Current Events > Disney wants you to write and direct Episode 9.

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DevsBro
05/30/19 12:50:13 PM
#1:


Everyone working on the film died in a freak props costumes and footage fire which also claimed the props, costumes and footage made so far.

Even the subtitle got burned in the fire, so they need a new one of those too.

They do have a clonifier ray that they can use to resurrect actors but oddly, it only works on actors. They will not remember anything about the movie, though.

Also everyone in the company's phone got a virus thst prevents them from calling any number except one, which happens to be yours. Also they're all trapped in a building where they can't ask anyone they know. Also they are very hungry so you should probably bring like one of those six foot party subs or something.

So, how do you start? What's the new story, setting, title, etc.
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PoopPotato
05/30/19 12:52:50 PM
#2:


Knights of Ren kill the remaining not Rebels, turn on Kylo, kill him, and rule the galaxy as a divided empire. The knights begin fighting each other until only two remain. They remove their helmets to reveal Finn and Rose. They look into the camera and laugh.

Credits.
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So_Hajile
05/30/19 1:10:22 PM
#3:


I'm Rian Johnson, but if you insist...

The movie opens as Kylo Ren looks into space, searching for Rey. Their minds connect and in a brief moment, they each can see through the other's eyes. Rey notices a cluster of stars outside of Ren's ship and realizes he's close. The rebel forces don't have much time. Kylo sees a bunch of futuristic dildos laying around an unkempt room. He's flabbergasted! The connection is broken as Kylo stumbles around the room, into the nearby corridor, and falls down a shaft that's in a spaceship because of reasons. An insidious laughter is heard followed by the words "good, good" as the screen fades to black.

Next scene opens with a child using the force to push a space-lawnmower around as his guardian screams at him from inside a nearby house. More chores are being demanded of him. He raises his arm outward and a broom comes flying into his hand. Suddenly from above, a spaceship carrying the last fourteen rebel forces, including Rey, crash lands on top of the dwelling and the child. Fade to black.

The screen illuminates with a blinding light. We're now inside a dank and murky building. Screams and shouts can heard from below. Down there resides a droid fighting pit. R2-D2 is wearing a gimp mask as he attempts to shock C3PO (dressed in an S&M outfit) who is running away. Ralikili (Clint Howard) looks on in amusement.

Fade to black.

Roll Credits.
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BlameAnesthesia
05/30/19 1:17:39 PM
#4:


Cast Vin Diesel and a CGI created Paul Walker and make episode 9 an entire movie about pod racing, Fast and Furious style.
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untrustful
05/30/19 1:19:19 PM
#5:


I'd Ghostbusters 2016 it. Have a team of 4 female jedi fight the dark side, where the dark side is dark because they're lonely.
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NL
05/30/19 1:20:43 PM
#6:


BlameAnesthesia posted...
Cast Vin Diesel and a CGI created Paul Walker and make episode 9 an entire movie about pod racing, Fast and Furious style.


So that's why FF9 hasn't been announced yet.
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coinstarcad
05/30/19 2:13:05 PM
#7:


I would tone down the violence. A torture scene would be putting someone under threat of being pinched in the stomach. No lightsabers, no powers. Jedi and Sith are rival gangs that fight each other with belts. People will cry a lot instead of die.
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fan357
05/30/19 2:23:25 PM
#8:


Make a Crimson Empire movie instead.
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legendarylemur
05/30/19 2:26:02 PM
#9:


Turns out Rey was Palpatine's daughter. Palpatine possesses her, Finn and friends try to stop her but fails, and Kylo has to come and finish her off before things get too bad. Kylo is defeated and loses an arm, but Rey regains some consciousness from their fight and forces herself to fall from a great height, thus dying via sacrifice.

Full circle baby
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So_Hajile
05/30/19 2:28:22 PM
#10:


Use the same script as The Warriors, but insert star wars characters / gangs. That would be my Plan B.
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Mist_Turnips
05/30/19 2:29:22 PM
#11:


Make everyone jump into the Sarlac (Sp?) pit. The movie will last about 5 minutes tops then roll the credit. And that will be how the franchise ends. And it will still be better written than the first two ST movies.
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Tyranthraxus
05/30/19 2:30:32 PM
#12:


Han Solo shakes Rey to wake her up from this stupid dream and they continue on to meet Leia for the first time.
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Master_Bass
05/30/19 2:37:25 PM
#13:


Luke appears saying he was just joking about disappearing and that Palpatine has returned. He totally saw him while he was playing with his new disappearing force power.

He goes to fight Palpatine but is defeated. All hope appears lost as Luke is being shocked with force lighting, again, when you suddenly see a purple Lightsaber go through Palpatine's body.

Mace Windu steps over Papatine's body complaining about these motherfucking Sith in this motherfucking galaxy. Mace then teams up with Finn, since they're the only two black guys left for some reason, and singlehandly kills Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren. Mace becomes leader of the First Order and gives Rey a place on the council, but not the rank of master. Rey looks outraged. Cut to credits.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY
05/30/19 2:39:29 PM
#14:


Luke wakes up from the horrible nightmare, turns over and wakes his wife Mara Jade to tell her what horrors he saw. We see that wonderful successful jedi academy that Luke actually built with the twins Jacen and Jania appearing, along with all the other EU characters as they start dealing with the Yuuzhan Vong threat.
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Middle hope
05/30/19 2:40:53 PM
#15:


Han Solo comes back as a zombie and eats Kylo
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Doom_Art
05/30/19 2:53:39 PM
#16:


My issues with the ST are things that have existed since TFA came out, so to make my ideal version of Episode IX I'd need to scrap it all and restart

However, since that isn't gonna happen, I'd honestly just go balls out with fan service (which is what I expect Abrams will do). I'd have the Knights of Ren wrecking shit, Sheev pulling the strings from behind the scenes, a power vacuum in the First Order with Hux and other higher ups overthrowing Ren, the Resistance gaining possession a superweapon from the Empire/Old Republic, and Finn and Poe hooking up

I have a sneaking suspicion that most of that will be in the actual Episode 9 we'll be getting anyway
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Questionmarktarius
05/30/19 3:48:39 PM
#17:


DevsBro posted...
They do have a clonifier ray that they can use to resurrect actors but oddly, it only works on actors.

Every part is portrayed by an Alec Guinness clone.
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