Current Events > Raising a half-Black child in Japan sounds dreadful.

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/raising-biracial-daughter-japan-blackface_us_5a999d12e4b089ec3539fc3f

Excerpts:

I talk to Kantra similarly, but everything outside of our home commands a drastically altered conversation. Even though she was born and is being raised in Japan, shes not considered Japanese because she doesnt look it. At first, she didnt understand why children wouldnt play with her. Unable to explain racism to my toddler, Id get frustrated. Forget those kids. Youre not like them, Id say. I couldve easily been talking to my childhood self. Daddys not mad at you. Daddy loves you. Youre so fearless. Dont ever lose that.

When I go to pick up and drop off my daughter at school, the Japanese housewives remind me that I dont belong here. Glaring at me, they seldom acknowledge my presence. Im either invisible or a nuisance. For them, Im a foreigner whos supposed to be at work. To call myself a stay-at-home father is a euphemism for Im doing it wrong. My presence highlights my childs different features and upbringing.

The mothers kids are their avatars, playing out a childrens version of excluding a foreigner, who is my child. The playground mothers are the same as the housewives; they are nice to Kantra to save face for their children, who would otherwise bully her. Here, children are taught the Japanese proverb: The nail that sticks out gets hammered in.

When Kantra was 2 years old, she ran up to a boy on the playground and asked him to play. The boy squared up to her like a boxer and swung, stopping his fist inches away from her smiling face. Children would flee from her as if she were King Kong. Kowai (scary), a girl said, gripping her mother like one would a life preserver to keep from drowning. Come on, lets go, Kantra said, pulling the girls arm. Its heartbreaking to witness her innocence denied.

Nearly every day, the message Kantra got was the same: Stay away. Through the years, Kantra learned to befriend mothers as a conduit to playing with their children. Now, shes about to finish her first year of preschool. She cant sit still and she constantly sings. Life pulses out of her. Its exhausting for me, but I dont want her to lose that. At school, she had to find her own way. She already knows that shes different. Im brown girl, she says. Im the same as Daddy, but different from Mommy.

Watching Kantra develop has further complicated my relationship with this country. As of late, Kantras been saying, Daddy, I dont want to go to school. I want to stay home with you and Mommy. Oftentimes on rides home, she doesnt want to tell me about her day. I cant figure out if shes just tired or reeling from a troubling experience.

In the morning, I make her look in the mirror and say, I love myself. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am strong. To confront an opposing environment, Kantra mimics my behavior. My awareness of influencing her turns my rage into an elastic band of patience.

After almost seven years, I have gotten used to Japan. Uncomfortable spaces have become familiar. I love Japan for giving me my family. We have a good life, and this country is beautiful. But for Kantras sake, were moving back to the U.S. after my wife gets a visa. She needs to be around more people who look like her. She has so much to be proud of, and shell never know it living here, where black people are seen exclusively through a Japanese filter.

I wonder how one would go about changing this? I know a lot of alt-right types would cry "diversity ruining Japan" or some shit at that, but children being treated like this for something they can't control is not right.
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Didn't a half Black half Japanese girl won like Miss Japan or something like 2 years back?
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Countries with an extremely ethnically homogeneous makeup tend to be unreasonably xenophobic towards minorities.
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Veggeta_MAX posted...

Didn't a half Black half Japanese girl won like Miss Japan or something like 2 years back?

She did:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ariana_Miyamoto

And even she faced discrimination, and her victory was somewhat controversial.
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My wife and I are in awe of Kantras persistence. If she learns anything from us, we hope its empathy. We dont teach her that shes above anyone else. But when she comes home from school and says, Daddy, black is different, I tell her, No baby, white is different.

but he was in japan tho??
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Solar_Crimson posted...

Veggeta_MAX posted...

Didn't a half Black half Japanese girl won like Miss Japan or something like 2 years back?

She did:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ariana_Miyamoto

And even she faced discrimination, and her victory was somewhat controversial.

She's cute. I'd marry her for sure. There's also a JAV half Black and half Japanese that I found hot as hell.
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bob742omb posted...

My wife and I are in awe of Kantras persistence. If she learns anything from us, we hope its empathy. We dont teach her that shes above anyone else. But when she comes home from school and says, Daddy, black is different, I tell her, No baby, white is different.

but he was in japan tho??

If dude wasn't an idiot he would have said everybody is different.
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Back in college, a black friend of mine did a semester abroad in Japan, and per her essentially everywhere she went she always encountered the phenomenon of little Japanese kids laughing hysterically at the sight of her.

Meanwhile, the white friends reported that for men it was essentially easy mode to get laid while white women got harassed significantly more often at bars.
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bob742omb posted...

My wife and I are in awe of Kantras persistence. If she learns anything from us, we hope its empathy. We dont teach her that shes above anyone else. But when she comes home from school and says, Daddy, black is different, I tell her, No baby, white is different.

but he was in japan tho??

Yeah that part is all kinds of weird.
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japan is like 99% ethnically homogenous

what exactly are people expecting?
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cavalierking posted...

japan is like 99% ethnically homogenous

what exactly are people expecting?

