Current Events > Why I have been single for 5 years

(+) Yeah! (+)

i don't think about it too often, but there have been social situations where i see a cute ass woman, and a friend tells me to approach her. this situation has happened to everyone, and can happen anywhere. at the store, at a party, whatever.

here's why i think it's impossible to approach that particular person. when i get approached by someone on the street, i automatically assume they're gonna ask me for money or harass me. so by default, i'm going to have a negative opinion about the person who is trying to initiate the conversation. not saying everyone thinks this way, but i do believe a LOT of people do. and i completely understand this. you really can't approach people anymore.

here's where the "me" problem comes in. i'm scared to approach, never know what to say. i fear rejection, i dislike rudeness, and to a very tiny extent, i do feel a little entitled. when i get rejected, it does piss me off a little, and i believe that's because of entitlement. because i'm a decent guy. sorry but just being honest. not saying it's right.

i'm not saying approach strange ass women, but this also applies to meeting people in general, whether it's at a bar or some mutual hobby like yoga or whatever.

truth is i dont know why i made this thread. i did want to come clean, hoping for some good ole sympathy, i like sympathy. but maybe you can talk some sense into me. maybe im being a dumbass.

anyway, to those who read this thank you homie. ce i love you all. anyone else have this issue?

---

Incel topic of the day

---

Njolk posted...

Incel topic of the day

well, i am an incel. but the only incel topic of the day eh?

---

Was wondering why this disappeared earlier.

---

What would you like sympathy for? For being too shy to approach women?

---

Alteres posted...

Was wondering why this disappeared earlier.

i royally messed up the paragraphs to the point where it was worth redoing rather than editing.

---

dj1200 posted...

What would you like sympathy for? For being too shy to approach women?

its definitely nice of you to cater to whichever type of sympathy i want

---

i'm the same way, i drink energy drinks a lot so i know i'm tasty and packed with vitamins, but only one woman ever showed interest in eating my flesh, and that was almost 10 years ago!!!

---

p

---

a

---

Because you touch yourself at night.

---

good job guys, you summoned Pa

---

I recommend a sales job to get over your fear of rejection. Rejection is a natural process. Even really good looking people get rejected because we are taught to fear strangers and most of the time it is true what you said. A person only approaches you because they want something, it might not necessarily be money, it could just be the energy that comes with a good deed etc.

The fact of the matter is this, if you want to stop being single you need to start putting yourself out there, if you look like crap start hitting the gym, eating well and dressing to impress, it is not that hard to find a match in real life. It is a heck of a lot easier than through dating apps. Just be careful bro.

TrollTrace posted...

I recommend a sales job to get over your fear of rejection. Rejection is a natural process. Even really good looking people get rejected because we are taught to fear strangers and most of the time it is true what you said. A person only approaches you because they want something, it might not necessarily be money, it could just be the energy that comes with a good deed etc.

The fact of the matter is this, if you want to stop being single you need to start putting yourself out there, if you look like crap start hitting the gym, eating well and dressing to impress, it is not that hard to find a match in real life. It is a heck of a lot easier than through dating apps. Just be careful bro.

I actually really appreciate you taking time to write this out. You're probably not going to like this, but I actually used to work in sales. I should know better, because eventually I did just kind of lose emotion when it came to getting rejected, and just started offering to the customer without caring. Just do it, that's basically the lesson here.

---

All I can say is we are only here once. Do you want to leave this world full of regrets and what ifs? Or you can take the potential sting of rejection, and stay afraid and for all you know that one you could have spoken to but didn't may have very well been the one. You just gotta go for it man, get your head out of it, hell take a shot of liquor to get a bit of courage before hand. You'd be surprised how much of a difference an alcohol buzz can make in social situations, and it helps you open up a ton and brush things off easier.

Regardless, you have a time frame, and it doesn't last long before you are in your 40s and alone, and your best days are behind you. Find it in you to make it happen, so you aren't looking back wondering why you didn't.

---

You have to love yourself.

---

pojr posted...

its definitely nice of you to cater to whichever type of sympathy i want

Well, you asked for sympathy. Im trying to find out what you want sympathy for?

---

MabusIncarnate posted...

All I can say is we are only here once. Do you want to leave this world full of regrets and what ifs? Or you can take the potential sting of rejection, and stay afraid and for all you know that one you could have spoken to but didn't may have very well been the one. You just gotta go for it man, get your head out of it, hell take a shot of liquor to get a bit of courage before hand. You'd be surprised how much of a difference an alcohol buzz can make in social situations, and it helps you open up a ton and brush things off easier.

Regardless, you have a time frame, and it doesn't last long before you are in your 40s and alone, and your best days are behind you. Find it in you to make it happen, so you aren't looking back wondering why you didn't.

