Current Events > Military members shouldn't get married

(+) Yeah! (+)

Ive been enlisted over 6 years. I came in married and got divorced after a year. In my career so far Ive seen cheating everywhere, Especially deployed. One example is three guys sharing a dorm, two were married with kids, cheating with each other.
Another story recently state-side is at a party where an engaged female with a kid hooked up with a guy while her man was overseas.
Im not bitter or anything, this is just a warning. My divorce was my fault.

tldr: If youre in the military, dont get married.

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my parents have been married since the 70's, and my dad was an army officer. but he was never deployed away from us so maybe that's why

Zikten posted...

my parents have been married since the 70's, and my dad was an army officer. but he was never deployed away from us so maybe that's why

Tbh some of the strongest relationships come from military marriages. Those are fewer these days. My advice is dont do it until after service.

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I agree. Saw it all the time when I was in. Should only single soldiers
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Cpt_Pineapple posted...

if the army wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one

Lmao

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darkprince45 posted...

I agree. Saw it all the time when I was in. Should only single soldiers

Im in the Air Force, but yeah single airmen too. When I hear about a new troop coming to the shop, 19 years old and newly married to someone they met in tech school I cringe.

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I was an officer and got married about a year before I got out. Even so, being a civilian gave the relationship a different twist and my first year out was rough on the marriage. We made it through and all good now but I definitely agree that you should not marry until after you are out, or if you decide to be a lifer, until you are at least E6/O3 - older, wiser, and more secure in your career.
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flobbyg posted...

I was an officer and got married about a year before I got out. Even so, being a civilian gave the relationship a different twist and my first year out was rough on the marriage. We made it through and all good now but I definitely agree that you should not marry until after you are out, or if you decide to be a lifer, until you are at least E6/O3 - older, wiser, and more secure in your career.

I could agree with the E6, cant speak for the officers. Im E5 and Ssgts still be crazy.


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young troops/soldiers need the freedom to be sleeping around. I agree E6/O3 is when they calm down to settle for more than casual sex. if you under e6/o3, go to town have fun, stay outta trouble, do your job - work hard and play hard.

i heard there are tons of stories about housewives cheating while their spouses are deployed, come back and find out and lose everything.

sucks about the divorce. hope it dont affect your service.

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Say hi to Jody for me.

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Literally everyone I know who got married in the service got divorced a few years later.
My old high school buddy did this and even had a kid with the girl, and after the divorce she got 100% custody.
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Military is a giant orgy fest
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HBOSS posted...

young troops/soldiers need the freedom to be sleeping around. I agree E6/O3 is when they calm down to settle for more than casual sex. if you under e6/o3, go to town have fun, stay outta trouble, do your job - work hard and play hard.

i heard there are tons of stories about housewives cheating while their spouses are deployed, come back and find out and lose everything.

sucks about the divorce. hope it dont affect your service.

I agree. My divorce was quick, my fault, and two ranks ago. I was lucky there were no kids.

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DrizztLink posted...

Say hi to Jody for me.

Hi Jody

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I enlisted in the Navy while already being married for a few years.

Now, after being in for nearly a year, most of it away at A School, the marriage feels different. I feel more distant from her and I have a lot less patience for some of the stuff she does and more frustration over the stuff she doesn't do.

This is why I only started considering it when I knew my relationship was on the rocks.

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This wouldn't be an issue if people were more down with open relationships.

Dragonblade01 posted...

This wouldn't be an issue if people were more down with open relationships.

And drowning wouldn't be an issue if we could breath water, you rhubarb pie.

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Guide posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

This wouldn't be an issue if people were more down with open relationships.

And drowning wouldn't be an issue if we could breath water, you rhubarb pie.

And that's the problem. People think not having strictly closed relationships is the same as literally not being able to breath water.

Imagine not being able to get a metaphor.

The point isn't that they're alike, it's that you're stating an obvious, yet pointless and helpless thing.

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Guide posted...

Imagine not being able to get a metaphor.

...my reply requires that I understand the metaphor

Dragonblade01 posted...

...my reply requires that I understand the metaphor

You took a metaphor and made a literal interpretation.

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Guide posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

...my reply requires that I understand the metaphor

You took a metaphor and made a literal interpretation.

I used the fact that you would even use that as a metaphor to show how unnecessarily resistant people are to the idea of open relationships

The point isn't that they're alike, it's that you're stating an obvious, yet pointless and helpless thing.

It was a late edit, so maybe you missed this part.

But you seem to believe that people having different relationship requirements from you is somehow "unnecessary", which is just a lack of understanding of people.

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Guide posted...

The point isn't that they're alike, it's that you're stating an obvious, yet pointless and helpless thing.

It was a late edit, so maybe you missed this part.

But you seem to believe that people having different relationship requirements from you is somehow "unnecessary", which is just a lack of understanding of people.

No, what I'm pointing out is that a lot of heartache could be avoided if people were more flexible.

i saw this quite often too. not only the guys but the wives eventually get bored at home when the guy is gone for x amount of time deployed on the other end of the world somewhere.
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VoightKent posted...

wait, we talkin about gay stuff ?

Correct.

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Dragonblade01 posted...

No, what I'm pointing out is that a lot of heartache could be avoided if people were more flexible.

Not understanding people. It's not a matter of flexibility for a lot of people.

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I agree
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Eh, married my husband when he was newly commissioned. Still married 24 1/2 years later. He's an O6 now, in the Reserve. Trust is a thing. So is integrity.
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Sariana21 posted...

Eh, married my husband when he was newly commissioned. Still married 24 1/2 years later. He's an O6 now, in the Reserve. Trust is a thing. So is integrity.

Very true, but dont use your example to blow off everyone else

Doesnt mean that military marraige is for everyone though. Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain. It's more than just having trust and integrity. Being able to physically connect with your mate is very important
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But then how would they get all those dependa dollars?
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