Current Events > Storytime! Superbowl 51:Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Do Whatever I Want

(+) Yeah! (+)

80/80
i'm tagging this as a live event because it was LIVE AS FUCK.

this is a true story and does not require embellishment. i posted it years ago on the sports social spinoff board and @Antifar can attest to such. i'm sharing it with you guys now, four years later in honor of the superbowl and that dickhead tom brady.

here's the story, i'm copy-pasting from the topic i made there four years ago which is now archived

pastes and picture links incoming

---

This is a story about how my brother and I went to the greatest Superbowl in NFL history, witnessed the greatest comeback in Superbowl history by the greatest Quarterback in NFL history and turned a field-access pass into a once-in-a-lifetime locker room access pass with the right attitude, touch of anonymity and a large set of balls.

I found out about five days before the game that Id be going. My brother won through a pool thing at work and we got two tickets along with Stadium Club access. We got a parking pass and full VIP experience rolled into the package. We arrived at NRG at about 11:00 on Superbowl morning. Parking was easy as could be, we got out and cracked beers. We were instantly accosted by a bunch of random people who came unprepared trying to bum/buy beers off us. In Texas, you cant buy until noon on Saturday because reasons. We ended up selling one beer to a guy because he needed something to take his medicine with. It was a good start to the day.

Doors opened up at 1 for the whole NFL Gameday Experience thing they had set up in the massive pavilions around the stadium. We milled around a bit, watched some people doing random games and shit and saw Deion Sanders hanging out with Zac Brown (of Zac Brown Band fame?) and Steve Mariucci filming some segment that involved trying to sell wine.

At 1:30 our VIP pre-game party started, which is what the Stadium Club access thing was, in part. We made our way through a bunch of random nonsense where none of the stewards knew what was happening so we got an interesting tour of the backstages of NRG stadium. We showed up at the party eventually and it was swanky as fuck. Prime rib and roast and beef tips that gave you mad bubble guts, as far as the eye could see. Total open bar, so I got smashed as fuck. Every 15-20 minutes theyd march out an NFL legend or HOFer or SB champ to come out and talk some.

---

Heres a pic of the VIP pass thing:
http://imgur.com/YLKRdCy

Heres a parade of the people at the party (none of these pictures are zoomed):
Deion was first
http://imgur.com/qPKGEL5 (click to expand)

Ogden spoke a little
http://imgur.com/5J0ON4B

John Randle came up but I forgot to take a pic and no one really gave a shit about him.

Emanuel Sanders came up and represented the younger generation. Didnt get a pic of him on stage but heres his SB ring up close and personal
http://imgur.com/Mf7NRoX

He was a really cool guy and my brother-in-law played college ball with him at SMU so I name dropped and we bullshit a bit. His agent was decent enough too. I poked to him SoDrew Rosenhausrole model or asshole? He was asshole hands down and said no one likes the guy (obvious) including the players he represents. Everyone hates him obviously, was great confirmation.

Jerry Rice came up and did some dancing and general shit talking
http://imgur.com/scZu3GJ

Marcus Allen was the last guy up and he introduced special guests Lady Antebellum
http://imgur.com/17YEmUm

Heres Lady Antebellum if anyone gives a shitI didnt and used it as a great opportunity to take a piss after photo-oping.
http://imgur.com/hyB5Jai

---

The game was started after this so we headed to our seats. We were seated in Section 334 in the corner near the Pats endzone. Here the view from our seat for perspective.
http://imgur.com/8reWUjU

Heres a pic of halftime show because sparkly.
http://imgur.com/3LLpJWG

The game itself was rocky. The Pats fans were absolutely deflated in the first half and the Falcons fans were rising the fuck up all over the stadium. As soon as the comeback started and the game tied up at 28 the stadium was just bonkers after that. Easily the loudest venue Ive ever been inside for anything. Basically felt like the game turned into a Pats home game. So yeah shit was historic and all that stuff.

When the game ended, our Stadium Access pass granted us the chance to go onto the field for 90ish minutes following the game. We went through the tunnel and onto the field and the confetti party. The field was gated into different partitions so we couldnt really roll up on the players and their celebration, it was sectioned off.
http://i.imgur.com/AZwzY3Z.jpg
http://imgur.com/sO22CWf
http://imgur.com/hwvpzHE
http://i.imgur.com/JxPfN7n.jpg

