Current Events > You're on a date and they mention wanting to retire / stay at home. WDYD?

(+) Yeah! (+)

You're on a date and the person hints they may want you to be the bread winner if things get serious by saying, "I can't wait to retire" / "I don't want to work". What do you do?

I've had this happen to me multiple times and it's a red flag to me because I want to be with someone ambitious and career oriented. I usually brush it off and say me too, but it's like minus 5 points for me.

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This should be something most couples discuss at some point later on in the relationship. Since careers and children aren't very compatible, although in my opinion I'd prefer my would be spouse to prioritize the latter then the former.

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this kind of lacks context. who says they want you to be the bread winner based off that alone? just means that they want to retire, and enjoy life--perhaps earlier than the average american. Who says they wouldn't work their butts off to save money to retire comfortably like 30 years down the road?

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I say hey, I hear ya

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I'd tell her good luck in finding a rich guy then.

Arcanine2009 posted...

this kind of lacks context. who says they want you to be the bread winner based off that alone? just means that they want to retire, and enjoy life--perhaps earlier than the average american. Who says they wouldn't work their butts off to save money to retire comfortably like 30 years down the road?

That's a good point. Maybe I'm reading into it too much. I've definitely gone on dates where the girl is not shy about me wanting to buy her stuff, so maybe the other dates where the girl is just casually lamenting about wanting to retire early is causing me to project.

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I'm pretty sure not wanting to work for the rest of your life is common among humans.

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Joker98 posted...

That's a good point. Maybe I'm reading into it too much. I've definitely gone on dates where the girl is not shy about me wanting to buy her stuff, so maybe the other dates where the girl is just casually lamenting about wanting to retire early is causing me to project.

i see. yeah I hate it when they keep asking me to buy stuff and not offering to pay for dates, or giving me anything in return.I stopped talking to one girl because of this recently.

but yeah, not too worried about the retirement thing. you can always casually ask what they mean by that.


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Arcanine2009 posted...

i see. yeah I hate it when they keep asking me to buy stuff and not offering to pay for dates, or giving me anything in return.I stopped talking to one girl because of this recently.

but yeah, not too worried about the retirement thing. you can always casually ask what they mean by that.

Out of curiosity, how would you phrase asking what they mean?

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