Current Events > Holy shit, my cousin and his wife abandoned their (15 year-old) son.

(+) Yeah! (+)

My cousin's wife has always been super, super strict and basically the definition of a helicopter parent. Well, apparently their son got caught smoking some pot, so they took him to my aunt's house (3-4 hours away from them) last week and left him there, then cut off all communication with my aunt. He hasn't been able to go back to school or anything for the past week, and they won't take my aunt's calls or anything to even talk about it.

I knew the wife was strict as hell, and that my cousin has always been a little bit aloof, but I never took either of them for the type to legitimately abandon their son. I'm pretty damn mindblown right now, while also being pretty disgusted with my cousin for doing that.

I realize that this is a bit of a blogFAQs topic, but I needed to vent it a bit because I'm pretty shocked.
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Is the son's name Seven

Your cousin and his wife sound like pretty fucked up people
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call the cops, its illegal to abandon your children.
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monkmith posted...

call the cops, its illegal to abandon your children.

This
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monkmith posted...

call the cops, its illegal to abandon your children.

this

then tell your cousin smoking pot is hardly an issue worth disowning your child over.
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It's too late to save him. Once the pot virus gets into his system it's impossible to cure and easily transmitted. Unfortunately it's the only way to be sure you won't get infected.

Why the fuck are you talking about this shit for here? Go do something about it.
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Doesn't sound legal

monkmith posted...

call the cops, its illegal to abandon your children.

I believe that's the plan. My aunt is going to pursue custody after this from what she's said.

Eevee-Trainer posted...

Your cousin and his wife sound like pretty fucked up people

Absolutely. I always knew that she was really strict and that my cousin was pretty hands-off about parenting and all, but I never saw them doing that.
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EpicKingdom_ posted...

Why the fuck are you talking about this shit for here? Go do something about it.

Because I live in Missouri, and they live in Pennsylvania. There's not a lot that I can realistically do about it that my aunt isn't already doing.
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Their son is more at risk of becoming a delinquent now that they're abandoned.

dotsdfe posted...

I realize that this is a bit of a blogFAQs topic

I'd rather have this content rather than what we usually get here

BTW, terrible parents.
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Yeah maybe make sure your aunt has contacted CPS and etc
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dotsdfe posted...

Absolutely. I always knew that she was really strict and that my cousin was pretty hands-off about parenting and all, but I never saw them doing that.

Hands-off in the most literal way apparently. >_>

Dark jokes aside I just can't wrap my mind around this. Like I'm one hell of a straight-edge because my own family has had drug and alcohol issues and such, but I just can't imagine kicking my kid out over weed. I mean even ignoring there's a lot worse he could have, too. That's just messed up and irrational. >_>

Hopefully your aunt wins custody.
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I never understood this style of parenting.

"You're gonna fuck up your life by doing this thing, so let me completely disown you and fuck yoy up mentally!"
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Bad_Mojo posted...

I'd rather have this content rather than what we usually get here

Are you telling me you don't like liberal-conservative-blahblahblah topic #3453230? :O
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monkmith posted...

call the cops, its illegal to abandon your children.

For real, do this.
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Trumpo posted...

Their son is more at risk of becoming a delinquent now that they're abandoned.

They're probably only concerned about how his behavior reflects on them.

SaithSayer posted...

Trumpo posted...

Their son is more at risk of becoming a delinquent now that they're abandoned.

They're probably only concerned about how his behavior reflects on them.

This could be true, and it's sad.
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so many people have such trash tier parents.
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Eevee-Trainer posted...

Your cousin and his wife sound like pretty fucked up people

yeah, they are wrecking his life over a little weed to then turn around and say "weed WILL ruin your life"
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Getting away from those nuts might be the best thing for him. I hope your aunt has more sense.
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My son got caught smoking weed, I better punish my sister for this!
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dotsdfe posted...

I believe that's the plan. My aunt is going to pursue custody after this from what she's said.

