Current Events > There's a button you can press that will tell you if your partner has cheated

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HairyQueen
04/19/23 8:57:51 PM
#1:


Do you press the button?


A wizard appears before you and presents to you a button you can press that will tell you if your partner of 20 years has cheated on you.

They explain that there is an unknown probability that your partner has cheated on you any number of times in the past. They assure you that if your partner did cheat, they have come to sincerely regret it. They also will never cheat on you again, regardless of whether or not the button is pressed.

You ask why the wizard chose you of all people to give this opportunity, and they explain that everyone gets a visit from the wizard after their 20-year anniversary.

If you choose to press the button, you'll learn if your partner cheated on you, not how often, not who with, only that it happened at least once.
You cannot discuss the wizard or the button with your partner or anyone else. The magic prevents you from communicating this information.

If you choose to not press the button, the wizard assures you that your partner will be faithful from now on with certainty, and if there was any cheating in the past, it truly crushed them with guilt. The wizard will never contact you again.

Do you press the button?

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alfred_ashford
04/19/23 9:05:26 PM
#2:


Yes I would and then I would suggest an open relationship lol

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averagejoel
04/19/23 9:14:18 PM
#3:


I trust her enough that I know without the button, and I hope that anyone who says differently gets out of that relationship ASAP

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HairyQueen
04/20/23 4:04:29 PM
#4:


alfred_ashford posted...
Yes I would and then I would suggest an open relationship lol
Interesting. You could do that anyway though

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sauceje
04/20/23 4:07:14 PM
#5:


I'll take the money

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NoxObscuras
04/20/23 4:07:32 PM
#6:


I have confidence that my current girlfriend wouldn't cheat. But I'd still press the button. I have zero tolerance for cheating. That "they truly regret it" part means fuck all to me. Should have thought about that before cheating.

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garan
04/20/23 4:27:17 PM
#7:


I press the button. If yes, then the relationship is over. Cheaters are the scum of the earth.
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bigblu89
04/20/23 4:37:03 PM
#8:


What if you push the button, the wizard says that they did cheat, and you break up.

Only to find out the wizard is one of those irrational weirdos that thinks if someone thinks a celebrity is good looking, they consider that cheating.

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HairyQueen
04/20/23 4:43:45 PM
#9:


bigblu89 posted...
What if you push the button, the wizard says that they did cheat, and you break up.

Only to find out the wizard is one of those irrational weirdos that thinks if someone thinks a celebrity is good looking, they consider that cheating.
Do you think your partner would ever need to feel "sincere regret" about checking out a celebrity? And that they would've been so upset about their behavior that they'll never find a celebrity attractive again?

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KeeperOfShadows
04/20/23 4:49:57 PM
#10:


I'd press the button no matter how much faith I had in my partner. No real reason not to.

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HudGard
04/20/23 4:52:02 PM
#11:


Ignorance is bliss.

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divot1338
04/20/23 5:02:36 PM
#12:


I shoot the wizard.

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bigblu89
04/20/23 5:16:42 PM
#13:


HairyQueen posted...
Do you think your partner would ever need to feel "sincere regret" about checking out a celebrity? And that they would've been so upset about their behavior that they'll never find a celebrity attractive again?

My partner? No.

But everyone has a different opinion of what's considered "cheating". Some think it's sex. Some say kissing. Some say engaging in flirtatious conversation. Some say just mere sexual thoughts of another person is cheating.

So a blanket statement by the wizard of "Yes, your partner cheated on you" can mean a myriad of things.

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Trumble
04/20/23 5:20:38 PM
#14:


Yeah, I'd need clarification on what the wizard considers "cheating", and I'd decide from there.

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Anony1125
04/20/23 5:21:32 PM
#15:


HairyQueen posted...
You ask why the wizard chose you of all people to give this opportunity, and they explain that everyone gets a visit from the wizard after their 20-year anniversary.

HairyQueen posted...
You cannot discuss the wizard or the button with your partner or anyone else. The magic prevents you from communicating this information.

So my partner has been given the choice as well, or will be soon. And they'll know that I've been given the choice too and will probably wonder whether I've taken it or not, though they won't be able to ask and I won't be able to tell. If they have cheated the guilt will come out anyway since there's a pretty good chance I now know. I guess I might as well press the button and confirm one way or the other. If she has, it will spare the awkwardness. If she hasn't, it will simply reaffirm my faith in her. Imagine you have a chance to prove you've been faithful and your partner doesn't let you because they're afraid to find out.

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Tyranthraxus
04/20/23 5:24:33 PM
#16:


HairyQueen posted...
If you choose to not press the button, the wizard assures you that your partner will be faithful from now on with certainty, and if there was any cheating in the past, it truly crushed them with guilt. The wizard will never contact you again.

This makes the no option much more appealing tbh.

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#17
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Pogo_Marimo
04/20/23 5:33:40 PM
#18:


alfred_ashford posted...
Yes I would and then I would suggest an open relationship lol
This guy gets it.

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RetsuZaiZen
04/20/23 5:38:52 PM
#19:


20 years in? Man at that point it's full sunken cost at best.

Basically, if she cheated once in year 3 I'm not throwing everything else away.

That said I'm not pressing the button.

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#20
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ekie
04/20/23 5:44:39 PM
#21:


HairyQueen posted...
Interesting. You could do that anyway though

No he can't. Don't give advise that could end relationships

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