---

THIS IS WHERE THE SHIT GETS GOOD
When we were done milling around the field, we went back up into the tunnel and there was a fork in the road. Everyone was going left and I told my brother that we were going to go right at see where it takes us. So we do and no one stops us. We wander down the concrete tunnel in the backstage area a bit not really sure where its going and all of a sudden a golf cart comes bombing by and Matt Ryan is sitting on the back looking pissed. They stopped in front of a room ahead of us and he hopped out and went inside. We kept walking past that room. As we turned a winding corner, I saw a shit ton of random dudes standing backtowall waiting around. They were clearly all press and it dawned on me that we were outside of the Pats locker room and this was all press waiting to get in to do locker room interviews. I told my brother to post up and look like we belong, so we did. We clearly did not belong as were each holding big ass yellow bags like Superbowl tourists, but everyone was so busy that no one really noticed. My brother started getting antsy because we were standing around for like ten minutes with nothing happening but I cooled him out and hoped it would be worthwhile. Then a head poked out of the room and said 5 more minutes and people perked up. Five minutes later, they opened the door and media started flooding into the room. There was a huge laminated sign next to the door that showed the appropriate passes that were to be granted locker room access and there were like 20-30 of them. Ours was not depicted. We mixed into the crowd and basically just kept our heads down and had lanyards onso they let us in. What followed was absolute madness. My brother and I stood around in the locker room with all the media types and the guys who just had the most epic comeback in one of the most epic championship games in history. The press, the team and me and my brother. There were no other fans in there. It was likesleight of hand. We were there and we did not belong and no one noticed and no one said a thing. Here are pictures in a random lump sumnone of these are zoomed in. I was literally right next to Brady and Kraft when I took those. I later see thats when theyre discussing the missing jersey. But Kraft was basically whispering to everyone so I couldnt hear anything the weird little fella was saying.

---

http://imgur.com/9XeYtyN
http://imgur.com/qHiiiMj
http://imgur.com/UdFP7qJ
http://imgur.com/wX8J6Wq
http://imgur.com/E0iRciv
http://imgur.com/VS2anCd
http://imgur.com/qrtHHoz
http://imgur.com/vE8lOu0
http://imgur.com/WDnWk1p
http://imgur.com/zl2mD9B
http://imgur.com/7Sr7vyT
http://imgur.com/WiEktYB

Peek the bottom right corner of this pic: https://twitter.com/DanHanzus?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Thats my brother standing with his big yellow tourist bag.

http://nesn.com/2017/02/someone-stole-tom-bradys-super-bowl-li-white-patriots-jersey/
The video in the center of page via @NFL/@danhanzus shows is in a quick blur. Look for the goofy tourist bags.

---

I saw a lot of random asses. My brother went to take a piss in the lockers and when he came out he was face to chest with Brady in a towel who said, and I quote Manthat was awesome. Hard to tell if he was talking about the shower or the game.

At one point were standing there taking it all in next to the laundry/equip manager stuff. I peek at the jerseys and tell my brother that we need to snag one. Then I hear the equipment manager having a conversation with one of the guys about the jerseys and theyre obviously important and tightly monitored (as evidenced by Brady). Instead, we look down and snag a red glove out of the laundry.

http://imgur.com/imsgkfg
My brother thinks it may belong to Edelman, but theres really no way to know.
http://imgur.com/8cTMVDW

If you look close enough you may be able to see some dried knuckle blood on the glove.

We hung around in the locker room for about 45 minutes, totally undisturbed and unquestioned. My brother pat every dude he could on the back and told everyone congratulations like six times, so he was clearly not press/media. When we finally decided to leave, we bumped into Hal Wingo (his badge said Hal but it was definitely trey Wingo so I was confused and he looked a bit different than tv) and John Clayton.

We left the room, wandering back down the wrong way and dipped out into the night.

As we approached my car it was the only one around for a good radius, everyone had left the game hours ago but we did the field thing then the lockerroom thing and it was late. However, next to my car was like this derelict tailgating spot that some dudes had left with a bunch of camping chairs and beer and chips and all kinds of shit. There was no one around, so we started packing that up too until four dudes in Pats jerseys yelled at us that it was their spot. But they were so hyped and wasted that they made us take all the shit anyway so i got like six chairs and a bunch of tostitos too.

Then we went home.

---

sorry some of the links aren't in tip top since this was pasted from four years ago
however, you can see us in this picture on some forrest gump shit
https://www.bostonglobe.com/opinion/editorials/2017/02/06/thank-you-patriots/zQUEfRqEl7bNcUEXRL4lcJ/story.html

that picture ran on the cover of the boston globe

---

supervowl

---

Wat

---

I can, in fact, attest to such

---

As a Falcons fan, it still hurts.

I knew that whenever they flashed the stat of "Matt Ryan 158.3 Perfect Passer Rating through the game(midwayish 3rd quarter at that point)" that something was going to go wrong. <_<

---

It was glorious, truly

---

tim brady!

---

last chance boys

---