Current Events > I've got this sneaking suspicion I'm gonna get stood up today

(+) Yeah! (+)

Feels anxious man

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I fucking knew it.
This is a first. Now to wait for the apology text at like 8 am tomorrow about how she forgot and her phone has been off since Friday.

Fuck me. Guess I'll reinstall tinder.

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100% method to prevent a girl from flaking on you.

Send her this text when you make first date plans:

"So you're not like one of those girls who flakes on dates, are you?"

Call her out on this with a bit of a tease early on. She will now have to respond by either blocking you (in which case, good riddance), or not flaking on you because you've shifted the responsibility onto her. She will also be stunned because no guy has ever said that to her.

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I asked for her number in person and she put it in my phone and has responded to me. I asked her out face to face.

Whatever man.

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How long have you been in the prone position?

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AdrianBeterson posted...

100% method to prevent a girl from flaking on you.

Send her this text when you make first date plans:

"So you're not like one of those girls who flakes on dates, are you?"

Call her out on this with a bit of a tease early on. She will now have to respond by either blocking you (in which case, good riddance), or not flaking on you because you've shifted the responsibility onto her. She will also be stunned because no guy has ever said that to her.

Lmao what terrible advice. All youre doing is subcommunicating insecurity and implying you've been flaked on a lot

This is why it cracks me up when this board thinks it gives good dating advice
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MrResetti posted...

I asked for her number in person and she put it in my phone and has responded to me. I asked her out face to face.

Whatever man.

Well maybe she has a real reason? Doesn't hurt to give her the benefit of the doubt one time.

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R1masher posted...

How long have you been in the prone position?

I'd never take it on my stomach

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No_U_L7 posted...

Lmao what terrible advice. All youre doing is subcommunicating insecurity and implying you've been flaked on a lot

This is why it cracks me up when this board thinks it gives good dating advice

That's never happened in my experience, in fact I've never been flaked on whenever I sent that text.

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AdrianBeterson posted...

Well maybe she has a real reason? Doesn't hurt to give her the benefit of the doubt one time.

Homie don't play that

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AdrianBeterson posted...

That's never happened in my experience, in fact I've never been flaked on whenever I sent that text.

Theres no discernible correlation though. All I'm saying is that in a vacuum that is a terrible text to send. As a dating coach I would never advocate sending that text, it will hurt someone's chances way more than help
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MrResetti posted...

Homie don't play that

Lol it's up to you but I personally would give her the benefit of the doubt one time. If it happens again then yeah, delete and move on. Whatever date plan you make keep it simple

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No_U_L7 posted...

Theres no discernible correlation though. All I'm saying is that in a vacuum that is a terrible text to send. As a dating coach I would never advocate sending that text, it will hurt someone's chances way more than help

Given that it has always worked, I will stick with what works over a dating coaches advice. No offense.

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To be fair that text could come off as you having been flaked on before. I don't think I'd send it.

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MrResetti posted...

To be fair that text could come off as you having been flaked on before. I don't think I'd send it.

Who hasn't been flaked before?

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Me until today

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MrResetti posted...

Me until today

Point being, it's not being insecure when you want to make a point. You can either choose to protect your ego or avoid getting flaked on. You guys over complicate the simplest things way too much. Just communicate your wants in a playful, respectful way.

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AdrianBeterson posted...

Given that it has always worked, I will stick with what works over a dating coaches advice. No offense.

This is exactly what I mean. You can't prove a negative. To take it to the extreme, thats like saying to a girl "you're not one of those serial killer girls thats gonna kill me?" And being happy that no girl has ever killed you yet. Thats simply not how correlation and causation works, its specious reasoning

And not to mention you probably don't have a decent enough sample size. Not meant as an insult, but let's assume this worked for you 20 times...thats still a very small sample

And then guys get stuck in their ways without understanding the methodology behind it, recommend it to others and that perpetuates the cycle

For the record, im not trying to tell you what to do. I'm saying you shouldn't give advice like that to other people without understanding the methodology behind it

When I offer advice as a dating expert, its because I understand the methodology and have a massive sample size
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My persona as a virile playboy with infinite options is all I have right now.

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No_U_L7 posted...

This is exactly what I mean. You can't prove a negative. To take it to the extreme, thats like saying to a girl "you're not one of those serial killer girls thats gonna kill me?" And being happy that no girl has ever killed you yet. Thats simply not how correlation and causation works, its specious reasoning

And not to mention you probably don't have a decent enough sample size. Not meant as an insult, but let's assume this worked for you 20 times...thats still a very small sample

And then guys get stuck in their ways without understanding the methodology behind it, recommend it to others and that perpetuates the cycle

For the record, im not trying to tell you what to do. I'm saying you shouldn't give advice like that to other people without understanding the methodology behind it

When I offer advice as a dating expert, its because I understand the methodology and have a massive sample size

You can't exactly prove your point either. Unless you have a literature source behind your methodology?

