Current Events > Would I be an a****** in this situation?

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Backstory: I live with 2 brothers, both younger. We're all in our mid to late 20s, and I cook for everyone every day. One brother cleans up after the meal and the other goes to school so we don't really ask him to do anything.

I've been cleaning the whole apartment lately and asked my brother who isn't in school if he can help. He agreed. Then nothing. I keep cleaning the apartment, and asked him 2 more times. Still nothing. It's getting to the point where I feel used and taken advantage of, because he knows I'm going to keep cleaning anyway. We used to do this **** to our dad growing up, where we would do anything to get out of chores and basically just never do them even when he asked, and he's treating me the same way.

So if I cook for my brother who goes to school, but don't cook for that brother, because he didn't do what he said he would, would that make me an a******? Is there a better way of handling it?

It's a lose lose for me because either I make peace with the fact that I'm going to be the only one cleaning and then I have to do it all myself, or I ask my brother to help and now it's a big argument/hassle to get him to help anyway, and now I look like an a****** when I get mad at him for not helping.

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no, that is the reasonable thing to do assuming you warn him. dont just randomly not cook for him one day, that would be a dick move. but if you tell him in advance then its fair

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Ryuko_Chan posted...

no, that is the reasonable thing to do assuming you warn him. dont just randomly not cook for him one day, that would be a dick move. but if you tell him in advance then its fair

How would you word it? I don't wanna sound mean, or like I'm forcing him to do something. But I also want him to take responsibility for the apartment we both lease together, and for cleaning when he said he would.

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Try approaching him with the question, "yo, is it reasonable for me to ask you to help me with cleaning the house?". That's all I got for now

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Solo_Wing posted...

Try approaching him with the question, "yo, is it reasonable for me to ask you to help me with cleaning the house?". That's all I got for now

I did that basically, and he agreed. Then I followed up 2-3 more times and it just seems like he's placating me. I feel manipulated

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Depends on who is buying what in the house. If it's evenly split then yeah quit feedin his ass lol

you're also going to have to do more in order to get him to do things. I told my gf I like a list; if you give me a list I'll do it. If you expect me to just go around looking for things to clean it's not going to get done.

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Had a similar issue with my roommates (different because it was more they couldnt be bothered to offer suggestions for food, and I got annoyed having to do all the meal planning, cooking, etc..).

Just tell him straight up: "Pull your own weight. If you cant be bothered to do simple cleaning I can't be bothered to be your chef. Help clean at least half the house, or I'm not cooking for you anymore and you can do it yourself."

Worst thing is he'll stop doing the dishes to "teach you a lesson" in which case make arrangements for you and School-Bro to move elsewhere and leave him with a nasty house and no cook.

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Im reading this and you sound so lazy, you are the big brother. Act like it

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ncsonic posted...

Im reading this and you sound so lazy, you are the big brother. Act like it

...wat

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ncsonic posted...

Im reading this and you sound so lazy, you are the big brother. Act like it

I think youre trolling, but incase youre not, Im not lazy. I do almost all of the cleaning.

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