Current Events > "But what if the man wants to keep the baby!?"

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/
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"We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born.

I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here?"

Fucking yikes

A deadbeat mom...who pays 125% child support every month.

As if
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Womp_Womp posted...

"We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born.

I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here?"

Fucking yikes

fuck that guy jeezus
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__aCEr__ posted...

A deadbeat mom...who pays 125% child support every month.

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"I love my son, but I kinda hate him too"

yeah, that's healthy
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This is just my curbstone opinion, but I think this is about a lot more than the son. He seems to have a ton of unresolved issues with her.
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Kids ARE exhausting and will get you annoyed/pissed on many occasions. You still love them, though. It's obvious who has no children.. lol

It's ridiculous to try to force some level of custody on her, especially since it would probably be more damaging for him to be around her. Even if she isn't mean to him, she'd likely not be loving at all and it would torment him.

She made her own shitty decision and things should remain as they are. He just has to double down and figure out solutions to his daily issues. Change up feeding/nap times to get him to sleep when he does and change up his discipline setup to find out what works so his kid learns what not to do.

dude seems like he's using the son in a way...
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Fuck that dude. He basically legally forced her to go through months of body altering stuff because he was dead set on being a parent, now her paying even MORE than what the law required isn't enough? Fuck this guy.
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Sounds like his family could step up more so he can get more rest. That's clearly the issue here.

ugh
he abuses he and forces her to go through agonizing pain
then bad mouths her

Men have no rights with kids. We dont get to choose to keep the kid are custody is given, by default, to the mother. Why do we still do this? Why do fathers not get time with their kids?? The system is so balanced in favor of women that its no wonder men dont want kids anymore.
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southcoast09 posted...

Men have no rights with kids. We dont get to choose to keep the kid are custody is given, by default, to the mother. Why do we still do this? Why do fathers not get time with their kids?? The system is so balanced in favor of women that its no wonder men dont want kids anymore.

The system favors the person who goes through the 7 months of shit and are forced to PHYSIOLOGICALLY CHANGE FOREVER to have a child? Yup, that's bullshit. -_-
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^ that's not what's going on with the story in the link

edit: at post 14
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southcoast09 posted...

Men have no rights with kids. We dont get to choose to keep the kid are custody is given, by default, to the mother. Why do we still do this? Why do fathers not get time with their kids?? The system is so balanced in favor of women that its no wonder men dont want kids anymore.

Did you even read the quote or are you just spouting nonsense?

Hes in one of the most stressful phases of raising a child right now. Itll get better as long as he sticks it out.

Kinda crazy the mom doesnt give a fuck about the kid though. I could understand not wanting to have the child, and even having none to minimal input with raising it. But paying extra specifically not to have any interaction... damn. Must hate kids or something.

southcoast09 posted...

Men have no rights with kids. We dont get to choose to keep the kid are custody is given, by default, to the mother. Why do we still do this? Why do fathers not get time with their kids?? The system is so balanced in favor of women that its no wonder men dont want kids anymore.

Hello my name is southcoast and I specialize in jamming my 3 quarts of unasked-for opinions in a 1 quart space of a specific tangentially related issue.
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That guys sentiments are what make me fear ever becoming a parent. That sense of well, I did it and it sucks but since its not as simple as a hobby you can drop if it doesnt work out, youre stuck with it. You cant play fast and loose with a childs well-being and development. The worst thing Id ever want for my offspring is for them to grow up in a household where Ive spent years wishing I could have reneged on the whole thing.

Maybe Ill like being a dad someday but theres no way to really tell until you go through with it and then theres no try-before-you-buy. The responses hes getting are also the sorts of things Im worried Id hear if I started complaining about being a dad (unsympathetic sentiments about being selfish and careless, which would only make things worse).
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southcoast09 posted...

Men have no rights with kids. We dont get to choose to keep the kid are custody is given, by default, to the mother. Why do we still do this? Why do fathers not get time with their kids?? The system is so balanced in favor of women that its no wonder men dont want kids anymore.

Come on man you could at least read the story before shoving your opinion down peoples throats. It was even posted in plaintext in this topic.
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SolidSonicEX posted...

That guys sentiments are what make me fear ever becoming a parent.

In truth, some of us aren't meant for it.

Thankfully I got my answer when my nieces were born. I'd never loved anything more than I loved them when I first held them. While I can't say I'd ever be the best father, I feel confident I'd at least love them unconditionally.
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Womp_Womp posted...

"We weren't in a serious relationship when she got pregnant. She has never met our son. Even after the birth she had no desire to see him. We went to court to figure custody and support could be figured out and I have 100% full legal and physical custody. Her name is on the birth certificate but she has no custody and no right to visitation or to make things like medical or education decisions. She didn't want any of that. Every month she pays 125% of the court ordered child support. She says that if I ever marry someone who wants to adopt him she will agree but until then she'll pay support. It's been this way since our son was born.

I'm raising our son all on my own. He is 18 months old now and he has never met her and I don't even have any photos of her even. I am burned out and hate being a single parent. I love my son but I resent him. My family tries to help when they can but I do it most of the time. I would never hurt or neglect him but I am exhausted all the time. I tried to go to court to give her split custody but because she wanted an abortion and I didn't and she made it clear she would never be involved after the birth, and because we went to court when he was 6 months old but because we already went after he was born and agreed on things and now she pays more support than is court ordered the judge said he can't force her to look after him. I haven't seen her in almost a year and the last I heard she has a tummy tuck and laser stretch marks treatment and is working at a gym. She also told her friends and family she is an egg donor and not a mother. She is a deadbeat mom and the court won't do anything and is forcing me to struggle as a single parent. Do I have any legal remedies here?"

Fucking yikes

Deadbeat mom, but paying child support.

Somebody doen't know what the term means.
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HylianFox posted...

"I love my son, but I kinda hate him too"

yeah, that's healthy

I'll bet his parents could say the exact same of him.
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It feels to me that it's less that he wanted the child but instead waned to keep her and now he has that child that he fought for and has some buyer's remorse. She didn't want the child and from what i've read from people on this site regarding this situation she did what they have said to do which is have the baby and give it to the father, the only person here who is really suffering from this is probably gonna be the kid.
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I'm hoping this is some fake copypasta story intentionally made to rile as many people up as possible. I mean, it was on a throwaway account.
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southcoast09 posted...

Men have no rights with kids. We dont get to choose to keep the kid are custody is given, by default, to the mother. Why do we still do this? Why do fathers not get time with their kids?? The system is so balanced in favor of women that its no wonder men dont want kids anymore.

Not at all surprised you didnt read any of the OP and went straight to spouting MRA horse shit