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

@
LOL somebody been watching too much AMS

AMS?

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AdrianBeterson posted...

Point being, it's not being insecure when you want to make a point. You can either choose to protect your ego or avoid getting flaked on. You guys over complicate the simplest things way too much. Just communicate your wants in a playful, respectful way.

Don't think those 2 are the proper choices in this scenario

@MrResetti you are treating getting flaked on as too big of a deal. Learn to not attach your ego to how others, especially girls think of you. Especially especially people that don't know you

Learn to realize that if she's that much of a dunce, she's the one missing out
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MrResetti posted...

My persona as a virile playboy with infinite options is all I have right now.

If you really were a virile playboy with infinite options, you wouldn't care if one girl flaked on you right? So start thinking/acting like a virile playboy you want to be
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Gee thanks

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AdrianBeterson posted...

You can't exactly prove your point either. Unless you have a literature source behind your methodology?

Again, that's the thing about correlation, you can't prove a negative. You literally can't prove a negative, which is why I'm saying you shouldn't provide advice without being able to prove the positive. That is exactly what specious reasoning is...you have no clue if the reason the girls didn't flake are because of that text

For the record, that text is something I have tested myself as its an interesting theory. I tried it 5 times and girls flaked 3/5. I had to really sit down and dissect the sub communication of the text to determine if it was worth sending still...it isnt

My findings are not based off scientific literature lmao. It comes from reading the findings of other dating coaches, and then applying it to my own experiences and verifying what is and isn't true, then refining the findings

Theres no degrees or certifications for dating, just in depth and massive experience. I undoubtedly have that, and imo if you dont you should refrain from giving what could be harmful advice

You would be amazed how terrible the advice I see on this board is. I've seen some self proclaimed chads say you should still wait 3 days to call a girl. I've seen guys who married the first girl that would talk to them think they were players because they got married and think the one thing they tried one time that worked make them experts
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Im not a chump. I know the ball is in her court now. I'm just pissed because it's a first for me. Also it's the first time I've asked a girl out since I split with my fiancee so it makes me feel a little shittier than if I'd just been playing the field for a while.


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It was verbally agreed upon.

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Absolutely fucking not do not send her any text. She flaked on you, no call no text. Absolute disrespect to you and your time. You should not reach out to her in the slightest. If it was an accident, it is on her to apologize and make something happen and shes gotta do extra for wasting your time. Ive been no showed no called twice on tinder, both times I didnt send any follow up. If someone does that, I just next them. One girl never followed up and the other girl reached out and said she forgot and asked to meet up in the city. I said nah, I dont feel like going out, you come over and well watch a movie. She came over and I had to do zero work. Do not go out trying to do 50/50 with anyone that flakes on you at the last second or stands you up. They have to put in the extra work.

Dont ever listen to anyone who tells you to reach out to someone who flaked or stood you up. Its downright pathetic.

I am totally okay with this stance.

Thing is...i feel like it's still somewhat attached to ego, "she OWES ME an apology"

While she kinda does...

Once you've completely detached from ego and have obtained 100% inner confidence...getting flaked on is such a small deal I dont mind a text to take the higher road

I sometimes mix in a text like "hey, sorry we must have gotten our wires crossed tonight, tends to happen on full moons! Maybe another time"

I swap out the full moon for whatever bullshit excuse-big holidays, etc

The reason I send this text: its extremely difficult for girls to admit they're wrong and apologize. By taking the higher road and making it MUCH easier on her by making an excuse for her, she's much more likely to respond and come back around

When I wait for an apology, I may have gotten it once

When I send a text like above, about 20% of girls end up replying and going out with me

So its a +ev move, just gotta have no ego to pull it off
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MrResetti posted...

It was verbally agreed upon.

You didnt confirm the date beforehand?! Alway text day before and day of
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You know, people talk about the death of their ego correlating with consuming modest amounts of hallucinogenic substances

I'm here to tell you I've closed my eyes and had celestial beings engulfed in TV static scream at me in a foreign language telling me I'm fucking up my life and not once did I drop my sarcastic asshole demeanor to all my friends around who got to witness me take too much.

There's no way you can just get rid of your ego and just not care about what anyone thinks of you without some sort of training. And I don't want it.

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No_U_L7 posted...

