Current Events > CYOA: You are an inconditional MAGA supporter

(+) Yeah! (+)

Its June 18 and youre ready to get into your pickup truck and head to the Tulsa rally, which is happening the next day.

You stand up from your water mattress, feed some corn flakes to your fish and drink a Coca Cola and bite into a snickers bar.

you head towards the door, when you hear: arentcha forgetting something, Billy Bobby? Its Maw Maw Smith Smith III, your mom. She bites into her fried butter stick and then she tries to give you a face mask she made herself, embroidered with a confederate flag pattern with a MAGA acronym under each star.

you get pissed off. Only politically correct people wear face masks! There is a 1% death rate from COVID anyway!

What do you do?

A) refuse to take the mask - you are no limp wristed soy boy!
B) take the mask fully knowing you will throw it in the trash as soon as you see a trash can outside
C) take the mask - Dos Equis virus may be a hoax, but the confederate flag and MAGA stars in your mask will trigger some libs and minorities on the way

C

B

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Need one more vote for the tie breaker

cmon guys a is the only right answer here

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OffTempo posted...

cmon guys a is the only right answer here

Lol

A

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C

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B

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C
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A. Real men ain't afraid of no virus

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C

C Wins. Write up coming up

Aww, yeah! C was the best choice.

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C) take the mask - Dos Equis virus may be a hoax, but the confederate flag and MAGA stars in your mask will trigger some libs and minorities on the way

ah, mother Maw Maw, bless her heart. You take the mask from her hand and wear it. A distinct smell of ros wine and tobacco gives the mask character. Maybe this is not so bad after all.

you take one last swig at your can of malt liquor and head to your truck. One for the road, you tell to yourself, while taking the entire six pack.

you hop on your car and realize you are almost running on empty. You decide to head to the gas station. As youre filling up you get hungry and decide to go buy some beef jerky and one of those barely legal girls magazines that they have on the rack.

you stare at the magazines, but you get upset: many of these magazines have dem foreign girls in the cover! These are not real murrican girls! You get angry and remember your king-emperors words: we have to defend our heritage!. As you seethe, you hear the words can I help you sir?

the cashier is talking to you. He looks foreign too. He is a bad hombre! I bet he he put those girls in the magazine covers, you tell to yourself.

in that moment you realized: you have your MAGA confederate face mask in your pocket! Now you get it. This mask will be like your superhero costume. When you wear it you represent truth, justice and the American way!

So so you put your mask on and head towards the cashier, porn mag and Tabasco flavor beef jerky in hand.

The cashiers badge reads Deepak. Thats an odd name for a Spanish, you mumble. Deepak smiles. I am from Bangladesh, sir he said.

YOU KNEW IT!!! This shop must be a cover for some weird spanish scheme to take our jobs!! You keep doing the John Cena cant see me hand thing in front of your mask, but Deepak is still smiling.

in that moment you hear a scream: you left your truck running and now it went downhill by itself!

you try to run towards it, and decide to fart strategically on deepaks direction, but to your surprise, the Coca Cola and corn flakes gave you the runs! You feel a warm puddle of poop weighting down your boxers.

what do you do?

A) try to save your truck. Run towards it!
B) ask Deepak. Hell no, demand Deepak to take you to his secret Spanish restroom.
C) pretend nothing happened and pay for your stuff

B
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B

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B

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A

B

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B

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