Current Events > Procrastination is detrimental to mental health

(+) Yeah! (+)

@TeamSilent4Life It's a shame that if you have any proportions that veer from the average you'll be judged even if it's only ona sub-con-shus level.

Because if people stopped holdin these differences to what is the 'norm' against others, the world would a helluva lot better a place to traverse.

If you're nose is huge it will be one of the first things they notice about you as they set eyes on your face. If you're especially short in stature, people will clock you as a short person.

This is all before even a single word has been said. So how will that ever be fair? In what world does it make sense to prejudge fellow people based on such superficial criteria?

Add to that your shyness around people you don't know and others will literally write you off. Just walking around a school certainly you can feel these concepts at play. The staff will create groups based on superficial critireria such as your current lifestyle; if you don't go on holiday to Bora Bora and post the proof on Facebook then you'll be lucky to even get glance of acknowledgement even.

@ShiftBlood have you ever experienced prejudice? 1 time I was asked if I sell bombs after disclosing my name at a pub then was asked if I'm circumcised

TeamSilent4Life posted...

@ShiftBlood have you ever experienced prejudice? 1 time I was asked if I sell bombs after disclosing my name at a pub then was asked if I'm circumcised

Not on the same scale as you TC cos I think the thing is, you've had to deal with the judgment based on so many bloody factors; your height, weight, nose, shyness and ethnicity. This has been goin on for decades on multiple fronts yet who is doin anythin about it?....

And the comments you've had from others proves that. And that's why you have a scenario where you're wearing thermal sweaters or platforms. Cos they have made you feel that way. This kind of behaviour causes genuine worryin and yet when it comes to height or nose shape it isn't seen as anywhere near as bad.

If you look like a tall Tom Cruise in his prime you'll be venerated by everyone and they'll go out of their way to get to know you, but the further away from those ideals you are the worst it gets tbh.

ShiftBlood posted...

Not on the same scale as you TC cos I think the thing is, you've had to deal with the judgment based on so many bloody factors; your height, weight, nose, shyness and ethnicity. This has been goin on for decades on multiple fronts yet who is doin anythin about it?....

And the comments you've had from others proves that. And that's why you have a scenario where you're wearing thermal sweaters or platforms. Cos they have made you feel that way. This kind of behaviour causes genuine worryin and yet when it comes to height or nose shape it isn't seen as anywhere near as bad.

If you look like a tall Tom Cruise in his prime you'll be venerated by everyone and they'll go out of their way to get to know you, but the further away from those ideals you are the worst it gets tbh.

Height is the most discriminated against for sure, everyone and their mother discriminates against height. Your perceived less than as a short man which alludes to toxic masculinity. There's a reason why suicide rates are higher in short men and mental health in general.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


It's that dilemma of uncertainty of what we are supposed to do with our time exactly. There's a line from the iconic song 'Everybody wants to rule the world' - "I can't stand this indecision, married with a lack of vision". That resonates with me a lot, that constant conflict and turmoil of how to make the most of my life. Most days I'm so fatigued to do anything at all and when I do have energy it's spent being unproductive. This constant turmoil is detrimental to personal growth and development which invariably affects our mental health.

Tyranthraxus posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/3ba7ef4b.jpg

I felt this.

@ShiftBlood Today I felt better, you know why? because I was on duty with staff that actually gave a fuck and acknowledged me. This comin from a 17 year old girl which says everythin really, that a 17 year old shows more compassion and understanding than those older. She's a bit too loud tbh but at least she's friendlier than the others. I even confided to her about the police station ordeal the other week, I told her I don't give a fuck me unlike most people. She even said she prefers it when I'm on duty.

Some kids even tell me that I'm their favourite teacher although I'm a support assistant. I do a bit of everythin really, I work predominantly with the earlier year group and also do playground duties and the after school provision.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Is that medicine?. I had an appointment with a sexy iranian doctor, she increased my Mirtazipine from 30 to 45mg. She gave me advice and was very understanding about the abuse I've been dealin with. I wish she was my permanent doctor instead of the other 1 but she's an out of hours doctor. Honestly my dream wife, beautiful and understanding middle eastern lady.

