Current Events > Not so super powers

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My voice can travel at the speed of sound.
I can see stars as they were millions of years ago.

What powers do you have?

Everything I eat turns into shit and it drops out of my ass once or twice a day.

I have relatively super strength.

That baby's weak as shit, so example, I'm way stronger than that baby.

I am speeding through the galaxy at 492,126 mph.

I am the world's shortest giant.

SquantoZ posted...

Everything I eat turns into shit and it drops out of my ass once or twice a day.

Well, not everything.

I have tooth-sharp teeth that are powerful enough to bite Oreos in half.

I can extend my legs to double their sitting height up to 100 times a day.

Multiple times a day, I produce a potent acidic spray that can be projected in an arc up to six feet. The government forces me to wear protective garments below my waist to inhibit my powers.

I time travel to the future at the speed of 60 seconds per minute.

I can eat anything once. ONCE.

I can only be killed by one substance.

Mostly because I can only be killed once.

I can see 7 seconds into the past.

DementedDurian posted...

I can eat anything once. ONCE.

You know...if you really tried, I bet you could do it twice.

By being exposed to the sun, I can darken my skin, or make it bright red. Like a chameleon or someshit.

I can bend water around my shape

I can gather information about my surroundings remotely by measuring vibrations in the air and visualize distant objects if light is shining on it.

I am composed primarily of material made from the explosion of massive stars.

I can sense heat sources, my skin blisters in their presence, also there may be screaming.

I am so large I can crush ants with my fingers.

I can move and manipulate objects using the power of my mind and body.

I can see why kids love the taste of Cknamon Toast Crunch

I can regenerate flesh from cuts and fight off millions of dangerous disease carrying micro-organisms with only my own blood cells.

I can cook 3 minute ramen in 2 minutes and 40 seconds.

I'm pretty amazing at always being in the way.

I can post this epic message.

I can alter the molecular structure of the very air around me just by pulling it into my chest.

I attract smokes on the campfire.

I can melt entire blocks of ice as large as 30 square millimeters in my bare hands.

i can see in 144p resolution

I can travel to the past but everyone else stays in the present.

I have the power to read my own mind.

I am completely invisible to the un-naked eye.

I'm not posting for me, but I can't wait for The Detachable Kid to post. That's gonna be sweet.

I produce methane in my body and release it at inopportune times

DementedDurian posted...

I can eat anything once. ONCE.

You just aren't brave enough to re-eat it.

Anyways my stomach produces an acid so powerful and plentiful that it burns my throat and can dissolve flesh in mere hours.

I can travel sixty seconds into the future, but it takes me a minute.

I can see 30 frames per second with my eyes

I can bend my joints far more in excess of 90.

SquantoZ posted...

Everything I eat turns into shit and it drops out of my ass once or twice a day.

Look at this monster shitting twice a day.

Try like the rest of us and shit either 4 times a day or once every 4 days, coward.

My contribution: I can usually recognize songs within the first second or two. I think I can also see the future and no, I'm not kidding. I dream of shit sometimes, usually innocuous stuff like watching a video or talking about something, and then months or years later it plays out the same way.

It's not useful, and I only ever notice it when it happens, and it's usually only a span of like 3-8 seconds, but it is pretty neat to have a dream as specific as "Doing this particular work while watching a VGC video about Ogerpon" and it actually happening.

I can command superheroes and demigods to obey my every whim with naught but my thumbs and index fingers.