Current Events > What is it called if you're apathetic about gender?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Like you identify as male, but it's whatever. You don't really care and you'd be cool if someone called you they/them.

I could be wrong, but I think that would fall under non-binary.

A gray lump

Yeah, that sounds like non-binary/gender nonconforming.

It could be agender, yes.

I read a book by an agender woman. She professed not to feel any kind of attachment to her presentation, but ultimately feels like presenting as a woman is easier because she was socialized that way. And since she doesn't care one way or another....she might as well make her life that much easier.

Would you be okay with presenting less masc/more femme, I guess? Is the idea intriguing, or just whatever?

agender maybe? idk i've been feeling similarly myself tbh

Its called nothing, if you identify as a man then youre just a man. Nothing about being a man includes being upset by the usage of gender neutral pronouns.

Tenlaar posted...

Its called nothing, if you identify as a man then youre just a man. Nothing about being a man includes being upset by the usage of gender neutral pronouns.

But everything has a definition these days, no matter how obscure and personalized the feeling may be.

agender covers both people who identify outside of the gender spectrum as well as people who do not identify with any gender.

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Skirts are fucking comfortable tho

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Some do have pockets.
They just tend to be nowhere near as good.

I do have a pretty cute dress with pockets though, and that's awesome. I do carry a purse when I don't have pockets (it's received excellent reviews from women).

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Skirts aren't that bad for me, but I do tend have to a noticeable bulge in tight clothing, which always depresses me. I definitely plan on fixing that problem in the future.

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The latter

ElatedVenusaur posted...

Would you be okay with presenting less masc/more femme, I guess? Is the idea intriguing, or just whatever?

It's kinda whatever. I've dabbled in female stuff in private, but I have a self-confidence problem that goes way beyond gender identity.

I don't mind being a guy, but like that woman you mentioned, I'm just kinda that by convenience and habit.

I'm not great at articulating these things. I don't want to sound like I'm belittling or minimizing anyone else's gender expression.

Im a guy and its whatever to me, genuinely couldnt care less, but Ive never thought about or ever wanted to be a woman, just kinda like these are the cards Ive been dealt and rolling with it.

I wouldn't call that anything. You're still cis regardless of if you don't care about it.

Being trans or NB is when you actively feel that you're not your biological gender.

I think that makes you #woke

I think thats just being secure in yourself. Or, kinda apathetic.

Genderbored

I wanna come back here after I wake up.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/1/3/AABUaRAADbHp.jpg
I don't know if this is a particularly widespread term or not.

Or if it's particularly relevant, now that I'm rereading it.

Whoops.

Male? Or Female?

_HayleyWilliams posted...

The latter

It's kinda whatever. I've dabbled in female stuff in private, but I have a self-confidence problem that goes way beyond gender identity.

I don't mind being a guy, but like that woman you mentioned, I'm just kinda that by convenience and habit.

I'm not great at articulating these things. I don't want to sound like I'm belittling or minimizing anyone else's gender expression.

Her name is Chanda Prescod-Weinstein, in case youre curious. Shes a Black Jewish physicist.

But back to the topic at hand: youre ultimately the only one can define your gender and your relationship to your assigned gender at birth, because you know more about yourself than anyone else ever could. Just know that whatever you settle on and/or do (including nothing), youre valid.

I kind of feel this way, but I think I identify more as a man than a women by far. I just don't mind being called it/maam/she etc

Sounds like me tbh

I'm in the same boat. I spent a lot of time last year trying to determine if that makes me NB or not.

Ultimately I landed on labels being really pointless. I was making myself pretty unhappy by trying to arbitrarily define something that I have no strong feelings about.

dotsdfe posted...

Ultimately I landed on labels being really pointless. I was making myself pretty unhappy by trying to arbitrarily define something that I have no strong feelings about.

That's understandable. If people are happy with their labels, good for them, but I get not wanting to personally put yourself in a box if it doesn't feel right.

My brain wants to put everything in a bunch of neat, little categories. I'm the kind of guy that makes spreadsheets for fun. So I've struggled with both personal and social revelations challenging my rigid thought processes.

_HayleyWilliams posted...

That's understandable. If people are happy with their labels, good for them, but I get not wanting to personally put yourself in a box if it doesn't feel right.

My brain wants to put everything in a bunch of neat, little categories. I'm the kind of guy that makes spreadsheets for fun. So I've struggled with both personal and social revelations challenging my rigid thought processes.

That's fair.

The thought process that I went through with all of it was essentially:

-I realized that I've never had any real feelings about my gender. I've never felt compelled to act manly or like 'boy things'. I actually watched some kind of girly cartoons as a kid until my parents told me to stop.

-I did a lot of deep soul searching and came to the conclusion that I don't really care about gender concepts at all. There's just no feeling there at all and I don't think I can comprehend the idea of choosing interests or acting a certain way because of gender.

-However, I don't feel dysphoria or anything and it feels kind of bizarre to label myself solely based off of the lack of feeling as opposed to using a stronger feeling to identify it. Like, if I actively felt not-male, I'd have a strong feeling to know for sure, but I just don't really feel like anything or have any real feelings identifying with any specific gender or anything. There just aren't feelings there.

-I'd probably be fine with either "he" or "they" but I don't really ultimately care that much. It just seems easier to stick with "he/him" just because I'm not really all that interested in the pronouns or presentation or anything at all, and it's just easier to not change anything. If I updated my Twitter bio or whatever, I'd probably add "he/they" since either one is fine, but it also feels like too much effort.

-Regardless, I went back and forth on whether my total lack of feeling means that I'm just cis and really comfortable, or NB. From what I read about, it's most likely agender by its definition, which would fall under the non-binary umbrella overall.

-But after like a week or two of going back and forth of trying to label myself and know for sure, I just kind of stopped and said "You know, this really doesn't matter. I'm fine with being called "he" and ultimately wouldn't change anything about myself either way. I think, just by textbook definitions, I'd probably fall under NB, but I was just driving myself crazy trying to find an answer and not coming up with strong feelings either way.

Not sure if that helps, but that's essentially how my thought process went step-by-step when I was trying really hard to figure it all out.