a bit once bumble got popular and women realised how difficult it is to entertain a stranger with one message

When tinder was everybody's primary app, the complaints were very very annoying as a guy

But I honestly don't see it much anymore in online spaces.

What is your opening line CE? Mine is:

"Hold up I am on the last level of Donkey Kong Country. I am about to beat it."

Dakimakura posted...

What is your opening line CE? Mine is:

"Hold up I am on the last level of Donkey Kong Country. I am about to beat it."

"I can clean the bottom of any size snack cup with my tongue."

Dakimakura posted...

What is your opening line CE? Mine is:

"Hold up I am on the last level of Donkey Kong Country. I am about to beat it."

"If cats could talk, do you think their testimony would hold up in court?"

Dakimakura posted...

What is your opening line CE? Mine is:

"Hold up I am on the last level of Donkey Kong Country. I am about to beat it."

I didn't really have an opener for every message. If there's something pop culture related, I make a joke about that.

Dakimakura posted...

What is your opening line CE? Mine is:

"Hold up I am on the last level of Donkey Kong Country. I am about to beat it."

Well I'm not single anymore, but I tried to relate my first message to something in their profile or photos. If their profile was very bare bones and gave me nothing to work with, I'd go with some variation of "Hi [her name], I'm [my name]. What do you like to do in your free time? I like to [lists some of my hobbies]."

I really tried not to do that too much though. It felt really impersonal. The women that stuck around the longest, were the ones that had something in their profile that I could talk about in my first message.

My opening message to my now girlfriend was pointing out that on our profiles, we had both taken a picture at the same aquarium, doing the same thing. I asked her when did she go and what was her favorite thing there. The conversation just took off from there.