Current Events > Rob McElhenney & Ryan Reynolds discuss masculinity.......

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AngelsNAirwav3s posted...

It's just biology, men evolved to be more competitive.

it's not just a body issue, either

it's also about how men dress and talk, and what hobbies are "manly" (sports, hunting, etc)

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Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

This makes no sense to me. If you're so fucked, how the hell did you get a gf in the first place? Did you just ask her out on a rare good day? Makes no sense

The effects of poor mental health aren't always constantly or even prominently expressed. I could sporadically pull myself together long enough to get things going. Jobs, college, relationships, all kinds of projects... I initiated more things by 25 than most people do in an entire life and I didn't follow through with any of them. I don't have staying power. I can generally nail interviews, make a great first impression, come up with ideas, generate interest, and captivate people but I fall apart not long after. Whether it's because of a lack of confidence, a genuine lack of skill/ability, moroseness, or just sudden good ol' disinterest, I have a really hard time sticking with anything.

With relationships, it was easy for me to connect with women once I stopped trying so hard. I initially fell into that Tom Leykis, aggressive douche PUA style of approaching women to mask my insecurity but I grew out of that and started having some decent connections with women. I'm not some smooth-talking Lothario or anything like that, I certainly struck out, and hilariously so (think Milhouse Van Houten), but just dropping the pretense and chilling the fuck out went a long way for me. That's where alcohol came into play, too.

Alcohol obscured things quite a bit. There are people I've known for years who never saw me sober, not even once, and they had no idea of my mental health struggles until my drinking problem really took off or I'd explicitly addressed them. Earlier on though, aside from a few times when I went way overboard, I was a fairly jovial and affable drunk capable of holding an audience. My inhibition, fear, and anxiety chilled out just long enough for me to be "normal." And that's not just some Homer Simpson, "Well, the evening began at the Gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon."

I actually had friends and a crush compliment my social prowess when they had no clue just how drunk I was. The latter conversation was a big part of why I got addicted to alcohol. That basically erased the belief I had that sober me could hack it in the social arena; I've met just about every partner I've had at a party or in a bar, where I was in my element. I'd increasingly relied on alcohol and my problem got way worse and that made everything worse, including relationships.

Even aside from the pandemic, I wouldn't have dated anyone because I don't know how to be that person without alcohol. I'm almost two years sober and anxious to find out but I don't have that crutch anymore and I find myself wanting to dismiss it offhand. I'm tired of jerking it though and I feel like I've made enough strides to get out there and see what's what.

But yeah, it has very much been an ebb and flow thing. That's part of why I had the bipolar II misdiagnosis. I've never been manic but I have been seriously depressed for months or even a year at a time broken up by an occasional burst of confidence and desire to be normal, though it usually fizzled out not long after, which looked like hypomania. There were some low lows but also some high highs from that. If I had constantly been at the lows I would have definitely killed myself (not to mods, all is well. I'm not suicidal).

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TheLiarParadox posted...

I'm almost two years sober

Majority voting they are correct.

I watched two episodes last night. Gonna watch more today

man that was some testimonial he unleashed (to liarparadox)

anyways, back to the show. i always thought it was funny that in s13e1 mac basically takes off his shirt and flexes and no one managed to look the slightest bit impressed at all. could just be a meta statement about how men also crave validations sometimes through their body conditions.

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wishseeker234 posted...

anyways, back to the show. i always thought it was funny that in s13e1 mac basically takes off his shirt and flexes and no one managed to look the slightest bit impressed at all. could just be a meta statement about how men also crave validations sometimes through their body conditions.

I dont think it was supposed to be meta in any way. The joke was just Im (Rob) gonna get into incredible shape for this 3 second throwaway gag of nobody giving a shit about it.


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TheLiarParadox posted...

Even aside from the pandemic, I wouldn't have dated anyone because I don't know how to be that person without alcohol. I'm almost two years sober and anxious to find out but I don't have that crutch anymore and I find myself wanting to dismiss it offhand.

Hmm, that's tough. Sounds like you have to figure out how to not gaf whilst sober
Do you have any friends that you hang out with regularly? That's pretty important to staying mentally healthy imo, you gotta have that social practice or else you fall into a rut of boredom and eventually get down on yourself

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ZannoL posted...

I watched two episodes last night. Gonna watch more today

Enjoying it so far? Make a new topic for tracking

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