Current Events > Asked someone out, am I right in thinking it was mostly a no?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I found out a few weeks ago that a coworker apparently had a crush on me (I'm fairly certain it was accurate info). I communicated that I was also interested to the person who told me. I was also told that I wasn't supposed to be told about it and she'd be embarrassed if I knew.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, another coworker put together a board game group and invited both of us. It was only me, him, and her at the group. I feel like we clicked decently enough at it (previously we had barely spoken). The group could have gone on longer than it did but she had to leave due to her son (she has a 5 year old).

Anyway when we were walking out I decided to ask her out (specifically if she wanted to grab lunch). She said "Lunch sometime? Sure. I'm pretty busy due to my son a lot of the time but we should exchange numbers." Which we did.

So while she technically said yes, mentioning being busy a lot kind of sounds like a preemptive excuse. If I text her later this week and see if she's available and she says no, I'll drop it.

yeah i'd say thats a decent assessment of the situation, good for you.

Get super drunk and blow up her phone at 3am with ramblings. That's the way to a womans heart. They love knowing you're thinking of them at odd hours.

Actually sounds like she's kinda interested. I wouldn't read too much into it, sounds like she's just letting you know up front she's a mom and not gonna hang out all the time like normal people do.

she said yes and you think it's a no some how?...relax my dude

I'd point out that nothing about that necessarily screams "date." She may just think you want to, you know, grab lunch. You've gotta be clear about these things.

But yes, aside from not being 100% on that being a date, I don't read disinterest in that.

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Yeah this. I've dated single moms and most (or, the sensible ones at least) do not want a guy anywhere near their kid until they're a well-established relationship.

IndorilGawain posted...

I'd point out that nothing about that necessarily screams "date." She may just think you want to, you know, grab lunch. You've gotta be clear about these things.

I'm aware. The plan was if the lunch went well I'd ask her on a more obvious date.

Johnny_Nutcase posted...

Get super drunk and blow up her phone at 3am with ramblings. That's the way to a womans heart. They love knowing you're thinking of them at odd hours.

Lol. I texted her once to give her my number (I only took hers when we were there) but I'm not planning on texting her any more this weekend unless she starts talking to me.

CoolMaskGuy posted...

I'm aware. The plan was if the lunch went well I'd ask her on a more obvious date.

Fair enough

the first part of this story had me thinking this was some high school story then they hit you with a 5 year old kid

tbh TC, your description of this whole scenario reads as someone who is absolutely not ready to date a woman with a child

TheGoldenEel posted...

tbh TC, your description of this whole scenario reads as someone who is absolutely not ready to date a woman with a child

Tbh this. You've gotta accept that she will often be busy, you will never come first, and you will not have unlimited time together.

If she is a single mother run in the opposite direction and find a women who does NOT have a child and as much baggage.

There are way to many single women out there without a child that you should be dating.

If youre gonna date a girl with a kid you have to realize that kid will always be her #1 priority no matter how amazing you might be. And yes she will be busy

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RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

If she is a single mother run in the opposite direction and find a women who does NOT have a child and as much baggage.

There are way to many single women out there without a child that you should be dating.

Really ignorant posts.

thronedfire2 posted...

If youre gonna date a girl with a kid you have to realize that kid will always be her #1 priority no matter how amazing you might be. And yes she will be busy

This, you will be 3rd or 4th in terms of importance, do not waste time and money on this woman when you can be a priority to a single woman who has NOT had a child.

BTW these posts are not ignorant they are trying to help you not be a fool. The people supporting you dating a single mother think very little of you.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

This, you will be 3rd or 4th in terms of importance, do not waste time and money on this woman when you can be a priority to a single woman who has NOT had a child.

That was not the takeaway from his post lmao. Jesus christ man.

You are in the best position and mindset here, roll with it and good luck to ya

IndorilGawain posted...

Tbh this. You've gotta accept that she will often be busy, you will never come first, and you will not have unlimited time together.

I'm aware of and accept all three of those points. Anyway we'll see how it plays out. Even if it doesn't work out I'd like to give it a try. I won't contact her again until later next week to check if she's available for lunch next weekend.

I wouldn't go for someone with a toddler unless she's milfy hot but hey, you do you TC. Your plan sounds like a.. plan. Yeah

Ok well good luck topic creator, some dudes learn the hard way, I hope you dont though.

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How can I be an incel with a girlfriend I am living with ???

Stop trying to simp and white knight for these single mothers.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

Ok well good luck topic creator, some dudes learn the hard way, I hope you dont though.

I'm pretty sure I'll live.

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You call me an incel yet your the one using weeb language, gtfoh.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

Ok well good luck topic creator, some dudes learn the hard way, I hope you dont though.

Oh no he's going to learn that single moms are awesome partners and far and away the horniest and the best in bed how horrible for him

IndorilGawain posted...

Oh no he's going to learn that single moms are awesome partners and far and away the horniest and the best in bed how horrible for him

You make me cry and laugh at the same time if you actually believe this. No high value man or a man with any self respect is going to choose a single mother to have a serious relationship with.

Please watch some Kevin Samuels, he might be able to enlighten you.

RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

high value man

lmfao

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Obviously just my personal experience. I've only been in a serious relationship with one, but I've dated/slept with others and that's been my experience.

Shes got a 5 year old. Yeah shes going to be pretty busy so she was being honest so you know to be patient with her. If she starts ghosting you and cancelling plans then shes not interested anymore.

MabusIncarnate posted...

You are in the best position and mindset here, roll with it and good luck to ya

Partly this.

But also you're over thinking it imo tc. But it's not that worst kind of overthinking that a lot of dudes do.

CanuckCowboy posted...

Partly this.

But also you're over thinking it imo tc. But it's not that worst kind of overthinking that a lot of dudes do.

Yeah, probably. She replied to my text sending her my number, so I guess that's a positive sign

Why don't you just... ask her out for a specific time and place? That'll clear things up pretty quick.

I went out with a mom before, its hard because they have to work everything around their kid

she interested but if she has to cancel at the last minute because of her child

trust me it more than likely true