Current Events > It's possible to have close friends of the opposite gender.

(+) Yeah! (+)

or anyone who may align with your preferences/attractions without it being anything more than friendship.

You can be friends with someone without wanting to fuck them/wanting more.

Discuss.

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Are you a girl? We could form an alliance

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Totally. I have plenty of friends of varying gender identity that I have zero interest in banging.

there is like one I have zero romantic interest in, but would gladly fuck though.

R1masher posted...

Are you a girl? We could form an alliance

I am a dude, but always open to alliance negotiations. I'll have my ambassador call you ambassador?
_Rinku_ posted...

Totally. I have plenty of friends of varying gender identity that I have zero interest in banging.

there is like one I have zero romantic interest in, but would gladly fuck though.

I get that.


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I think it's generally better to have friends of the same sex.

coh posted...

I think it's generally better to have friends of the same sex.

Why?

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Anyone who says otherwise is either super sheltered or has seriously fucked up notions of gender.

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it's more likely to work out if you have your needs met by someone else or there will be a tendency to want them and vice versa. else, how do you decide whom should be a friemd and whom should be a romantic interest?

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meestermj posted...

Why?

Because you can relate to them better. And with opposite sex friends there's always the possibility you develop romantic feelings which will complicate the friendship

ASithLord7 posted...

Anyone who says otherwise is either super sheltered or has seriously fucked up notions of gender.

Or controlling, or toxic ideas about masculinity.

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berlyman101 posted...

how do you decide whom should be a friemd and whom should be a romantic interest?

ASithLord7 posted...

super sheltered or has seriously fucked up notions of gender.

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meestermj posted...

Or controlling, or toxic ideas about masculinity.

p much, though I think the latter falls under fucked up gender notions

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coh posted...

Because you can relate to them better. And with opposite sex friends there's always the possibility you develop romantic feelings which will complicate the friendship

So you don't value women outside of their romantic prospects?

berlyman101 posted...

it's more likely to work out if you have your needs met by someone else or there will be a tendency to want them and vice versa. else, how do you decide whom should be a friemd and whom should be a romantic interest?

Not everyone wants to fuck their friends, regardless of relationship status.

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ASithLord7 posted...

Anyone who says otherwise is either super sheltered or has seriously fucked up notions of gender.

I don't get it. are you saying that I have fucked up notions of gender?

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meestermj posted...

You can be friends with someone without wanting to f*** them

I'd very much like to fuck all my female friends. True I'm not hoping and wishing for it and it'd be really pathetic if that was the only reason I was friends with them, but I genuinely don't believe this.

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berlyman101 posted...

I don't get it. are you saying that I have fucked up notions of gender?

Pretty blatantly yes.

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Also what the fuck @ "decide who is a romantic interest." Romantic interest is something that just happens, not a category you put people into.

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dave_is_slick posted...

I'd very much like to fuck all my female friends. True I'm not hoping and wishing for it and it'd be really pathetic if that was the only reason I was friends with them, but I genuinely don't believe this.

What's it like not being able to form healthy emotional bonds?

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ASithLord7 posted...

Pretty blatantly yes.

why? where do you draw the line?

I'm assuming that one or both people have some attractive qualities. I suppose two wholly unattractive people could be friends without either side developing an inkling of attraction toward one another. there's nothing I can see that's fucked up about either or both of two people of the opposite sex becoming attracted to the over time.

You can live with that without acting on it but that sort of implies you'd like to fuck them, all else equal.

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meestermj posted...

What's it like not being able to form healthy emotional bonds?

I wouldn't know, why do you think I would?

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berlyman101 posted...

why? where do you draw the line?

I'm assuming that one or both people have some attractive qualities. I suppose two wholly unattractive people could be friends without either side developing an inkling of attraction toward one another. there's nothing I can see that's fucked up about either or both of two people of the opposite sex becoming attracted to the over time.

You can live with that without acting on it but that sort of implies you'd like to fuck them, all else equal.

