Current Events > Is a "good guy" the same as a "nice guy"?

(+) Yeah! (+)

He's a good guy.

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yes

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Good guy > Nice guy

Good guys are kind, respectful and helpful to people.

Nice guys think if theyre nice to a woman 8 times in a row then theyve earned sex.
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What about guys who genuinely are nice and thoughtful and don't want sex, but is saddened that the girl is unappreciative?

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Vol2tex posted...

What about guys who genuinely are nice and thoughtful and don't want sex, but is saddened that the girl is unappreciative?

Theyre only saddened because they want something from the girl in return, so theyre just as bad.
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EffectAndCause posted...

Theyre only saddened because they want something from the girl in return, so theyre just as bad.

What if they just hope for acknowledgement and not anything romantic?

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Vol2tex posted...

What about guys who genuinely are nice and thoughtful and don't want sex, but is saddened that the girl is unappreciative?

I feel like if you expanded on this hypothetical situation, it would sound more and more like a "nice guy".


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Vol2tex posted...

What if they just hope for acknowledgement and not anything romantic?

This means doing the nice thing is more about getting praise and acknowledgement than just doing a nice thing.

Good guys do nice things and expect nothing in return, nice guys do it as quid pro quo.
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It's easy to tell the difference between an actual good guy and an imposter. The most obvious is that an imposter feels like he has to convince you, as to where an actual good person just shows you with gestures. Anyone who says "I swear Im a good guy" is 99% of the time, a douchebag. It's the same thing that happens with racist. If you're not actually racist, you won't find yourself trying to convince people you're not all the time. Not saying you'll never be accused even if you're not racist, because racist people love to try and point fingers at others as well. But if you feel defensive every time you are accused, you probably got some shit to work on.

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No. It's easy to be "nice" and not be good.

Plenty of people use niceness as cover for being an asshole

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EffectAndCause posted...

Theyre only saddened because they want something from the girl in return, so theyre just as bad.

That's a bit of a bootlickey perspective, I guess guys should see doing shit for m'lady as its own reward? Sounds like less of a human relationship and more of an S&M arrangement

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Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

That's a bit of a bootlickey perspective, I guess guys should see doing shit for m'lady as its own reward? Sounds like less of a human relationship and more of an S&M arrangement

The point
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Your head

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^^^Not at all, everyone likes their kindness to be acknowledged. It's literally the basis of manners

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Giblet_Enjoyer posted...

^^^Not at all, everyone likes their kindness to be acknowledged. It's literally the basis of manners

Projection. And even if that was true. There would still be people who want that acknowledge for every small thing they did and people who only care when.thry don't get acknowledge for the big things while all the lil things just come natural and genuine for them.

I personally love doing stuff for others and get anxiety from the attention I get for it. I hate being directly noticed. I just want people to treat me with the respect I treat them with.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

I just want people to treat me with the respect I treat them with.

Then you want something in return, and you're not truly nice.

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Pepys Monster posted...

Then you want something in return, and you're not truly nice.

Lol. You're really reaching to have no faith in humanity and give yourself justification to not even try eh?

Literally trying to say Im a fraud because I don't want others to get the benefits of my kindness and then turn around and shit on me. That's just basics dude. If you can't understand that, you got some real struggle ahead of you and I hope you grow from it.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Lol. You're really reaching to have no faith in humanity and give yourself justification to not even try eh?

Literally trying to say Im a fraud because I don't want others to get the benefits of my kindness and then turn around and shit on me. That's just basics dude. If you can't understand that, you got some real struggle ahead of you and I hope you grow from it.

My point is that respect and kindness should be a two way street, and it doesn't make someone selfish or insincere to be kind to someone and hope it's reciprocated.

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My motto is "do something nice for someone and don't expect anything in return" but I entirely get that it's disheartening to see someone not be thankful or even retaliate negatively.

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Pepys Monster posted...

Then you want something in return, and you're not truly nice.

That's bullshit. I've done a few good things for people with no expectations of them doing something for me but it's not bad, wrong, or selfish to hope they do something for you.