Hopefully, for the kid's sake, she doesn't have any trouble getting custody. I'd disown my cousin for some shit like this tbh. Bad parents can improve but abandoning your kid is a piece of shit thing to do no matter what.
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QwelzaarKane posted...

dotsdfe posted...

I believe that's the plan. My aunt is going to pursue custody after this from what she's said.

Hopefully, for the kid's sake, she doesn't have any trouble getting custody. I'd disown my cousin for some shit like this tbh. Bad parents can improve but abandoning your kid is a piece of shit thing to do no matter what.

Yeah, from what my mom said, my grandparents are pretty much disowning my cousin entirely, and my immediate family is pretty livid at him as well.

My other cousin (who lives in MO with us, as opposed to PA where her brother/mom/nieces and nephew including the abandoned kid all live) is pretty devastated. She's supposed to get married in the spring, but her mom and brother are being torn apart by this.

As far as I've heard, my aunt is pursuing everything for custody. She's a little bit worried about how things will go with my cousin's daughters and if she'll ever get to see them again or if they'll end up getting taken away, but I believe that she's already pursuing it.
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That's pretty sad, but it sounds like he'll be better off with your aunt anyways.
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maybe theres probably more to this? the weed thing may have been the one that broke the family. dont be surprised to hear new details and expect the worst to be said about the cousin.

so in family issues like this, sides will be taken and the truth is in-between the half truths.

all relationships involve communication and theres a breakdown of it if you see family cutting each other off from this.
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EpicKingdom_ posted...

Why the fuck are you talking about this shit for here? Go do something about it.

Shut the fuck up.
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Yeah, call the cops. And after that go find your cousin and slap the shit out of him. And his dumb bitch wife, too.
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HBOSS posted...

maybe theres probably more to this? the weed thing may have been the one that broke the family. dont be surprised to hear new details and expect the worst to be said about the cousin.

so in family issues like this, sides will be taken and the truth is in-between the half truths.

all relationships involve communication and theres a breakdown of it if you see family cutting each other off from this.

I've been wondering this one too honestly. The only info that I have right now is based on my aunt calling my mom and telling her, and then my mom relaying it to the rest of the family, so I don't really know if there was something else that set all of this off or not.
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If I were you, I'd sever all ties with them while continuing to see the aunt and the kid, and encourage the rest of your family to do the same, including disinviting them from all family events
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I'm not seeing this as some terrible thing until more time passes and we get more context.
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Knowledge_King posted...

I'm not seeing this as some terrible thing until more time passes and we get more context.

Abandoning your son to someone else isn't a terrible thing? It's a good thing you won't have children.
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CProtectionSvce posted...

Knowledge_King posted...

I'm not seeing this as some terrible thing until more time passes and we get more context.

Abandoning your son to someone else isn't a terrible thing? It's a good thing you won't have children.

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They're not "strict" they're just shitty people.
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Call 911
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CProtectionSvce posted...

Abandoning your son to someone else isn't a terrible thing? It's a good thing you won't have children.

Well if it's actual abandonment, yeah. Hence I need more time to pass. It could just be kicking him out of the house which is similar but less abrupt/shocking as they know what's going on.

And it depends on what the child's done. Was it just smoking? Was it a combination of things? Does the smoking do something terrible to the parents/one of the parents? Things like that.

I don't take anything for face value because there's always 3 sides to every story and nothing is black and white.
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Imagine being such a fucking bad parent that you literally give up on your child after they smoke harmless marijuana
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Knowledge_King posted...

CProtectionSvce posted...

Abandoning your son to someone else isn't a terrible thing? It's a good thing you won't have children.

Well if it's actual abandonment, yeah. Hence I need more time to pass. It could just be kicking him out of the house which is similar but less abrupt/shocking as they know what's going on.

And it depends on what the child's done. Was it just smoking? Was it a combination of things? Does the smoking do something terrible to the parents/one of the parents? Things like that.