Attraction is subjective.
Let me repeat that in case you didn't hear it the first time.
Attraction is subjective.
What that means is there is no absolute when it comes to attractiveness. Everyone has their own concepts of what is and isn't attractive.
Friendship does not have a single damn thing to do with attractiveness. Romantic interest, friendship, and sexual attraction are three separate categories. Not different branches on the same tree.

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But why do they always have to be ugly butt slappers?

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The difference is guys would probably have sex with most of their female friends if given the opportunity and granted it wouldn't ruin a different friendship. Most women would probably only do that for a small amount of their guy friends

coh posted...

Because you can relate to them better. And with opposite sex friends there's always the possibility you develop romantic feelings which will complicate the friendship

what a very cishet way of thinking

dave_is_slick posted...

I genuinely don't believe this.

yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes yi

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meestermj posted...

Attraction is subjective.
Let me repeat that in case you didn't hear it the first time.
Attraction is subjective.
What that means is there is no absolute when it comes to attractiveness. Everyone has their own concepts of what is and isn't attractive.
Friendship does not have a single damn thing to do with attractiveness. Romantic interest, friendship, and sexual attraction are three separate categories. Not different branches on the same tree.

The way you explain it seems like.a "capital F" Friendship that is untarnished by outside factors. In certain situations that can happen but I would feel fake acting as if I'm not a sexual being for the sake of a friendship. I also disagree that all of those things are separate. Ideally friendship, romance, and sex would come from the same person. Attraction plays a factor in everything, like it or not. We can isolate these factors in different contrived activities but the imbalance and toxic manifestation of sex in environments that are not supposed to be sexual is a hot topic.

Also, why are you condescending? Cut that shit out.

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berlyman101 posted...

The way you explain it seems like.a "capital F" Friendship that is untarnished by outside factors. In certain situations that can happen but I would feel fake acting as if I'm not a sexual being for the sake of a friendship. I also disagree that all of those things are separate. Ideally friendship, romance, and sex would come from the same person. Attraction plays a factor in everything, like it or not. We can isolate these factors in different contrived activities but the imbalance and toxic manifestation of sex in environments that are not supposed to be sexual is a hot topic.

Also, why are you condescending? Cut that shit out.

I'm condescending because your view points are outdated and toxic.

Ideally friendship, romance, and sex would come from the same person.

Incredibly heteronormative. What about asexuals? Are they not "ideal" ?

And disagreeing that they're separate? Wow.
It is possible to have a friend with no romantic or sexual interest.
It is possible to have sexual interest without romantic or friendship interest.
It is possible to be romantic and not want sex or friendship.
And everything in between.
To say that it's impossible to be friends without wanting either sex or romance is just disgusting.

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You came to pick a fight and I clearly missed that earlier, so have fun.

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berlyman101 posted...

You came to pick a fight and I clearly missed that earlier, so have fun.

I made a statement. Stating truth is not picking a fight.
Your views are outdated. Sex is not the ideal.
Not being able to separate sex, romance, and friendship says so much about you.
Grow as a person then come back.

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meestermj posted...

Attraction is subjective.
Let me repeat that in case you didn't hear it the first time.
Attraction is subjective.
What that means is there is no absolute when it comes to attractiveness. Everyone has their own concepts of what is and isn't attractive.
Friendship does not have a single damn thing to do with attractiveness. Romantic interest, friendship, and sexual attraction are three separate categories. Not different branches on the same tree.

Saying "friendship has nothing to do with attractiveness" sounds like an absolute and a pretty stupid one at that.

I have one "friend" who I find utterly repulsive. I have another friend who I find attractive because we're friends; another who I can't even make myself be attracted to because we're friends. It's different for everyone.

_Rinku_ posted...

Saying "friendship has nothing to do with attractiveness" sounds like an absolute and a pretty stupid one at that.

I have one "friend" who I find utterly repulsive. I have another friend who I find attractive because we're friends; another who I can't even make myself be attracted to because we're friends. It's different for everyone.

