Current Events > How do you stop feeling worthless?

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I cant hold onto anything good in my life. I somehow always either fuck it up, or it turns out I faked my way into it and wasnt good enough to make it.

Every attempt to better myself and my situation ends the same way.

the people around me are too attached to some nostalgic and idealized version of me they have in their head that they wont admit they only love me out of habit. Without that fake image Id be totally contemptible and their misguided love just makes me feel like shit, so I distance myself from them since it ends up being less painful

theres this sucking pain in my chest that physically hurts me, like its pulling all the energy into a black hole.

i feel too stupid to change. I know where I need to make changes but the path forward is completely opaque. No amount of google searching or bugging others for ideas presents a solution that I can use. I either am flatly inelligible or do not have the resources to pursue it. And the only way to procure those resources is to better my life. Its an impossible catch-22.

i just want to fall asleep and not wake up. Im tired of all these stupid people trying to convince me of how much they like me. Theyre trying to keep me here because they think my disappearance would make them suffer. Because theyd feel guilty if I went through with it and they didnt do everything and say everything on societys unwritten checklist of platitudes. If you tell someone you love them enough times, it means its not your fault and dont have to feel bad

not that I would do anything like that, mind you. This stupid ass topic is just venting because tbh I need to. I dont have any constructive way of addressing these issues in real life so I just spit it into the void of Internet garbage where itll float for a few days before disappearing forever.

Volunteer

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I'd recommend this class.

https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being

Also, if you don't have an exercise routine, I recommend you start one. It does wonders for the mind and body.

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Have you tried being a GameFAQs moderator?

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Be yourself and stop being around fakes and trying to be like what mainstream media shoves down your throat. TV only shows you a glimpse and a lot of it is fake ass shit.

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It's honestly as easy as doing the things you like and having a good support system.

Taking care of your health helps too. You sound a bit depressed. How are your eating patterns and your physical health? You might want to download this app called "youper" it's been really helpful for me to get my mental health in order. You might also want to try prayer, church and meditation. Try it all, see which one you like the most. You can also try Journaling daily, and going on hikes in nature. Hope you get better brother.

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It isn't that you have to change, only your understanding of yourself.

If you're looking for ideas, I found reading the book "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius to be biggest impact in my adult life on improving my understanding of the truth in a positive sense (being happy with myself, my place in the world, and the people around me)

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Milk_8D posted...

theres this sucking pain in my chest that physically hurts me, like its pulling all the energy into a black hole.

Is this new or have you been experiencing this for a while? You're aware that this is a symptom of covid right.

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Eventually you just get used to it.

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you don't, you live with it like everyone else

I can connect with the idealized version of me part.

People are always so excited to see me if I haven't seen them in awhile. I can never understand it or get why.

I always wonder if they are faking it or if they have some weird version of me in my head. I asked my ex and my family about it a couple times, the only people I felt comfortable being open about it with.

Their answers just confused me.

As to the sucking hole in your chest, I had that a couple years ago. After that ex I was with for ten years and I broke up. Every day just felt meaningless, and all my energy just vanished, drained away into that pit. It really did feel like a sucking void in my chest. It went away eventually, but it took almost two years. The situation I was in health wise just kept perpetuating the feeling.

I don't really have a lot of useful tips or advice. I just read a lot of books, and played a lot of games to pass the time. The books helped more, it was rare to find a game I found engaging. Hell, I don't know what to say. Most everything people said to me just seemed like bullshit and didn't really help, and I had a good therapist even. Just being around friendly people that had a good outlook on life was probably helpful.

I went to AA and NA groups and the people there were very nice and helped me. Generally not useful advice for most people, I know. It's hard to find groups like that in normal life. Hell, on that note, the guys advice about church might not be a bad idea. If it's not one of the big organized denominations where everything is by rote. Not for the religion really, but just for the people. I remember my church as a kid being like that.

That ended up being pretty long, and I don't know if it was worth much. I hope you feel better even if it takes time.

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