Current Events > Polyamory is unhealthy.

(+) Yeah! (+)

We must continue to investigate why people are unsatisfied with a single partner in favor of multiple partners. It often comes down to childhood love received (not well received) from parents/guardians. Yes, true research.

cuz we put on this earth for maybe 50-60 years. Then we disappear into the abyss. Why not be able to clap as many cheeks as possible?

Thinking that everybody should live and love the same way that you do is unhealthy.

I thought the topic said Pokemon was unhealthy. Still kind of made sense lol.

Lokison posted...

I thought the topic said Pokemon was unhealthy. Still kind of made sense lol.

I too thought the topic said Pokemon. I was going to suggest using less butter.

Sounds like TC is just jealous that he can't get one girlfriend, while some of us have multiple girlfriends at the same time.

I dont really get it, and I think there are definitely people who have talked themselves into the notion that they dont mind sharing their partner with someone else when they really do mind.

but whatever, its your life. You do you.

You don't have to understand it to respect other people's lifestyles. Don't be judgemental.

bsp77 posted...

You don't have to understand it to respect other people's lifestyles. Don't be judgemental.

im not being judgmental. What consenting adults decide to do is fine by me.

I just find the fact that there are definitely people out there who want to be with someone else so badly that theyre willing to compromise having to share them is really sad.

but still, their life, their choice

Agreed, TC. Polyamory is part of the decay of morals in our society.

I just saw pictures on facebook of my married poly friend who was on a vacation to Portugal with one of his partners, with his wife and another girlfriend stayed at home. The wife also occasionally posts pictures of her overseas vacations with one of her partners, not including the husband.

They've been doing this for maybe 10 years now and are one of the happiest couples I've ever seen.

Solid Snake07 posted...

im not being judgmental. What consenting adults decide to do is fine by me.

I just find the fact that there are definitely people out there who want to be with someone else so badly that theyre willing to compromise having to share them is really sad.

but still, their life, their choice

But that is not true of actual polygamists. They choose the lifestyle.

Now in the case you listed above, that is someone settling in a pathetic way and that is really sad.

Pepys Monster posted...

Agreed, TC. Polyamory is part of the decay of morals in our society.

WTF? People that say this stuff also feel that LGBTQ is a part of that "decay".

Note, I am not a polygamist in any way. Unless you count dating 3 women casually at one time as polygamy, but those weren't actual relationships.

TC is the one who asked if it was sus for two guys over 25 to hang out alone lol

I think it's something that can work for some specific people, but the majority of the time it's people who simply cannot think about long term consequences or people who ultimately fool themselves into thinking it's an actual solution to their relationship issues.

bsp77 posted...

WTF? People that say this stuff also feel that LGBTQ is a part of that "decay".

Straw man. I don't believe that.

A man should have a girlfriend/wife, and a mistress. Gives everyone some variety, there are 3 incomes if living together, and its fun. Make sure when choosing a mistress both you and your partner both approve and like her, never keep her secret or try to get a mistress your girlfriend/wife does not like or worse hates.

My dream relationship in a perfect world is me+woman+man. If it works for them then what's there to be mad at?

Gwynevere posted...

TC is the one who asked if it was sus for two guys over 25 to hang out alone lol

Ohhh.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

A man should have a girlfriend/wife, and a mistress. Gives everyone some variety, there are 3 incomes if living together, and its fun. Make sure when choosing a mistress both you and your partner both approve and like her, never keep her secret or try to get a mistress your girlfriend/wife does not like or worse hates.

That would work too.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

A man should have a girlfriend/wife, and a mistress. Gives everyone some variety, there are 3 incomes if living together, and its fun. Make sure when choosing a mistress both you and your partner both approve and like her, never keep her secret or try to get a mistress your girlfriend/wife does not like or worse hates.

Does she get a, um, whatever you call a male mistress?

i agree tc but this bored is all about supporting social trends and polyamorous people insist that they are just "like that" and not 2 judge them 4 their needs.

never met a polyamorous person who wasn't in some longterm marriage and rightfully wanted to add spice (i get that more, but that's not sustained polyamory, just screwing around w/consent), or just some goth swinger that was being played by their partner.

Making a relationship with just one other person work long term is already an incredibly complex and compromising undertaking. I cant even imagine adding even more people to that mix, sounds impossible tbh

Solid Snake07 posted...

Making a relationship with just one other person work long term is already an incredibly complex and compromising undertaking. I cant even imagine adding even more people to that mix, sounds impossible tbh

Okay think of love like this. You have a candle and it's lit. Other people have candles out. You can light all of them without yours ever burning out from doing so. And they can light other candles with their flames without putting themselves out.

That's how love is. And it can include romantic love with the right people.

bsp77 posted...

Does she get a, um, whatever you call a male mistress?

Paramour, or Cicisbeo

gunplagirl posted...

