Current Events > DSPGaming General XXIX: The Interrogation of Philip Burnell

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://youtu.be/CDoriKFv0cw

He claims he has no time to find a cheaper tire

Zikten posted...

https://youtu.be/CDoriKFv0cw

He claims he has no time to find a cheaper tire

People who work 70 hours per week somehow have more free time than him.

Nazanir posted...

People who work 70 hours per week somehow have more free time than him.

I'm not even thirty and I loved his movie!

Phil is shitting on the Gollum game saying that the fact that there was no early reviews was clearly because of how bad it was.

But Phil literally wants early reviews to not be a thing. He wants review copies to go away and for reviewers and players to get the game "at the same time." That's his stated philosophy.

It's just insane that literally anything he does, if you have a memory slightly better than a goldfish you can just remember when he said or did the exact opposite.

https://youtu.be/31-rmYE-FnQ

Phil says it's immoral to talk badly about him

Apparently in a recent Tears of the Kingdom stream, Dave killed a whopping 14 enemies throughout the entire 4 hour long stream. And 10 of those were in a "kill da monsters" sidequest that he ragequit, so it's actually 4. One monster per hour, that he doesn't even pick up parts so he can fuse because fuck playing the game I guess. And this pig is wondering why he's so fucking weak and can't kill anything.

Oh, and here's footage of him raging out at a Flux Construct III, which I beat without getting hit literally today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWbmtY8_XSU

So, DSP is retconning the tire story. If you mention his tires straight to the ban world.

I heard that people are thinking Kat had a car accident and this was Phil's way to get more money from donations. Attempting sympathy

Zikten posted...

I heard that people are thinking Kat had a car accident and this was Phil's way to get more money from donations. Attempting sympathy

It makes sense. He bans any mention of it now. Hasn't talked about it. Lol

Makes you think he got what he needed from that.

He seems to do that with all of his scams: he pushes and pushes and pushes, then once the scam has reached a point he's satisfied with, it's IMMEDIATELY dropped, and all talk about it results in a permaban.

It's always the same with every single scam, yet his dents can never put two and two together.

Pretty sure the reason he still eats off paper plates is because his dish washer is still broken...even though it's been 2 years, but you're banned if you bring it up now.

Isn't this the guy who sucks at games and cries about it?

b_nolan posted...

Pretty sure the reason he still eats off paper plates is because his dish washer is still broken...even though it's been 2 years, but you're banned if you bring it up now.

He owns a kitchen sink though right? Does he not know how to wash dishes by hand?

Too busy making KAHNTENT

Zelda gives you so many tools to tackle obstacles, yet Phil fails coming up with a single one. This game perfectly shows Phil's complete and utter lack of both critical and creative thinking. You don't have to come up with a solution on your first attempt, this is why trial and error is a thing.

Something Phil is also great it is making EVERYTHING personal. Like games are sentient beings who are out to get him. Pay attention to the way he talks. He really has convinced himself that the world is out to get him. And sure, a big part of that is because he lives like a recluse, but the other part is his winning personality.

It would be so easy to say that became he's a streamer who does very little gaming and the little he does is not always the same game, the new Zelda doesn't work for him, leaving all the unsaid truths out, that he is too boring to keep an audience's attention for several stream sessions, unlike all other professional game streamers.

But he has to instead make it an issue with the game. It's not made for the common gamer who has limited time. Bitch, shut the fuck up.

But if games are too short he complains that they're not the price.

https://youtu.be/8VzSnij3sfk

He whines in sync with this old self. He just can't stop making excuses, even though this recording is 7 years old. It's like a reflex.

he gets mad over sexual jokes but, scat humor from him is ok.

Who's worse at video games, the Irate Gamer, or DSP?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1DMMPkEQoI

I think DSP might legitimately have an intellectual disability.

Nazanir posted...

https://youtu.be/8VzSnij3sfk

He whines in sync with this old self. He just can't stop making excuses, even though this recording is 7 years old. It's like a reflex.

Phil's entire "business" is playing video games, but it he seems to have always had the cheapest internet with an old ass modem or something. Has this man verifiably ever played fighting games on a stable, wired connection?

Balnazarr posted...

he gets mad over sexual jokes but, scat humor from him is ok.

HE'S MARRIED, DOOD!

is he still getting whale jackpot money

SSJ2GrimReaper posted...

is he still getting whale jackpot money

OIC dipped but, his other whales have been stepping up.

https://youtu.be/ZsWQJxe8ME8

Why is he so surprised he has to start the fight over from the beginning as he dies? This is true for pretty much every game ever released.

And it once shows again he has not a single creative thought in that gin addled brain. Never tries to use any of the skills he picked up, nor does he show any mastery over the game after all the hours he put into it.

Just bitching and moaning.

Some modern games have checkpoints in bosses. His game of the year last year, God of War did that.

Phil's wife is considering buying Street Fighter VI

????

Just use Phil's copy the 99% of the time he's not playing it.

Why do they double dip on everything and then beg for money?

BurmesePenguin posted...

Some modern games have checkpoints in bosses. His game of the year last year, God of War did that.

A vet gamer doesn't realize sometimes how much the hand holding and markers has took away any benefit we use to get from games. Feel like my parents who couldn't figure out how to get super mario to jump back in the day sometimes.

BurmesePenguin posted...

Some modern games have checkpoints in bosses. His game of the year last year, God of War did that.

It was his GOTY because Santa Monica literally made the game for room temp IQ people like him. And now that he's playing the antithesis of it with Zelda, where it doesn't tell you the puzzle solution 5 seconds after starting it, where they don't hand out checkpoints during big fights like the Lurelein liberation mission, where a number of the missions don't have waypoint markers on the map at all, he's having a tantrum and saying that the game's not for kids and shit.

https://www.youtube.com/live/66GymG-Wk-k?feature=share&t=5492

Is Dave the biggest piece of shit Dent of all time?