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BakonBitz posted...

My motto is "do something nice for someone and don't expect anything in return" but I entirely get that it's disheartening to see someone not be thankful or even retaliate negatively.

Yeah that's what I was getting at. There's a difference between doing something for the sole purpose of getting acknowledgement or romance, and simply noticing that a person didn't seem to be that thankful when you went out of your way to do something thoughtful for them.

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Pepys Monster posted...

My point is that respect and kindness should be a two way street, and it doesn't make someone selfish or insincere to be kind to someone and hope it's reciprocated.

Also, this goes against what I initially quoted.

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Pepys Monster posted...

My point is that respect and kindness should be a two way street, and it doesn't make someone selfish or insincere to be kind to someone and hope it's reciprocated.

Ok, well, I never disputed against that, so we have no disagreement. You literally jumped off this argument by calling me "fake nice" for doing exactly that. No idea what your whole objective was here other than try to call me out but then immediately contradict yourself and tell me my way is the right way.

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There's a kind of both right both wrong thing going on.

People do nice things for a variety of reasons along the spectrum of selflessness, but generally, people like to be recognized as nice. Nothing wrong with doing a thing for intangible but significant gift of recognition.

The question about being sad for lack of recognition from a girl is kinda creepy, though. Like, it might not be the case in a vacuum, but the context sounds very needy.

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God forbid people have desires

I'm with Pepys Monster on this. If I hold the door open for someone, I don't expect them to just sweep past me with their nose in the air as if I'm some mere lackey who's only giving them their due. I'm being nice, but I'm not your fucking doormat.

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Lost_All_Senses posted...

Ok, well, I never disputed against that, so we have no disagreement. You literally jumped off this argument by calling me "fake nice" for doing exactly that. No idea what your whole objective was here other than try to call me out but then immediately contradict yourself and tell me my way is the right way.

All right, then. I thought you were trying to portray yourself as a Gandhi-like figure who does kind things purely altruistically, while wanting nothing in return whatsoever.

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^^^Not at all, everyone likes their kindness to be acknowledged. It's literally the basis of manners

i don't think that's true; you do polite and nice things because they're the right thing to do.

If I hold the door open for someone, I don't expect them to just sweep past me with their nose in the air as if I'm some mere lackey who's only giving them their due

lol, i knew this would show up at some point. this is exactly what i mean. if you need to be thanked, stop holding doors for people. nobody owes you anything for doing something they never asked for, and it says a lot about you that you would weaponize your own 'kind' gesture when you don't get what you want.
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Pancake posted...

nobody owes you anything for doing something they never asked for

It's simple civility to utter a word of acknowledgement for a polite gesture even if it's one you didn't ask for.

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Pepys Monster posted...

All right, then. I thought you were trying to portray yourself as a Gandhi-like figure who does kind things purely altruistically, while wanting nothing in return whatsoever.

Neh. I know I can come off pretentious here at times, holier than thou and shit. But you really gotta avoid/ignore all the times I talk down and realistic about myself to think Im on some Ghandi shit. Im cool with this. Cause it use to be where I only thought the bad traits about myself and never patted myself on the back for the good. Im not going back to that lol.

Also, try not to take some the stuff I throw at you as me wanting to tear you down. I definitely feel it's warranted when you swing back at me tho. Cause Im definitely not always nice about the stuff I think, but I recognize that that's all it is, stuff I think. Im not carving it into stone. Im waiting to have my mind changed

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Firewerx posted...

It's simple civility to utter a word of acknowledgement for a polite gesture even if it's one you didn't ask for.

Agreed. It's basic human decency.

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It's simple civility to utter a word of acknowledgement for a polite gesture even if it's one you didn't ask for.

that's not wrong, but it's not exactly the point, either. there's a lot of rest-of-that-post you ignored, particularly the part where you're sitting around weaponizing being nice.

if you can't handle not being thanked for being kind, you're not kind.

repeat after me: 'they just forgot to say it and i can move on and continue living without confronting them over it'.
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Pancake posted...

if you can't handle not being thanked for being kind, you're not kind.

