Current Events > the past two months in the life of parappa

(+) Yeah! (+)

context: this isn't meant to come off as bragging. if it happens to me it can happen to anyone. i'm an unconfident fucker

work
manager: i'm leaving
me: oh shit that means i'm going to have to apply for his job which i don't want
my only other co-worker in our team: i've applied for his job two times before and didn't get it, so now is my time

*applies for job*
*gets interview*

co-worker who also had an interview: i nailed the interview, and i hope i get the job!
me: i bombed the interview but i hope you get the job. i like you and would rather have you as a manager than some external norm (100% srs)

*head of department pulls me into a room*
hod: we'd like to offer you the managerial role
me: (awkward) haha okay
hod: i know you're going on holiday tomorrow for two weeks but you need to accept/decline the offer today
me: i'll email you first thing tomorrow morning before i fly to think it over
hod: oh btw we're only offering you 10% more even though the work and responsibility is 100% more

*checks glassdoor: people in [managerial position] are paid at least 6k more than my offer, so i'm being screwed*

me emailing the following morning: i know i applied for the job, said how much i wanted it in the interview and was good enough to be offered it, but i actually want to do something completely different in my career and work in product rather than marketing. so my heart wouldn't be fully in the position so it. brb 2 weeks.
hod: that's frustrating but whatever. thanks for being honest! don't dwell on this too much and enjoy your holiday

three months ago
me: hey man, you seem cool
random spanish guy: sure
me: let's hang out more
random spanish guy: sure let's play it by ear
me: tonight?
random spanish guy: let's see, depends how i feel
me: but you're not doing anything tonight
random spanish guy: stop talking
me: *this guy is going to be a dick but he's kinda cool*

two weeks ago at a nightclub with friends
*parappa is in wingman mode*
me: hey man, i have a friend who is interested in you. i haven't told him i'm speaking to you yet, so let me know what you think
hot guy: oh, uhhhh, he's not my type
me: cool man, thanks for being honest. just out of interest, what is your type?
hot guy: ...i don't really have a type, i guess
me: really? be honest
hot guy: well, if i'm honest, my type is a guy like you
me: (awkward) haha okay
hot guy: i'm being honest, believe me
*he's definitely pulling my leg and i don't believe him*
me: you have insta? add me on there

hanging w/boyfriend
him: i want to buy a house with you, and think about the next steps in our future. like marriage, kids and everything else. i want to settle down with you
me: (awkward) haha okay

there's more stuff i can share, i'll probably do it in a later post. it's been a v weird period for me lately but i wanted to get it out to my CEbros

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haha okay

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you're a prick, this isn't charming or amusing just outs you as a shitty person

csb

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Also yeah the whole 10% raise for 100% more stress thing is bullshit. My supervisor keeps telling me when he retires he's going to recommend me for his job but just about every day he's telling me he's getting chewed out by the manager so...ehhhh

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