Current Events > Is this sexual harassment?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I was walking through our building at work and one of my coworkers (woman) stops me and says she saw me near one of the restaurants in town that she was eating in at the time. I told her I was indeed there at that shopping center. I was going to the taco shop around the corner, but didn't say it. She said, "yeah *my name* was going to the massage parlor for his happy ending" and then started laughing. I think a whole bunch of other coworkers heard it too. I had no idea how to react and just said something like "ooook... going back to my desk now". I didn't even know there was a massage place in that shopping center but there is. No idea if it's a "massage" place or not but I doubt it as it looks pretty professional.

I'm not going to report her or anything but just curious if you guys think that I can officially claim to have been sexually harassed at work.

It's sexual comment that isn't 'normal' workplace conversation

It's based on how you feel.
Do you feel like the comment wasn't appreciated?

It definitely can be but thats up to you really

catfan2008 posted...

It's sexual comment that isn't 'normal' workplace conversation

It's based on how you feel.
Do you feel like the comment wasn't appreciated?

I absolutely did not appreciate it lol. It was just an awkward moment. Normally I have a good relationship with her though and we joke around a lot. The intern we have working with us actually turned red and covered her face when the comment was made.

Like I said I'm not reporting it, just curious what you guys thought.

Yes that qualifies as sexual harassment

Itachi157 posted...

I absolutely did not appreciate it lol. It was just an awkward moment. Normally I have a good relationship with her though and we joke around a lot. The intern we have working with us actually turned red and covered her face when the comment was made.

Like I said I'm not reporting it, just curious what you guys thought.

Sexual harrasment is solely defined by the person who it's aimed at and to a lesser extend at those around you
The intern could report it for example as she felt offended by it
But it comes down to how you specifically feel. If you didn't appreciate it, despite the friendly workng relationship you have and would not be accepting a comment like that being made again then it's not wanted
It's sexual.
I would say it's sexual harrassment

That's sexual harassment for sure.

You could try to be offended and say something, but nobody is going to seriously believe it. They'll be like "Really, you were offended by her?" At most they may tell her to watch it around you in the future.

Itachi157 posted...

I have a good relationship with her though and we joke around a lot.

Then it seems like she just misunderstood your sense of humor, and said something she thought you'd both find funny. Nothing deeper than that.

Technically, it would fall under sexual harassment, but it doesn't seem she was actually trying to harass you.
It's definitely not "work appropriate," but also not something I'd feel is worthy of being reported either.

It also depends on whether or not you think its worth reporting. This can affect your relationship with your coworker and if you feel bother enough by the comment then report it

Yeah like I said I wasn't seriously considering reporting it. Ever since it happened though I was kind of mulling over whether it would constitute sexual harassment. That's a good point about how it makes the subject feel though.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Literally one of the worst possible ways to define sexism

Itachi157 posted...

Yeah like I said I wasn't seriously considering reporting it. Ever since it happened though I was kind of mulling over whether it would constitute sexual harassment. That's a good point about how it makes the subject feel though.

If you feel like if she said it again, after you said not ot, that it would not be okay then it's harrssment

It leans toward sexual harassment.

Yes.

If someone says anything you don't like, it counts as harassment.

I'm not even joking or exaggerating, that's how it is.

This topic made me realize my team sexually harasses each other at work all day every day. >_>

I'm glad my co-workers and I feel comfortable joking around with each other. There are definitely comments that cross the line that people shouldn't say, but someone losing their job over a comment like the one in the OP would be fucking absurd.

The_Top_Crusader posted...

This topic made me realize my team sexually harasses each other at work all day every day. >_>

repeated
unwanted
actions

It's borderline. I don't think it's egregious enough for anything serious to happen from just this report, but if you were actually uncomfortable from it it might be worth at least having an HR record of.

I think if you *don't* report it, it's weak enough that if you later were like "yes I've been a victim of sexual harassment at work!" I'd be like...okay I don't actually think you even believe that.

as someone who can and does get pretty fuckin lewd with their joking around at work, a comment like that about or at a person that isn't known to joke around that way is a pretty fuckin stupid idea.

Gremlynn posted...

as someone who can and does get pretty fuckin lewd with their joking around at work, a comment like that about or at a person that isn't known to joke around that way is a pretty fuckin stupid idea.