I don't take anything for face value because there's always 3 sides to every story and nothing is black and white.

Alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you just missed the title. He's 15. You don't kick 15 year olds out and it's even enforced by law.
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dotsdfe posted...

My aunt is going to pursue custody after this from what she's said.

nicccee
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monkmith posted...

call the cops, its illegal to abandon your children.

This.

Get that fucking trash in trouble with the law.
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CProtectionSvce posted...

Alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you just missed the title. He's 15. You don't kick 15 year olds out and it's even enforced by law.

I thought 14 was the cut off age by law? I had a cousin kicked out at 14. He eventually came back, but yeah.

Either way, if a 15 year old isn't following your rules, I don't see why they can't be kicked out temporarily. Or even permanently if given to family (the family has to be willing obviously). The whole 'my house, my rules' thing has to be enforced to be taken seriously.
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Knowledge_King posted...

CProtectionSvce posted...

Alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you just missed the title. He's 15. You don't kick 15 year olds out and it's even enforced by law.

I thought 14 was the cut off age by law? I had a cousin kicked out at 14. He eventually came back, but yeah.

Either way, if a 15 year old isn't following your rules, I don't see why they can't be kicked out temporarily. Or even permanently if given to family (the family has to be willing obviously). The whole 'my house, my rules' thing has to be enforced to be taken seriously.

Where would you send a 15 year old that wasn't following the household rule of "don't ever smoke pot"?

My aunt is visiting at the moment since my grandpa has been having health issues (lung cancer), so the kid is staying with my uncle for the time being.

The latest on the situation:

-Apparently it was more due to fighting than specifically the pot, but the pot was the final straw that caused them to kick him out.

-My cousin came by my aunt's house and talked to his son a bit the day before she left, but the cousin pretty much said that he didn't want to take the son back.

-The son called his mom from my uncle's house to apologize to her, but she didn't accept the apology and wouldn't take him back.

-My aunt fully intends to sue for full custody once she goes back up there.

That's all she's said. She's clearly upset about it and hasn't wanted to talk about it that much (that, and my grandpa has been in rough shape and was back in the ER today, so it's been tumultuous regardless), but that's what she's told me anyway.
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Sorry about your grandpa.

It sounds as though living with your aunt might be the best thing for your cousin. I don't think it counts as abandonment if they left him with a competent adult, but I'm not sure.

I have a 14-year-old son with lots of challenges. It's not easy being a parent. At least they took him somewhere safe. That's better than kicking him out flat and/or hurting him, as some parents do.

You're a good cousin to care about him this way.
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Knowledge_King posted...

CProtectionSvce posted...

Alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you just missed the title. He's 15. You don't kick 15 year olds out and it's even enforced by law.

I thought 14 was the cut off age by law? I had a cousin kicked out at 14. He eventually came back, but yeah.

Either way, if a 15 year old isn't following your rules, I don't see why they can't be kicked out temporarily. Or even permanently if given to family (the family has to be willing obviously). The whole 'my house, my rules' thing has to be enforced to be taken seriously.

Unless you don't live in the US you can't kick out anyone until 18 though you can go through a legal procedure to emancipate them at 16 with both parties consenting.
"Kick out kids temporarily" sounds like something done a century ago.
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Ruvan22 posted...

Where would you send a 15 year old that wasn't following the household rule of "don't ever smoke pot"?

With a family member. Maybe a friend's house. Maybe a homeless shelter.
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Knowledge_King posted...

CProtectionSvce posted...

Alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you just missed the title. He's 15. You don't kick 15 year olds out and it's even enforced by law.

I thought 14 was the cut off age by law? I had a cousin kicked out at 14. He eventually came back, but yeah.

Either way, if a 15 year old isn't following your rules, I don't see why they can't be kicked out temporarily. Or even permanently if given to family (the family has to be willing obviously). The whole 'my house, my rules' thing has to be enforced to be taken seriously.

Oh shut the fuck up you garbage-ass troll.
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