TeamSilent4Life posted...

@ShiftBlood Today I felt better, you know why? because I was on duty with staff that actually gave a fuck and acknowledged me. This comin from a 17 year old girl which says everythin really, that a 17 year old shows more compassion and understanding than those older. She's a bit too loud tbh but at least she's friendlier than the others. I even confided to her about the police station ordeal the other week, I told her I don't give a fuck me unlike most people. She even said she prefers it when I'm on duty.

Some kids even tell me that I'm their favourite teacher although I'm a support assistant. I do a bit of everythin really, I work predominantly with the earlier year group and also do playground duties and the after school provision.

yeah it's a beautiful thing when people come into a job and show up the regulars for how bad its become despite the age.

That's why I always say TC that there's always hope with other people. You can be surprised by them when u least expect it. Whether it be the Head Mistress doin more than she had to or a teenager showing acknowledgement.

Is that medicine?. I had an appointment with a sexy iranian doctor, she increased my Mirtazipine from 30 to 45mg. She gave me advice and was very understanding about the abuse I've been dealin with. I wish she was my permanent doctor instead of the other 1 but she's an out of hours doctor. Honestly my dream wife, beautiful and understanding middle eastern lady.

ye i think that's an American thing somethin about drugs. Be wary of that s*** tbh just take advice drom your own GP and never online. Hot doctors that have that carin side to them that make u feel comfortable in their presence; that's all these women out there tbh just hope you can get regular appointments tho that seems unlikely again you've always got that hope, TC.

One moment you're walkin into the doctors in a worried state and the next it's almost all dissappated by a caring and hot Iranian woman. Much to inspire hope goin forward into 2024.

I was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression in the spring of 2000 and have suffered from severe panic attacks and severe anxiety ever since. The only times I have panic attacks is when I go out in public and are around a lot of people. So I quit going out in public and haven't been around anyone for roughly 24 years now. I've not had a job since November 1999 and I live with my parents. I am the guy that just plays video games all day long. I did start exercising everyday starting Jan 1st 2019 and I still keep that up to this day.

Only recently just started going to the dentist again and my younger brother had a wedding that I attended that had 130+ people. But after I got home from the wedding, I had a major anxiety attack that pretty much disabled me for 48+ hours. I didn't eat or drink and all during that time and all I did was cry that entire time locked in my room wishing for the worst.

I have procrastinated my entire adult life and looking back I feel like I've really screwed my life up. But the sad part is, I'm not going to change and my parents aren't going to push me. Even if they did push me, I would just push back and win because they care and worry about me too much and don't want to hurt me and are scared I will get hurt.

I really enjoy doing nothing but playing video games and watching tv all day long and not having to worry about adult things like working and money and paying bills and socializing and maintaining friendships/relationships. I literally feel like I still have the mindset of a teenager. I've never tried alcohol and I don't drink coffee because I see those as "adult things". A part of me wishes I had a romantic relationship but I think I am better off just left alone. I don't think anyone would want a 42 year old, jobless, vehicle-less, extremely anti-social, introvert, lives with parents man-child for a boyfriend anyway. I had several (4) opportunities for a girlfriend back in my school days but never took the chance partly because of anxiety and part because I was an immature kid. Technically I still am immature.

I was on anti-depressants and was seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist back in 2000 but the drugs only made me feel worse and the psychologist/psychiatrist just told me to stop it for everything I talked about. "I don't like driving." "Stop it and go force yourself to drive." "I don't like socializing." "Stop it and go force yourself to socialize." I quit both and just decided to do my own thing. 24 years later and I'm still stuck right where I was back then and I'm going to continue to be stuck for the next 24 years.

Also, I've been talking about this stuff for the last 20 years on gamefaqs and other forums online and nobody has been able to convince me to change. I know living this way is wrong but I just don't want to change. Trying to start my life right now and getting a minimum wage job and living on my own sounds way worse than what I have now. I'm extremely thankful my parents let me live this way.