I mean, yeah, you definitely have to know the people you're talking to and be familiar with their boundaries. I'm just saying I'm glad MY co-workers aren't that stiff and we know that we can joke around each other like that.

she wasnt sexually harassing you in any way and youre being a candyass

God_of_6strings posted...

I mean, yeah, you definitely have to know the people you're talking to and be familiar with their boundaries. I'm just saying I'm glad MY co-workers aren't that stiff and we know that we can joke around each other like that.

for me it depends on the specific co-workers.

some people that i don't work with often prolly think i'm a humorless drag because i just haven't had time to pre-gauge what i think they are comfortable with so i keep my shit tame af around them.

Its not sexual harassment.

Said between friends, I don't think so.

Said between employees in a professional environment, borderline but definitely worth reporting.

Sexual life doesn't have any place in business, with people you don't discuss that kind of stuff with.

Edit: you can't "claim" to have been harrassed at work without reporting it officially. You'll lose all credibility if you do so.

Itachi: "I was sexually harrassed at work"
Itachi's colleague: "WTF? By who?! What did HR say?"
Itachi: "Oh well I didn't report it"
Itachi's colleague: "Huh, well it probably wasn't that serious. Probably not harrassment either."

Crying wolf not only belittles you, it also makes it more difficult for people who've actually been sexually harrassed to be taken seriously. I'm sure you're not, but please don't use it as an attention-seeking opportunity. If you're genuinely upset / uncomfortable, then report it to your employer. If you're not that bothered, then you weren't harrassed, and you can drop it.

Sound to me she was just joking and didn't mean it. I'd give her the benefit of doubt.

all the "it's not REAL harassment if you don't report it!" comments are fucking disgusting.

Gremlynn posted...

all the "it's not REAL harassment if you don't report it!" comments are fucking disgusting.

I know I'm part of this, so let me respond politely.

Harrassment is real and doesn't need reporting to be true, real, official, etc.

However in a professional environment, it needs to be reported in order to prevent anything further from happening. A lot of businesses are run by folks who have a different take to life than others - and they may simply dismiss a genuine harrassment case as "ah, they're just playing around".

If you're being harrassed (and) it makes you feel fucking terrible, I will argue all night that it needs to be reported. There is no way that mindsets or cliques can be changed without this sort of action. By not reporting it, you're just one voice against another. If the harrasser is a senior employee or in the "good employees club" or whatever - who's going to get their case thrown out?

Reporting harrassment means it's recorded, registered, and HR will take action accordingly. The laws are strict on this. Yes, sometimes there might be genuine mistakes (e.g. guy carries a pipe into a building, accidentally boops a female because he didn't look behind him), but if you're working somewhere that exhibits any sign of harrassment, report it to make sure it's dealt with straight away.

TLDR, harrassment is real whether it's reported or not. But not reporting it can lead to repeated behaviour, or even trivialise the issue.

Luigi_and_Tails posted...

I know I'm part of this, so let me respond politely.

Harrassment is real and doesn't need reporting to be true, real, official, etc.

However in a professional environment, it needs to be reported in order to prevent anything further from happening. A lot of businesses are run by folks who have a different take to life than others - and they may simply dismiss a genuine harrassment case as "ah, they're just playing around".

If you're being harrassed (and) it makes you feel fucking terrible, I will argue all night that it needs to be reported. There is no way that mindsets or cliques can be changed without this sort of action. By not reporting it, you're just one voice against another. If the harrasser is a senior employee or in the "good employees club" or whatever - who's going to get their case thrown out?

Reporting harrassment means it's recorded, registered, and HR will take action accordingly. The laws are strict on this. Yes, sometimes there might be genuine mistakes (e.g. guy carries a pipe into a building, accidentally boops a female because he didn't look behind him), but if you're working somewhere that exhibits any sign of harrassment, report it to make sure it's dealt with straight away.

TLDR, harrassment is real whether it's reported or not. But not reporting it can lead to repeated behaviour, or even trivialise the issue.

this is literally the exact opposite of what you said before.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/3/4/AAfc_TAAEXhm.jpg

Gremlynn posted...

this is literally the exact opposite of what you said before.

Which is why you don't give a one sentence response to something that's not that trivial - like I did.