Current Events > Have to have a meeting with my boss due to words I used in office, thoughts ??

(+) Yeah! (+)

This is literally what HR is for.
She handled it in the most professional and adult way possible.
You said something incredibly offensive, only you to blame here.

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meestermj posted...

This is literally what HR is for.
She handled it in the most professional and adult way possible.
You said something incredibly offensive, only you to blame here.

No, she didn't. Lmao. HR is for unresolvable grievances, not petty passive aggressive nonsense.

What would have been most appropriate would be for the offended party to be an adult and vocal his/her displeasure and offense at the comment to the person who said it. Then, the matter is up to the offending party: either apologize and explain yourself, or tell him/her to fuck off (not verbatim, of course).

Then you go to HR if the offending person does not change his/her behavior.

That's how it works in NC anyway. You have to prove you have tried to reasonably resolve the situation before HR will do anything.

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Spiritlittle posted...

No, she didn't. Lmao. HR is for unresolvable grievances, not petty passive aggressive nonsense.

What would have been most appropriate would be for the offended party to be an adult and vocal his/her displeasure and offense at the comment to the person who said it. Then, the matter is up to the offending party: either apologize and explain yourself, or tell him/her to fuck off (not verbatim, of course).

Then you go to HR if the offending person does not change his/her behavior.

That's how it works in NC anyway. You have to prove you have tried to reasonably resolve the situation before HR will do anything.

Most companies I've worked at encourage you not to try and resolve matters yourself, as it can just cause further issues.
OP should know better than to say that shit at work.
At the very least he should have been proactive and apologized/approached his coworker first.

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meestermj posted...

Most companies I've worked at encourage you not to try and resolve matters yourself, as it can just cause further issues.
OP should know better than to say that shit at work.
At the very least he should have been proactive and apologized/approached his coworker first.

There's also HR laws that vary by state. For example, I can be fired from my teaching position in NC just because parents or staff find out I'm gay and complain about it to the district.

In California, you're protected from that kind of discrimination.

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Spiritlittle posted...

There's also HR laws that vary by state. For example, I can be fired from my teaching position in NC just because parents or staff find out I'm gay and complain about it to the district.

In California, you're protected from that kind of discrimination.

No matter what, it boils down to OP fucking up.
He shouldn't have said it, it's absolutely unacceptable in a professional environment.
His boss would have been entirely justified in firing him, he's lucky it was just a warning.
OP needs to use this as a learning experience and grow as a person.

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Shes a backstabber and a snitch

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ColdOne666 posted...

Shes a backstabber and a snitch

Lol no he said a word thats deemed very offensive in a professional setting and got in trouble for it.


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spikethedevil posted...

Lol no he said a word thats deemed very offensive in a professional setting and got in trouble for it.

Like you've never said anything you shouldn't have at work...

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Its called being careful who you say things around.

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Spiritlittle posted...

Like you've never said anything you shouldn't have at work...

So what if he does?
If he does, any punishment he gets is justified.

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If you make things awkward shes gonna talk shit behind your back and try to turn other people against her. Kill her with kindness.

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metallica846 posted...

Ghost her ass. Fuck she thinks this is?

Oh haha member that time last week when I could have gotten you fired!? Omg that was so crazy...so how was your weekend? I just watched Mandalorian hehe baby yoda!

I'd even tell her straight up that you don't think it's appropriate and how you are uncomfortable now.

Lol seriously this, fuck her don't talk to her shitty ass again even if you were wrong and you apologized who the fuck does this.

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I sense quite a few people here have no idea what it's like to work in a professional office environment especially if it's one of the more progressive office cultures around tolerance and no bullying/hate-type speech.

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ultimately this word is Ableist, that's what the problem is.

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metallica846 posted...

Found the office snitch and CE serial report button smasher.

LOL Right?

gloBal enemy posted...

I sense quite a few people here have no idea what it's like to work in a professional office environment especially if it's one of the more progressive office cultures around tolerance and no bullying/hate-type speech.

See my post#24

I'm at the point where I would just assume shovel shit, then work in an environment with an HR department.
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ryudo500 posted...

@PalmerSensei
thank you palmer..