You didnt confirm the date beforehand?! Alway text day before and day of

I texted her at midnight last night and got nothing which is why I even made this topic. I waited til one o'clock to send an innocuous text about something else thinking maybe she missed it. I got no reply to either.

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MrResetti posted...

There's no way you can just get rid of your ego and just not care about what anyone thinks of you without some sort of training. And I don't want it.

anything worth doing doesn't come easy

it's the same with girls.

1st girl you cold approach is scary af. 1,000th girl you could approach you don't even think about

1st time you get flaked on hurts. 100th time you get flaked on you don't even remember

1st supermodel you bang is a big deal. 10th super model you bang it's just another saturday

MrResetti posted...

I texted her at midnight last night and got nothing which is why I even made this topic. I waited til one o'clock to send an innocuous text about something else thinking maybe she missed it. I got no reply to either.

midnight is too late, you're not giving her a wide range enough of time to respond

she might already be asleep. if she's awake and sees it an hour later...now it's 1 am and it's an uncomfortable time to respond. try around 12-3pm

you actually hurt yourself because you forced yourself into an uncomfortable double text scenario. you have to double text, but it hurts your value to do so

this is why "game" is actually very important, you gotta understand these minutiae. yeah things probably changed a ton since your separation
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No u is more into the chase than the finish.

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Oh no.
She texted me back and wants to come over and I'm drunk -_-

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

You dont wait for an apology... you move on wtf. And talking to other girls while waiting to see if she is going to apologize isnt moving on. If someone wastes your time(the time I took to come out to the venue), and doesnt even have the nerve to get back to you, I dont care about taking the high road to come back. I wont take the low road and disrespect them back either but Im putting 0 effort after that point unless its a serious emergency.

Ive been flaked on the day of, which is a different story. I respond to that differently but 1 hour before the date to full on flaking no call, no text, gets no play from me. I dont want the girl to be some back up plan for me either or whatever. Im only engaging if it comes straight to me. Im putting my effort somewhere else.

No offense to you but I lose major interest after that. I like to date on my terms or 50/50 the least. Shes not doing that to a guy shes really into/respects. You following up and breaking that 50/50 plane only lowers your appeal imo

again, i'm 100% fine with that stance...but just reading your post it reeks of ego. not saying insane or unreasonable ego, but ego nonetheless. i don't even think in terms of "disrespect" any more. i honestly don't care. i care so little i don't care if i send that text or not. no matter what happens, it will not affect the way i think of myself or my self worth.

sometimes i send that text and forget i ever sent it. had a date where this exact scenario happened, i sent that text got no reply, then completely forgot about it. ran into her working at banana republic about a year later. we started talking and flirting in person. and after, i texted her and she apologized profusely and we ended up going out and she bought me dinner...and made it up to me in other ways

it's called the high road for a reason, you don't only take it when it's convenient. now i understand that may be a more advanced road of thinking and if new it may be better just to cut it off

MrResetti posted...

No u is more into the chase than the finish.

i'm more about running the correct, +ev, game. i leave feelings and emotions out of it (for the most part) and do what is more likely to get me results in the long term

jeffhardyb0yz posted...

The chase is lame if you have keep getting disrespected to actually get the girl. No thanks.

again, there you go with that word "disrespect". who cares? i'm 100% worth respect, but if a girl doesn't realize that, does it make me any less worthy of respect if i throw her a bone and give her a second chance? that's your ego talking, it really doesn't change anything either way. imo if anything it makes me a better person if im more willing to forgive.

MrResetti posted...

Oh no.
She texted me back and wants to come over and I'm drunk -_-

that kinda helps my point, if you (and everyone else) had a more healthy mind set with these things, things would work out much better for you in the long run

i'm not telling you guys to bend over backwards for her, i'm saying not to take it too personally either way (being overly offended like the TC or bitterly distancing to the extreme like jeff)
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Ha I'd be drunk by now either way, are you a life coach too?

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MrResetti posted...

Ha I'd be drunk by now either way, are you a life coach too?

not actually, i dabble in the field. was offered a job but declined it. i'm an engineer by day so i make way more doing way less. i use these dating techniques as a method to improve my personal life. it helps balance out my life as an engineer
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MrResetti posted...

Ha I'd be drunk by now either way, are you a life coach too?

nah he full-time posts made up stories on gfaqs

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MrResetti posted...

Oh no.
She texted me back and wants to come over and I'm drunk -_-

uber

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MrResetti posted...

Oh no.
She texted me back and wants to come over and I'm drunk -_-

keep it together and meet up with her. Window is going to close otherwise.