Im the type to say "yup" when people say "thank you". I heard that irritates some people. And I think it's funny that Im suppose to act a certain way to your acknowledge of my initial favor to you. They immediately throw away your initially favor if you don't react to their thank you the way they want you to.

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The best way to handle people not saying thank you when you do something nice is just say you're welcome.

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Pancake posted...

particularly the part where you're sitting around weaponizing being nice.

Probably because you made that up out of nowhere.

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Good guys do things just because, and for either gender. Nice guys only do things for people they're orbiting around, and it's always someone they wanna smash who clearly isn't interested in that way. Shit's fucking pathetic.

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Im the type to say "yup" when people say "thank you". I heard that irritates some people. And I think it's funny that Im suppose to act a certain way to your acknowledge of my initial favor to you.

that's on them and they absolutely should just be happy with the appreciation shown.

The best way to handle people not saying thank you when you do something nice is just say you're welcome.

i think the best way to handle it is to act like an adult. it's why i taught firewerx that spell that will turn him into one once he repeats it.

do you think being snide to people will change them?

Probably because you made that up out of nowhere.

if you shout 'you're welcome!' because a person didn't thank you, you are turning your 'kind' gesture into a platform to be a jerk. needing a pat on the back for every nice thing you do is a horrible character trait.
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Pancake posted...

if you can't handle not being thanked for being kind, you're not kind.

I'm polite. I'm not a saint.


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I'm polite.

does that persist when you don't get what you're expecting?
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Pancake posted...

I'm polite.

does that persist when you don't get what you're expecting?

Why wouldn't it?

Pancake posted...

if you shout 'you're welcome!'

And again you're doing that thing where you make shit up.

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Why wouldn't it?

could you do me a favor and read the conversation before you comment on it? thank you.

And again you're doing that thing where you make shit up.

it's called inference. read post #25 and tell me what you get out of it.
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Pancake posted...

it's called inference. read post #25 and tell me what you get out of it.

Certainly not someone shouting.

Pancake posted...

could you do me a favor and read the conversation before you comment on it? thank you.

Could you do all of us a favor and stop trolling on Christmas?

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This is getting dumb you guys.

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Could you do all of us a favor and stop trolling on Christmas?

if it makes it easier for you to call it that, by all means. but again, please, do read the conversation before you chime into it again.
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They're basically the same ******* thing, except a good guy may be a dick to achieve a positive outcome, while a nice guy will try and be polite about it.

If someone has an ulterior motive (like expecting favors), then they're not exactly a nice guy.

If you have to announce that you're a good or nice guy, well ...

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Pancake posted...

I'm polite.

does that persist when you don't get what you're expecting?

I'll be truthful: I don't bother to hold the door open again for the same people if they don't need it. If they're carrying something heavy, then sure, I'll hold the door open for them the next time regardless.

But somehow, I sense that's not really the answer you're looking for. I think the telltale clue was you falling over yourself to grasp at the bullshit assumption that I "confronted" people over it. I suspect that in your fevered imagination, you already have this vivid mental picture of me offering to buy drinks for girls I don't know in bars and getting angry when I'm refused. Am I right?

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But somehow, I sense that's not really the answer you're looking for.

well, there was a lot of this:

I don't expect them to just sweep past me with their nose in the air as if I'm some mere lackey who's only giving them their due. I'm being nice, but I'm not your fucking doormat.

it really made me think that you pulled that 'you're welcome!' shit, too. blame me. your attitude is awful.

you already have this vivid mental picture of me offering to buy drinks for girls I don't know in bars and getting angry when I'm refused. Am I right?

and no, but again, read that snippet and tell me it doesn't paint a picture. you could post that on an incel forum without context and you'd get a bunch of upvotes just for the tone.
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Na good is a stronger form of nice

Lost_All_Senses posted...

This is getting dumb you guys.

I am ashamed for having contributed to starting this.

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