I was a little bitch, I apologized 130x saying its terrible usage that should never be used. there were two bosses, the one did most of th talking about how he knows I want to move up and this language isnt tolerated aroudn here and this should be a teaching moment moving forward and that we can all lern form this. also said about his neice and again about future employers when they call and how he cant lie and wants to say good things and that I need to apologize to the person.

the other boss just said about the surrounding and did say at one point that "it did smell very strongly" I felt that was a jab to teh other boss tbh LOL

hardest thing was apologizing to the other person I did it, she said she didnt mind the f bombs at al but didn't like the r word. 30misn later she tried to strike up conversation with me about random things where I went to school and about xmas decorations for the office. I felt awkward because I didnt want to talk to her but felt I needed to answer her questions and dilogue so I avoid further issues?

Fwiw, I don't think she was wrong for establishing a boundary on that word, but, like others have already said, she easily could've just talked to you about it first. I'm guesssing her trying to talk to you afterwards was her way of attempting to clear the air between you two, but I think only a heart-to-heart between you two would really do that, though. It might not even be worth it if you guys aren't close friends (and it sounds like you aren't, based on previous posts).

It's good to know that things mostly worked out alright, though.

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gloBal enemy posted...

I sense quite a few people here have no idea what it's like to work in a professional office environment especially if it's one of the more progressive office cultures around tolerance and no bullying/hate-type speech.

I honestly don't and judging by some responses wouldn't like to.
I think it's absolutely insane someone could get fired over a bad word that wasn't directed at anyone nor were there any (potential) clients in the vicinity. Yes, people should be able to carry themselves in a professional manner and TC screwed up. But I'd consider not going "b-b-but they used a no-no" to a superior to be carrying yourself in a professional manner as well.
I mostly work with "manly" men who think calling each other gay is hilarious and it got annoying fast. Seems like this is just the other extreme to that.

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Generally when people get offended over that word to the point of wanting to get you in trouble it's because they know someone who is mentally handicapped. There are plenty of people that don't say it or think it's wrong to say, but usually if they don't know someone personally they won't take it to a higher authority but may or may not just tell you not to use it.

Because of the type of climate we live in these days where people tend to be a bit overly we sensitive, you will not win. There is no argument at all that you can use to justify what you said being ok. Not that it would be ok in a less sensitive environment, but basically you need to admit fault and say it won't happen again so you don't get demoted or worse yet lose your job.

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I agree with the sentiment that you did fuck up and wisely apoligized, you don't owe her to be buddy buddy after something like this.

Time to get your coworker fired

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ryudo500 posted...

my co-woker who as in office cubicle, said she will go to HR for me saying that.

tbh if she is comfortably enough to outright say she is going to HR for something you said then she should have been comfortable enough to just warn you it wasnt a cool word to use before actually going

Gamerguymass posted...

Generally when people get offended over that word to the point of wanting to get you in trouble it's because they know someone who is mentally handicapped. There are plenty of people that don't say it or think it's wrong to say, but usually if they don't know someone personally they won't take it to a higher authority but may or may not just tell you not to use it.

Because of the type of climate we live in these days where people tend to be a bit overly we sensitive, you will not win. There is no argument at all that you can use to justify what you said being ok. Not that it would be ok in a less sensitive environment, but basically you need to admit fault and say it won't happen again so you don't get demoted or worse yet lose your job.

What I said earlier but better put.


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lmao i would never talk to her again unless i absolutely needed to for my job. I would even make it a point to talk to people around her but not her specifically

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fusespliff posted...

I honestly don't and judging by some responses wouldn't like to.
I think it's absolutely insane someone could get fired over a bad word that wasn't directed at anyone nor were there any (potential) clients in the vicinity. Yes, people should be able to carry themselves in a professional manner and TC screwed up. But I'd consider not going "b-b-but they used a no-no" to a superior to be carrying yourself in a professional manner as well.
I mostly work with "manly" men who think calling each other gay is hilarious and it got annoying fast. Seems like this is just the other extreme to that.

Fair enough. My best friend recently joined my company and used the G word... and was shocked when I let him know that whilst socially I'm fine with it, given the prominence of our company in LGBT communities it would be unwise to use such language around the office loosely.

I think I'm just used to being careful with words and behaviours nowadays but being PC all the time isn't natural and definitely isn't for everyone.

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gloBal enemy posted...

Fair enough. My best friend recently joined my company and used the G word... and was shocked when I let him know that whilst socially I'm fine with it, given the prominence of our company in LGBT communities it would be unwise to use such language around the office loosely.

