Current Events > Pro Tip: "Nothing is working" is the least helpful thing to send to IT

(+) Yeah! (+)

First of all, something is working.
Second of all, I'm not there so give me some God Damn information to diagnose with.
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I get those more and more these days, probably has something to do with one generation starting to retire and the next taking their place...
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Do your job neckbeard wage slave

>Sit at same desk job in front of computer for 20 years
>Manage to avoid learning anything whatsoever about computers

LOL. That's pretty funny. They just don't know huh
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Did you try turning it off and back on again?
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I wish there was like an online "certification" test that if you passed bypassed unhelpful IT comments like cycling the power or resetting your modem.
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I have a very basic user level knowledge of computers and that shit irritates me when people come to me to help with their problems. If you haven't even tried turning it off and on don't even talk to me, bro.
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I think the worst is "the computer won't let me..."

LOL thats pretty great
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EnterTheTekken posted...

I think the worst is "the computer won't let me..."

At least that gives you something to work with. Calling in to the helpdesk and telling them your "internet is broke" doesn't mean shit. Especially when it ends up that the user was going to a blocked website. How does you getting a message saying www.shoppinglovers.com is blocked mean your internet is broken?

Honestly, my favorite one on a Monday morning.
User: "Did something happen with the server over the weekend?"
Me: "Which one? We have 75 of them."
User: "......don't be like that. You know which one I'm talking about!"
Me: "Just tell me what is happening so this conversation can end."
User: "I keep getting this pop up saying low disk space."
Me: *click*
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Nobody seems to think of how much being IT is like being a doctor. You don't walk into the doctor's office and say "I'm dead" and then sit there quietly while they fix your cough. I need clues so I can guess what the problem is and then test my hypothesis.
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TC, as IT guys I think a required skillset is social skills. We know users are stupid but we can't act or tell them they are. We have to make feel like they are doing the right thing but shit happens. Internal customer service is a lost are and we had to fire our last IT guy because he had a melties with users.
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Ranting Nord posted...

Nobody seems to think of how much being IT is like being a doctor. You don't walk into the doctor's office and say "I'm dead" and then sit there quietly while they fix your cough. I need clues so I can guess what the problem is and then test my hypothesis.

I think a doctor is a somewhat more developed career than a call centre helpdesk job.

Nevertheless, I fully expect doctors DO have to put up with plenty "Everything hurts" vague complaints every day.

"My computer isn't working!"

*monitor is turned off*
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I'm saying they're analogous in methodologies. You come in with a problem that only you are experiencing and I run through a check list of possible causes until I come to a reasonable conclusion.

And I'm being super polite to them. That's why I'm on an anonymous online forum to vent my complaints.
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Ranting Nord posted...

Nobody seems to think of how much being IT is like being a doctor. You don't walk into the doctor's office and say "I'm dead" and then sit there quietly while they fix your cough. I need clues so I can guess what the problem is and then test my hypothesis.

I like to compare it to an auto mechanic if anything.
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After years in customer service, I can only conclude that the general public has the analytical and diagnostic capacity of ants when it comes to problem solving. Most people cannot distinguish between actionable information and how their problem makes them feel. That's why I get paid the big bucks! Heheh!

Heheh....

Heh...

Oh man....
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Heineken14 posted...

"My computer isn't working!"

*monitor is turned off*

Fun fact: this same person that I'm complaining about now wrote me a strongly worded email once that her monitor suddenly broke and that I needed to ship her a new one immediately. Turns out she hit a button and changed the input.
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Ranting Nord posted...

Nobody seems to think of how much being IT is like being a doctor. You don't walk into the doctor's office and say "I'm dead" and then sit there quietly while they fix your cough. I need clues so I can guess what the problem is and then test my hypothesis.

I mean I also get annoyed when I talk to my doctor about a problem, give them a bunch of information, and then have them disregard it so that they can ask me if I've eaten something weird lately as well.
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Well make sure your dumb software works
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Ranting Nord posted...

Heineken14 posted...

"My computer isn't working!"

*monitor is turned off*

Fun fact: this same person that I'm complaining about now wrote me a strongly worded email once that her monitor suddenly broke and that I needed to ship her a new one immediately. Turns out she hit a button and changed the input.

Definitely a baby boomer

There have been a few time in my career where I get a call, "OMG EVERYTHING JUST CRASHED NOTHING WILL COME ON PLEASE HELP ASAP"

Then I go to the desk and see they hit the power strip button with their foot. Then I ponder how some people even survive in the modern world.
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Write up a basic questionnaire to paste to them every time this happens.

"Fill this out in full and I'll get back to you. Be as specific as possible with your answers otherwise I may not be able to help."
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EnterTheTekken posted...

I think the worst is "the computer won't let me..."

In fairness, Microsoft software will often just not let you with no explanation of why.

You would think by now you would be able to hover a gray menu item and see why it's gray.
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send back "thanks, nothing is fixed"
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These kinds of topics are always so much fun.

I work with healthcare IT and get a fair share of vague tickets. "I can't print" is way too vague of a ticket. What department are you in? What computer are you on? What are you trying to print? What printer are you trying to print to?" The sad part is that all tickets first go through the helpdesk and they should first gather relevant information before sending it to one of the application teams. The printing setup within the application is convoluted so we really need to know more so we can make sure the right team(s) get involved.
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"What is that box plugged into the computer?"
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iWillBeHOTHkage posted...

Well make sure your dumb software works

"Hey we need a way to delete widgets in our software, could you add a delete button?"
Me: *Adds delete button with confirmation dialog*
"HELP WE DELETED OUR WIDGET FIX IT NOW"

GregShmedley posted...

Was opening a trouble ticket for someone having call quality issues on their PRI. I needed a few call examples of the issue so they could be traced on the back end and was told really? You just cant fix the issue? Why do you need call example?! He then proceeded to say it was unprofessional and that I needed to just do my job. Issue cleared after they rebooted their phone system, which we dont manage.

Uuuuugh, I hate both of those. It was the worst when I used to work for an MSP and we'd get people calling about X thing that we have no control over and then they're getting mad because we can't fix it in a timely manner. It's like, bro, we don't service your EHR and you should hear the ridiculous things this vendor is asking US to do to fix THEIR software.

Then of course the magic wand of "My computer won't power on, can't you just remote in and fix it? What is taking so long!"
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foxhound101 posted...

The sad part is that all tickets first go through the helpdesk

I've all but given up on first level helpdesk and I wish I could go back to when I started to see if I was as bad as what I've dealt with..... I know at the very least my spelling and note taking would be miles better than the shit I see. lol
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Shut up and fix it
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It should be illegal for people to be stupid about computers.
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E32005 posted...

Shut up and fix it

Sure, when I get around to it. Might take a few weeks.

That's how people with that attitude get treated.
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I get it that you don't know much about computers. There's plenty of things I don't know about. And I get it that when something doesn't work that it's frustrating. But I don't see how you not doing everything you can to help me get it fixed is a good idea. Plus, it's not like you're doing anything else apparently.
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