Moral of the story, don't end up like me?

@TuxedoCyan Hi, firstly I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and that your life experiences are completely valid. I resonate so much with your story because it's almost a mirror image of myself. I've been a recluse all my life, always struggled to fit in anywhere. I suffer with the same mental health as you do: generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety, clinical depression, add domestic abuse to that, it's robbed me of a life. I've never had a proper girlfriend either, flings at best. I also live with my mum who has gaslighted me repeatedly, I've lived in fear with a brother who has threatened me. Recently I had to report him at the police station but his presence remains as he still visits.

I'm only a few years younger than you, my life has been fucked since the day I was born. My saving grace is my job at as a teaching assistant which brings its own hell in regards to dealing with ignorant staff. Guilt and shame are often tied to mental health and regret is a big part of that guilt.

People have told me to change my whole life, even therapists don't know what to do with me. Your life is almost parallel to mine, at least we know that there's others out there who suffer like ourselves, our suffering is all relative, it's just a shame that we're not validated by this judgemental society. I believe that clarity in life leads to change but finding clarity can be overwhelming amongst the thick dense fog if that makes sense. There's always hope for some change at least, change that is relative to our circumstances.

You must force yourself to get off your ass and do whatever that needs to be done. It's the only way.

faizan_faizan posted...

You must force yourself to get off your ass and do whatever that needs to be done. It's the only way.

There's a phrase in life 'He who moans about his troubles, is a prisoner of his troubles'

This is the definition of my entire existence right here. Anxiety sufferers are prisoners of a worry some mindset, it's natural to worry but for anxiety sufferers it's their complete state of mind.

I agree with what your sayin, I just wish I wasn't so consumed by worry and fear which has robbed me of a life. Then there's the depression on top of that which makes everythin seem meaningless.

I'll be seeing a cognitive behavior therapist soon, I need to somehow change the course of direction of my fucked up life. They typically suggest having goals in life, sometimes I'll write a few basic tasks on my phone yet I still procrastinate regardless. I leave everything to the last minute, most of my days are spent watching shit tv, wasting away. If I had friends and had a social life I'd feel a lot more content with my day, but without that everythin just feels meaningless.

@Asherlee10 ye the workplace especially is a very demanding environment, everyone paints this rosy picture when you know deep down they despise their fuckin job. Work really highlights a person's character in response to a stressful situation. Often their ignorance and hostility reveals its ugly head.

For me, I wish I had more responsibility at home. I do nothin but sit in my room on my laptop and playstation doing nothing productive with my time outside of the school I work. I think I may be neurodivergent tbh as I process information differently.

For instance, a higher up gave me a simple task of photocopying a work booklet. She showed me repeatedly how to photocopy each side of the page. Then I somehow proceed to photocopy the booklet back to front leading to shame and embarrassment of my mistake. Anything practical I often need repeating to me.

I have an issue with executive functioning, how to spend my days productively. I need structure which work provides, without structure I'm completely lost in life. I get so depressed at home as I have no purpose to my lack of routine. I don't know how to change this mindset, I'll be having cognitive therapy soon but I just know I won't take their advice as my brain is so hardwired into my destructive reclusive lifestyle. I'm very articulate which makes me more regretful of how I've fucked up my life, guilt is associated with mental health and regret is tied to guilt in some way. I need radical change for the sake of my mental health, I just wish it was straight forward.

TeamSilent4Life posted...

There's a phrase in life 'He who moans about his troubles, is a prisoner of his troubles'

This is the definition of my entire existence right here. Anxiety sufferers are prisoners of a worry some mindset, it's natural to worry but for anxiety sufferers it's their complete state of mind.

I agree with what your sayin, I just wish I wasn't so consumed by worry and fear which has robbed me of a life. Then there's the depression on top of that which makes everythin seem meaningless.

I'll be seeing a cognitive behavior therapist soon, I need to somehow change the course of direction of my fucked up life. They typically suggest having goals in life, sometimes I'll write a few basic tasks on my phone yet I still procrastinate regardless. I leave everything to the last minute, most of my days are spent watching shit tv, wasting away. If I had friends and had a social life I'd feel a lot more content with my day, but without that everythin just feels meaningless.