I think I'm just used to being careful with words and behaviours nowadays but being PC all the time isn't natural and definitely isn't for everyone.

PC people are my enemy

as long as nothing is done maliciously, I have no issues with it. I sincerely hope this new outrage era dies down fast

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will post back later tongiht and reply to soem of you

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spikethedevil posted...

Lol no he said a word thats deemed very offensive in a professional setting and got in trouble for it.

@spikethedevil yes i was wrong to say it but the handling was what I was irritated with

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Akagami_Shanks posted...

lmao i would never talk to her again unless i absolutely needed to for my job. I would even make it a point to talk to people around her but not her specifically

@Akagami_Shanks yea I agree

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Akagami_Shanks posted...

PC people are my enemy

as long as nothing is done maliciously, I have no issues with it. I sincerely hope this new outrage era dies down fast

For real.
And just for starters here, saying a word is one thing. Losing a job over it is another.
The outrage crew have no problem with punishments that far outstrip the alleged offense.
The PC crew has an almost fetish-like willingness to punish, which imo, is just as bad if not worse.

They don't even care, they just like getting people in trouble.

My mom passed in the 80's. I've spent a lifetime rolling with momma jokes, because not everyone is going to know everything about your life. And that's life. Shit happens, it's the one thing we all have in common. Fucking people need to learn to live.
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damn

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Fuck man I am in for a rude awakening when I get out of the military if saying something as simple as that gets you in trouble.

ryudo500 posted...

damn

?
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That's why you shouldn't say stupid shit like that at work or ever, hell i would have reported you because i have relatives that are mentally handicapped.

Granted she should have probably talked to you first instead of going straight to HR but maybe she has a family member or knows someone who's handicapped.

If you work in a professional environment then you should act like it.


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Mr_Karate_II posted...

That's why you shouldn't say stupid shit like that at work or ever, hell i would have reported you because i have relatives that are mentally handicapped.

Granted she should have probably talked to you first instead of going straight to HR but maybe she has a family member or knows someone who's handicapped.

If you work in a professional environment then you should act like it.

@Mr_Karate_II
First of al not that this matters but I never said that word with negative real connotation behind it. if I were in your shoes I prolly WOULD be offended too BUTI WOULD NOT , fora first time offense, go above that person not because i think its sneaky but becuaeI would think putting them in their place right then adn there and telling me why it was wrong and hwo wrong I was saying it would be just as good maybe better. plus m not scared of confrontation.

I do not want people liek you also calling out snowflake or PC culture as well, I thnk its highly hypocritical. You woudl bein the right if I kept saying it or DIRECTED it towards you maybe

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ryudo500 posted...

@Mr_Karate_II
First of al not that this matters but I never said that word with negative real connotation behind it. if I were in your shoes I prolly WOULD be offended too BUTI WOULD NOT , fora first time offense, go above that person not because i think its sneaky but becuaeI would think putting them in their place right then adn there and telling me why it was wrong and hwo wrong I was saying it would be just as good maybe better. plus m not scared of confrontation.

I do not want people liek you also calling out snowflake or PC culture as well, I thnk its highly hypocritical. You woudl bein the right if I kept saying it or DIRECTED it towards you maybe

I'm gonna be that guy and say it's hard to read your posts. Like do you even have spell check on your phone or computer?

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Mr_Karate_II posted...

I'm gonna be that guy and say it's hard to read your posts. Like do you even have spell check on your phone or computer?

he might be afflicted of the condition he made fun of.

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I can't believe I'm defending corporate culture but this is an acceptable outcome. He got bitched out, chose to apologize and didn't lose his job. Personally, I wouldn't have said anything the first time unless we worked with someone who has a developmental disability. Second time, I'm warning you and third time I go over your head, while documenting each incident. I don't want that shit while I'm trying to work no matter what environment it is. If you don't like it, quit.

That said I'd have spoken up about the paint as well or worked somewhere else for that time.

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@berlyman101 that fine. Like I said I knwo I shouldnt have said it but it was handled pretty poorly, some by me but mostly on her end

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you are ignoring her now, right TC?

Not retaliation or anything since it's not illegal to not socialize with coworkers

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Akagami_Shanks posted...

you are ignoring her now, right TC?

Not retaliation or anything since it's not illegal to not socialize with coworkers

yes

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