Attraction is an entirely separate metric from friendship.
Can you be attracted to someone who isn't a friend? Absolutely.
Can you be friends with someone who you don't find attractive? 100%

Just because they can mesh with each other doesn't mean that Friendship = Attraction.

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I think its quite different for men, than it is for women. As a man, I can tell you that 99% of girls Ive been friends with, all have an attractive quality to them that is easily recognizable for me. Meaning that, given the chance, had some sort of sexual attraction been reciprocated at any given time, pretty much every girl Ive ever been friends with, I would have slept withgiven the chance.

However, I tend to build my romantic and sexual relationships beginning with friendship, as that is the key to a long lasting and healthy relationship with a partner. So, for me, they go hand in hand.

That being said, if Im in a relationship, I tend to cut ties and/or slow down my friendships with other females. Not only that, but once Im in a relationship, Im locked in until its doneIve never cheated on a woman Ive dated.

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N3xtG3nGam3r posted...

Meaning that, given the chance, had some sort of sexual attraction been reciprocated at any given time, pretty much every girl Ive ever been friends with, I would have slept withgiven the chance.

That is absolutely disgusting.
How can you possibly not see a problem with that view point?

N3xtG3nGam3r posted...

That being said, if Im in a relationship, I tend to cut ties and/or slow down my friendships with other females.

So in your view point, once you have a romantic partner, all of your female friends lose value? They mean less to you, and are less important, because you now have a partner?

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meestermj posted...

That is absolutely disgusting.
How can you possibly not see a problem with that view point?

Ok, youre entitled to your opinion. Its the way were designed...
meestermj posted...

So in your view point, once you have a romantic partner, all of your female friends lose value? They mean less to you, and are less important, because you now have a partner?

Men mean nothing to women unless they can provide something for them that they deem essential to their status in the social hierarchy. They dont hang out with you if youre a loser. Thats just how things are. Its not something anyone should take personally. If I want a true friendship, I develop one with another male, or I develop one with a female that I would be interested in having a relationship with. Developing close relationships with females who are in a relationship with another male is dangerous for multiple reasons, due to the nature of the natural relationship between men and women. This works the same way basically for females, except in the situation where they become best friends with a male, its because they can garner all the benefits of being in a relationship, minus actually having to give anything in returnaka, they take advantage of the male.

I feel bad you lack a general understanding of how actual chemistry between men and women work, and our natural tendencies as humans...


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Lmao...just read the topic, the whole topic.

ITT: TC tries to justify why women have no interest in him/her.

Your views are outdated and toxic because I read a book that said gender is a social construct reeeeeeeeeeeee. LOL.

You clearly do do a lot of reading, and dont do a lot of relationshiping. One is based on the real world, and one is based on a fantasy youve dreamt up, of a society you wish existed, that definitely doesnt.

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N3xtG3nGam3r posted...

Men mean nothing to women unless they can provide something for them that they deem essential to their status in the social hierarchy

read that on on r/incels, eh?

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I think I have more female friends than male friends and my girlfriend gets along with all of my female friends too. Shit is cool.
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meestermj posted...

That is absolutely disgusting.
How can you possibly not see a problem with that view point?

So in your view point, once you have a romantic partner, all of your female friends lose value? They mean less to you, and are less important, because you now have a partner?

Trust me mate, regarding the second point girls do that too. You literally just have less time for platonic friends in general once you're in a relationship though

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haloiscoolisbak posted...

Trust me mate, regarding the second point girls do that too. You literally just have less time for platonic friends in general once you're in a relationship though

Having less time and cutting ties are VERY different

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meestermj posted...

or anyone who may align with your preferences/attractions without it being anything more than friendship.

You can be friends with someone without wanting to fuck them/wanting more.

Discuss.

Obvious truth. It's strange when people expect their SOs to drop all their friends of the preferred gender(s)

I'm bi, am I supposed to lose all my friends? I can think of only one "friend" I'd lose if they dared push me to do this.

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Bunch of friendzoned users itt
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