BurmesePenguin posted...

https://www.youtube.com/live/66GymG-Wk-k?feature=share&t=5492

Is Dave the biggest piece of shit Dent of all time?

Biggest victim for sure.

So with the general take of SF6 to my knowledge being "great game but world tour is kinda boring", how much do you want to bet that this pig will go full contrarian and say that world tour is literally the only good part of SF6?

Wtf he still hasnt fixed the shower that broke 2 years ago?

LightningAce11 posted...

Wtf he still hasnt fixed the shower that broke 2 years ago?

Nothing in house ever gets fixed, The shower, dish washer, the blinds in his office, all broken for years now and nothing has been done. Hell he even admitted to having year old ant poison still on his kitchen floor.

He has a cat. Him leaving poison on the floor should get his cat taken away.

did he wage quit zelda yet

Our boy Dave may have lost his checkmark thanks to Elon, but that hasn't stopped him from going viral, dangnabbit!
https://twitter.com/tlozbrainrot/status/1663593685370404889
https://www.tiktok.com/@emirisfarm/video/7238706597894130949

Seeing strangers find out about DSP for the first time is always hilarious.

LOL yeah, saw this during ChillMurray's stream when someone showed the chat.

I am not the gamer i use to be, but is he flashing to tell him he's about to get struck? Also, not sure if he was fucked anyway, but he did stop before it struck.

It's good to see someone always calling people stupid gets to be mocked for being stupid. Fuck him.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

I am not the gamer i use to be, but is he flashing to tell him he's about to get struck? Also, not sure if he was fucked anyway, but he did stop before it struck.

It's good to see someone always calling people stupid gets to be mocked for being stupid. Fuck him.

First off, there was zero chance that horse would outrun that lightning even if he didn't hit a rock, that's literally asking a horse to run at the speed of light. Second, the electric flashes that were on his shield that got quicker and quicker before the lightning struck are indeed a sign of "take this metal shit off before lightning strikes you". Third, the game outright tells you the first time you enter a thunderstorm with a metal weapon or shield equipped that having metal weapons and shields equipped during thunderstorms will result in you getting a nasty zap if you don't swap to wood, Zonite, or something, so he should have already known this and not even had it on to begin with.

Zikten posted...

I haven't played that game or even watched any footage of it. But it sounds like Phil is just completely ignoring tutorials

I know I've made this point several times already, but it's the anti God of War Ragnarok where unlike that game where it's on Dora the Explorer mode all the time for puzzles no matter what difficulty you're on because they tell you the solution 10 seconds later, ToTK has things open ended for you to make your own solution for shrine puzzles or whatever issues that may arise around the world map. The creative aspect of the pig's brain is completely calcified, so as a result, this is an extremely difficult game for him despite it being made for literal children.

I haven't played that game or even watched any footage of it. But it sounds like Phil is just completely ignoring tutorials

dancing_cactuar posted...

First off, there was zero chance that horse would outrun that lightning even if he didn't hit a rock, that's literally asking a horse to run at the speed of light. Second, the electric flashes that were on his shield that got quicker and quicker before the lightning struck are indeed a sign of "take this metal shit off before lightning strikes you". Third, the game outright tells you the first time you enter a thunderstorm with a metal weapon or shield equipped that having metal weapons and shields equipped during thunderstorms will result in you getting a nasty zap if you don't swap to wood, Zonite, or something, so he should have already known this and not even had it on to begin with.

Ok...sounds like dsp...not paying attention to what the game tells you. He earns it.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

Ok...sounds like dsp...not paying attention to what the game tells you. He earns it.

It still baffles me that a game explains things and Phil then discards that information only to shit on the game blaming it for not explaining everything.

He's a narcissist...Trust me that they will climb a tree to tell a lie, and rarely if ever admit fault. To truly hurt bastards like that you have to disregard everything they say as insignificant garbage like what happened in the side strollers podcast. Watching him cry, break, and delude himself into thinking they wanted to be his friend was telling.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

He's a narcissist...Trust me that they will climb a tree to tell a lie, and rarely if ever admit fault. To truly hurt bastards like that you have to disregard everything they say as insignificant garbage like what happened in the side strollers podcast. Watching him cry, break, and delude himself into thinking they wanted to be his friend was telling.

Well sure, this is why he is always angry when someone calls him out or point at his obvious lies. But even if you do something you hate, by sheer force of repetition some knowledge will eventually be instilled and your skill should improve, even by a little.

Nazanir posted...

Well sure, this is why he is always angry when someone calls him out or point at his obvious lies. But even if you do something you hate, by sheer force of repetition some knowledge will eventually be instilled and your skill should improve, even by a little.

He hasn't been socializing, and mentally this is the cost. He doesn't let anyone challenge him out of fear of being wrong, and so he hasn't been growing for years. The zelda thing might be funny, but has dark implications as far as his mental health, and critical thinking.

He's officially put Zelda on hiatus "for a little bit" AKA he doesn't want another tweet mocking him going viral again

He is literally hanging a street fighter shirt on an easel as background decoration for street fighter month.

Phil had to have a dent tell him that he can use the shuffle feature to randomize which dents' videos get viewed for his react show.

He literally had to have someone else tell him that he could use shuffle.

BurmesePenguin posted...

Phil had to have a dent tell him that he can use the shuffle feature to randomize which dents' videos get viewed for his react show.

He literally had to have someone else tell him that he could use shuffle.

He knows nothing yet is the expert on everything.