I used to be in a similar place a couple years ago, unfortunately (or fortunately) the reality of life hit me flat in the face like a ton of bricks and almost caused me to become homeless among other things. The gravity of that situation completely changed my philosophy on life. Turned me into a different person entirely.

It requires an incredible amount of willpower to overcome anxiety. I hope you find the strength to continue the fight in this world.

faizan_faizan posted...

I used to be in a similar place a couple years ago, unfortunately (or fortunately) the reality of life hit me flat in the face like a ton of bricks and almost caused me to become homeless among other things. The gravity of that situation completely changed my philosophy on life. Turned me into a different person entirely.

It requires an incredible amount of willpower to overcome anxiety. I hope you find the strength to continue the fight in this world.

thanks, I think anxiety sufferers are their own worst enemy, it's ironic how overthinking leads to inaction, you'd think it'd be the opposite. Sorry to hear that you became homeless, that must be really scary and traumatic. I have trauma from domestic abuse that I've been dealing with, living with a threatening individual. This led me to finally reporting him to the police station the other week which was 1 of the most stressful experiences of my life but I somehow got through it.

A lot of us are stronger than we're led to believe, any sufferer of mental health is stronger than we're perceived to be. To keep fighting despite that mental health suffering each day is more strength than we realise. I have to put on a brave face each weekday as I work with kids in a primary school. I'm treated like I'm nothing by most staff who are very rude and ignorant towards me despite proving to be an effective support assistant. Since 2016 I've effectively safeguarded and supported the learning of children in schools and other areas of youth related provision. It's just a shame I hate myself regardless but that's what mental health does to a person, it's insidious and only see's the bleak picture of reality.

TuxedoCyan posted...

I did start exercising everyday starting Jan 1st 2019 and I still keep that up to this day.

wedding that I attended that had 130+ people.

You've been consistent with excercise for four long years which will be an inspiration to many here. Consistency is key as there won't be a quick fix for such profound mental chains so I think it's impressive that you've shown that discipline to keep going. You could have quit but you didn't.

And attending that wedding despite all of the angst at play shows the power you have to choose where you go and what you do.

Trying to start my life right now and getting a minimum wage job and living on my own sounds way worse than what I have now.

It's the old adage tbh that u just don't know until you get there. I've had jobs in the past that have ended up being far more expansive than what they initially appeared due to the people there. And then that circle you get ingratiated in can open up doors and then it's like a domino affect.

I think just keep open to these things as they can be paths to brighter days despite the intial view of darkness when viewed from afar. Quite often - but not always - it's an illusion.

ShiftBlood posted...

It's the old adage tbh that u just don't know until you get there. I've had jobs in the past that have ended up being far more expansive than what they initially appeared due to the people there. And then that circle you get ingratiated in can open up doors and then it's like a domino affect.

I think just keep open to these things as they can be paths to brighter days despite the intial view of darkness when viewed from afar. Quite often - but not always - it's an illusion.

Well the main problem is, I don't like socializing with people. I actually really hate it. So that pretty much eliminates all easily obtainable minimum wage jobs with no job experience. Plus I don't drive and don't want to make my parents drive me to and from work. I don't know how to ride a bike or anything like that either.

The main thing is I just don't want to have to talk to anyone, ever. I don't like talking in person. I don't like talking over the phone. I can barely stomach live chat with just text. Gamefaqs is quite literally the only place I feel comfortable socializing, and I barely even do that. I average a few posts a month and most of the time it's just posting something and then never returning to the topic again.

There is no reason to even think about it. I'm just going to keep living my life the way it is now. The exercise has really improved my health/stamina but It's not making me want to get out there and get my life back. I'm just stuck forever. I would say SSI disability is the only answer but I honestly don't think I would pass the application. I only have severe anxiety and a strong hate of socializing. That is not really a disability. There are people out there that are actually disabled that need those SSI checks way more than I do. I don't need it.