Thank you. I should mention I am 29 so I'm already almost at the end of my best days lol. Also I've never drank alcohol in my entire life


---

BobanMarjanovic posted...

You have to love yourself.

This.

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all...

---

pojr posted...

Thank you. I should mention I am 29 so I'm already almost at the end of my best days lol. Also I've never drank alcohol in my entire life

Bad advice then, as a former alcoholic, don't start lol.

29 isn't bad though, you still got a lot of time. You really just gotta get in a better mindset, and accept that people will say no. Guess what? Chances are you will never see that person again the rest of your life. A tiny blip in a moment in your life that came and went and will not be a factor anymore. It's like playing the slots, drop in a quarter, pull the lever, you lose. Do you sulk or do you pump in another quarter and try again, and get over the loss?

I feel you on this because I had severe social anxiety, and I hit a "screw it" point and just put myself out there. Inevitably I dated a few before getting married, still married 17 years later. If I didn't take the risk, who the hell knows where i'm at right now.

---

I never been in a relationship in my life and I don't think I'll ever be in one. I'm just way too damn passive. Idk, I always think negatively, like if I see someone is flirting with me I'll just assume that they're just a generally friendly person instead of them wanting something more with me. Like currently at my job, there's this girl and we have some sort of chemistry going on to the point that other people around the workplace think we're dating. Like I feel like if I ask her out that there's a 70% chance she says yes to me. But to me that 30% chance of failure is too much and I rather not risk messing up our friendship and make it awkward tbh

The only way I'll think I'll ever be in a relationship is if they were the aggressors and ask me out instead. Though even then, even if I wanted to date them I'll still say no because of dumb thoughts like "I'm not good enough for them", "This is just her playing a prank on me." "She's just gonna regret it."

>_>

---

I 100% relate and always felt that way in college. I hated when people would randomly approach me in public, so the idea of doing it to girls who are already uncomfortable belt approached by strangers, was really hard for me to do.

I ended up just using dating sites and that's how I met my wife originally lol. I know they don't work for everyone but it's worth considering \_()_/

---

dj1200 posted...

What would you like sympathy for? For being too shy to approach women?

Dude shut the fuck up. He's here looking for a pep talk, not shitposts.

---

BobanMarjanovic posted...

You have to love yourself.

No, you absolutely don't. Lol
---

LostForest posted...

Dude shut the fuck up. He's here looking for a pep talk, not shitposts.

Well unfortunately that's literally all dj1200 is capable of. I have that dude tagged as NPC
---

One_Day_Remains posted...

Well unfortunately that's literally all dj1200 is capable of. I have that dude tagged as NPC

thx bro. Btw I dont think Ive ever seen you post.

---

LostForest posted...

Dude shut the fuck up. He's here looking for a pep talk, not shitposts.

you shut up, Im trying to find out why he wants sympathy specifically

---

pojr posted...

I actually really appreciate you taking time to write this out. You're probably not going to like this, but I actually used to work in sales. I should know better, because eventually I did just kind of lose emotion when it came to getting rejected, and just started offering to the customer without caring. Just do it, that's basically the lesson here.

If you did sales that is basically like dating. You get a bunch of no's at first and then you start to get a hang of the folks who give you yes's so then it is just a matter of being polite and inviting them to your world. Does the opposite sex intimidate you? I will be sincere, do not try to have sex with your dates, i found you make a better impression by not being into women purely for their sex appeal. Think about what qualities a woman needs to possess in order to win YOU over and go from there, that is a point of confidence and knowing what you want. Try and save sex for after marriage. Get head or give head and whatnot but do not give up your virginity to just anyone. If you are going to do that save yourself the trouble and hire escorts/prostitutes, just being real.

Try and save sex for after marriage in the year of our lord 2021?

---

CrimsonWaffle posted...

This.

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all...

well thats definitely true. i feel like i've come a long way but still have issues.

MabusIncarnate posted...

Bad advice then, as a former alcoholic, don't start lol.

29 isn't bad though, you still got a lot of time. You really just gotta get in a better mindset, and accept that people will say no. Guess what? Chances are you will never see that person again the rest of your life. A tiny blip in a moment in your life that came and went and will not be a factor anymore. It's like playing the slots, drop in a quarter, pull the lever, you lose. Do you sulk or do you pump in another quarter and try again, and get over the loss?

I feel you on this because I had severe social anxiety, and I hit a "screw it" point and just put myself out there. Inevitably I dated a few before getting married, still married 17 years later. If I didn't take the risk, who the hell knows where i'm at right now.

you're 100% correct. and i appreciate hearing this.

---