Okay think of love like this. You have a candle and it's lit. Other people have candles out. You can light all of them without yours ever burning out from doing so. And they can light other candles with their flames without putting themselves out.

That's how love is. And it can include romantic love with the right people.

.Im not talking about candles. Im talking about human relationships, which are a complex, dynamic and ever changing thing that cannot be neatly wrapped up in a simplistic allegory.

bsp77 posted...

Does she get a, um, whatever you call a male mistress?

The whole point is the second woman is there for the benefit of both of us. No other dudes as I do not share women and I have no interest in other men sexually.

SrRd_RacinG posted...

We must continue to investigate why people are unsatisfied with a single partner in favor of multiple partners. It often comes down to childhood love received (not well received) from parents/guardians. Yes, true research.

Source

Immense cringe

Solid Snake07 posted...

Making a relationship with just one other person work long term is already an incredibly complex and compromising undertaking. I cant even imagine adding even more people to that mix, sounds impossible tbh

But we know for a fact that it works for some, so your opinion is meaningless. Look, I don't get polygamy or how it works either. As a result, I simply don't make assumptions about it at all; I only observe.

bsp77 posted...

But we know for a fact that it works for some, so your opinion is meaningless. Look, I don't get polygamy or how it works either. As a result, I simply don't make assumptions about it at all; I only observe.

I didnt say it is impossible, I said it seems impossible to me. Dont know why youre getting upset.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

The whole point is the second woman is there for the benefit of both of us. No other dudes as I do not share women and I have no interest in other men sexually.

Oh she is bisexual? Your example only works in that specific scenario.

I am straight and my gf is bisexual, but I don't think she would be up for this lol. Not sure I would be either, honestly.

Solid Snake07 posted...

I didnt say it is impossible, I said it seems impossible to me. Dont know why youre getting upset.

I'm not upset at all. I am only debating.

And I agree it seems impossible to me as well, but I know for a fact it is not for others.

I remember Projared and his wife agreeing to an open marrige and she went crazy and tried to destroy his life because he broke the ground rules they agreed to with another woman.

Sometimes it can work but nine times out of ten it's doomed to fail

darkprince45 posted...

cuz we put on this earth for maybe 50-60 years. Then we disappear into the abyss. Why not be able to clap as many cheeks as possible?

Not everyone wants to clap multiple cheeks. Tbh if I could only clap the same cheeks for the rest of my life of someone I truly loved, I would be completely fine with that. I think I may have found that person too :)

Yes should have clarified that she is bi, so far we have 2 women competing so to speak to be our mistress. I think by the end of February we will make our choice.

I am pretty firm though that only one of them will join us not both which she has suggested.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

Yes should have clarified that she is bi, so far we have 2 women competing so to speak to be our mistress. I think by the end of February we will make our choice.

I am pretty firm though that only one of them will join us not both which she has suggested.

What's the interview process? :)

Solid Snake07 posted...

.Im not talking about candles. Im talking about human relationships, which are a complex, dynamic and ever changing thing that cannot be neatly wrapped up in a simplistic allegory.

There's a variety of relationships and plenty of people. How their relationships form will always take a unique shape. My forming a deep and trusting relationship with my fiance doesn't need to take away from a previously existing deep and trusting relationship with a partner who I'm basically never going to leave alone because of how deep our similarities run. I actually get to know my partners in and out before I even really start saying I love them. *shrugs* But it's also a temperament thing I guess? Whatever. I do get jealous but I also know that my relationships with others can take many forms and that it doesn't have to take away from what I can have with others.

gamefaqs is unhealthy

Just let people do what they want so long as all parties involved are consenting

bsp77 posted...

I'm not upset at all. I am only debating.

And I agree it seems impossible to me as well, but I know for a fact it is not for others.

Id say going out of your way to say your opinion is meaningless is just you being unnecessarily antagonistic more than its you debating. I havent insulted you or anyone else in this topic.

Solid Snake07 posted...

Id say going out of your way to say your opinion is meaningless is just you being unnecessarily antagonistic more than its you debating. I havent insulted you or anyone else in this topic.

But that's it, it is meaningless. My point was that my opinion is meaningless too. We aren't polygamists and can't possibly understand how it works for them, and we don't need to. It was not an insult.

Why is this bigotry allowed? "Polyamory is unhealthy" is a slur.

You can't say it about any other relationship, anymore - and for good reason, it's rightfully condemned.

So should, the frankly insulting insinuation it's from some childhood trauma - not everyone has the same relationships as you, get over yourself.

bsp77 posted...

What's the interview process? :)

Its not really any different then dating, you can both approach, have the woman approach, or if online you set up a meet like any other date for drinks or lunch. You almost always get the question of are you two swingers or is this an open relationship. Pretty much everyone is getting to know each other and what they want. Some women just want to have a threesome or experiment which sometimes is a fun night other times we just do not click.