Current Events > What do you think Doug Funnie is doing today?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I imagine he's a Honker Burger cashier talking to the taxidermy stuffed corpse of Porkchop about his plans to Mark David Chapman the lead singer of the Beets to win Patti's heart once and for all from Roger.

probably shot by a cop while tripping balls in a daydream
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Honking Skeeter.
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I drew him today


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Well Doug is a story of the creator's life, and here's what happened with his life.

Its my ten-year reunion, and I didnt go. I was in New York working like crazy as a freelancer and just trying to make it there. And I got a phone call in New York and its Patti. The real Patti. And my hearts beating fast. Shes like, I was at the reunion! You werent! and I was like, YeahsorryI had to work. And she goes, I found out you live in New York. Guess whatI do, too! And she told me where she lives. We lived across Central Park from each other. And she says, Why dont you come over for dinner?

So now were in a Doug show. Im like, what do I wear? What will she look like!? All thats happening as Im walking across Central Park to her apartment, just wondering and just hoping, all those things. I was, at the time, very available.

I get to the door, and you get buzzed up in New York, and so I walk up to the apartment and I hear the lock turnits getting ready to happenand she opens the door, and shes perfect. Just perfect. She just looks spectacular and shes so happy, and her arms fly up and we hug, and Im just like [frightened guttural gasping noises]. She backs up and she goes Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs! [Laughs.] It sounds like Im making this up, right? And Im like, Yeah yeah, uh huh! Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look! And she was just funny and fun and innocent, but its like Doug and Patti together again, ten years later, right?

So this is all wonderful, right? And then she wheels and goes, Oh, Jimmy, I want you to meet my husband.

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Squall28 posted...

I get to the door, and you get buzzed up in New York, and so I walk up to the apartment and I hear the lock turnits getting ready to happenand she opens the door, and shes perfect. Just perfect. She just looks spectacular and shes so happy, and her arms fly up and we hug, and Im just like [frightened guttural gasping noises]. She backs up and she goes Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs! [Laughs.] It sounds like Im making this up, right? And Im like, Yeah yeah, uh huh! Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look! And she was just funny and fun and innocent, but its like Doug and Patti together again, ten years later, right?

Roger Klotz

then he decides to gun down the lead singer of The Beets to get her attention

Banging on a trash can.
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Disgraced engineer that had a bridge collapse because he was daydreaming while at work. He moved back into his dad's house and uses that quailman belt for self affixiation while he jerks off to his hs yearbook that has pages stuck together due to all of the Patty mayonnaise.

One day he will be found like David Carradine hanged by his own belt with his sister's beret wrapped around his dick. What a miserable excuse for a human being. No one will mourn his loss.
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Racking up high fuckin' scores on his Super Pretendo.
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Jiek_Fafn posted...

Disgraced engineer that had a bridge collapse because he was daydreaming while at work. He moved back into his dad's house and uses that quailman belt for self affixiation while he jerks off to his hs yearbook that has pages stuck together due to all of the Patty mayonnaise.

One day he will be found like David Carradine hanged by his own belt with his sister's beret wrapped around his dick. What a miserable excuse for a human being. No one will mourn his loss.

Doug couldn't make it through college. My guess is he that Skeeter, Chalky, Roger, and all of them stopped with his crazy ass in high school and he ended up working at the Honker Burger peeling beets.

Then 20 or so years later Patti and Roger come through hand and hand happily married for the reunion, he hears Killer Tofu on the oldies station, and decides that he's going to kill the lead singer of the Beets.

Squall28 posted...

Well Doug is a story of the creator's life, and here's what happened with his life.

Its my ten-year reunion, and I didnt go. I was in New York working like crazy as a freelancer and just trying to make it there. And I got a phone call in New York and its Patti. The real Patti. And my hearts beating fast. Shes like, I was at the reunion! You werent! and I was like, YeahsorryI had to work. And she goes, I found out you live in New York. Guess whatI do, too! And she told me where she lives. We lived across Central Park from each other. And she says, Why dont you come over for dinner?

So now were in a Doug show. Im like, what do I wear? What will she look like!? All thats happening as Im walking across Central Park to her apartment, just wondering and just hoping, all those things. I was, at the time, very available.

I get to the door, and you get buzzed up in New York, and so I walk up to the apartment and I hear the lock turnits getting ready to happenand she opens the door, and shes perfect. Just perfect. She just looks spectacular and shes so happy, and her arms fly up and we hug, and Im just like [frightened guttural gasping noises]. She backs up and she goes Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs! [Laughs.] It sounds like Im making this up, right? And Im like, Yeah yeah, uh huh! Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look! And she was just funny and fun and innocent, but its like Doug and Patti together again, ten years later, right?

So this is all wonderful, right? And then she wheels and goes, Oh, Jimmy, I want you to meet my husband.

Oof!
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Fucking Patty Mayonnaise and posting about it on his Web journal.
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Squall28 posted...

She backs up and she goes Look, Jimmy! Boobs! I got my boobs! [Laughs.] It sounds like Im making this up, right? And Im like, Yeah yeah, uh huh! Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look!

This part's funny because Patti in the cartoon was also quite flat
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gguirao posted...

Fucking Patty Mayonnaise and posting about it on his Web journal.

Not unless he has her in a Silence of the Lambs type pit in his basement

AW EE OO
KILLER TOFU!