Basic human decency. Living in a homogeneous country doesn't excuse a lack of it.
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pikachupwnage posted...

bob742omb posted...

My wife and I are in awe of Kantras persistence. If she learns anything from us, we hope its empathy. We dont teach her that shes above anyone else. But when she comes home from school and says, Daddy, black is different, I tell her, No baby, white is different.

but he was in japan tho??

Yeah that part is all kinds of weird.

very much so
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Gheb posted...

Basic human decency. Living in a homogeneous country doesn't excuse a lack of it.

nobody said it does

though it's not an excuse to be naive about where you choose to live
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Gheb posted...

cavalierking posted...

japan is like 99% ethnically homogenous

what exactly are people expecting?

Basic human decency. Living in a homogeneous country doesn't excuse a lack of it.

Seriously, this. What the fuck at some humans. How is "ethnically homogeneous" some kind of validation or whatever? I don't get into these kinds of news stories posted on ce but this one, this one hits too close to home and literally makes me rage because I'm powerless to stop this adorable child from enduring what I had to.

I do hate the vindictive part of me that wants to show this article to my friend who's obsessed with japanese culture (including the anime crap) just so he can realize they're not the amazing "pure" people he so desperately puts on a pedestal.

I tend to believe you're not born racist, you're taught it. So for shame on these mothers. But I know a thing or two about that.

cavalierking posted...

japan is like 99% ethnically homogenous

what exactly are people expecting?

Japan is a 1st world country and has a heavy impact to the rest of the world(especially western world). They need to act like the world leaders.
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See, it's shit like this why I have a love/hate relationship with Japan.
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I would suggest that dude to move to Iceland and try to raise his child there, see how it goes.
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in most of Japan, it's rare to see a foreigner. I was in a town called Nagoya and I am white, and people did double takes on the street when they saw me. Japanese people just aren't used to seeing non Japanese. it shocks them. and with the little kids, at least some of them, I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt that maybe they just don't understand like the girl who said "scary!". she might not understand what black people are. and never saw one before and thinks something is wrong with her.

xyphilia posted...

Gheb posted...

cavalierking posted...

japan is like 99% ethnically homogenous

what exactly are people expecting?

Basic human decency. Living in a homogeneous country doesn't excuse a lack of it.

Seriously, this. What the fuck at some humans. How is "ethnically homogeneous" some kind of validation or whatever? I don't get into these kinds of news stories posted on ce but this one, this one hits too close to home and literally makes me rage because I'm powerless to stop this adorable child from enduring what I had to.

I do hate the vindictive part of me that wants to show this article to my friend who's obsessed with japanese culture (including the anime crap) just so he can realize they're not the amazing "pure" people he so desperately puts on a pedestal.

I tend to believe you're not born racist, you're taught it. So for shame on these mothers. But I know a thing or two about that.

Some people approach stuff they dont teally get like computers because its easier to feel more grounded that way
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Samaellives91 posted...

See, it's shit like this why I have a love/hate relationship with Japan.

every ethnically homogenous country has this issue

even those that aren't ethnically homogenous (e.g. america) have this issue

wanna know how many times i've been asked where i'm really from, whether i speak english or not (despite being born and raised american), what my "real" name is, etc.
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"She needs to be around more people who look like her"

What a shocker.
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Veggeta_MAX posted...

cavalierking posted...

japan is like 99% ethnically homogenous

what exactly are people expecting?

Japan is a 1st world country and has a heavy impact to the rest of the world(especially western world). They need to act like the world leaders.

firsr they can dig up their war criminals and trash their bones
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Yeah Japan is pretty bad about that sort of thing. I was watching The Amazing race and they did a leg or two in Japan and everyone was really friendly, nice and helpful to when the contestants asked for directions and stuff... except in the case of a black couple. They were avoided or given the "I can't understand you" treatment. The ended up being eliminated because they had so much trouble getting taxis that they fell far behind. I can't even imagine what sort of shit wasn't even aired. The locals who judged/helped in challenges were fine, but they get paid to do that.
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NINExATExSEVEN posted...

"She needs to be around more people who look like her"

What a shocker.

Not surprised your usual suspect self would cherry pick that
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NINExATExSEVEN posted...

"She needs to be around more people who look like her"

What a shocker.

What's the alternative? Where she is now, she's being conditioned to think that her dark skin makes her ugly.
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always fishy how people say "well thats japan" almost like their trying to justify their own racism and secretly hope it gets normalized in america
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Anthony, a comedian from the group "Matenrou" is half black. On the show "Documental", he shown these pictures of his parents.



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I guess the Anime "Naruto" was trying to counter some of this racism since how the Village treated Naruto for being the ninetails was VERY similar to what I just read.
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xyphilia posted...

I tend to believe you're not born racist, you're taught it. So for shame on these mothers. But I know a thing or two about that.

https://nypost.com/2017/04/13/your-baby-is-a-little-bit-racist-science-says/

In general there is quite a bit of literature supporting a natural bias toward your in-group and against your out-group. I am surprised the person is experiencing these things so often in Tokyo where black people aren't rare and many schools have half Japanese children. But the logic he has behind having her be with people who belong to her tribe is not something people should just laugh at and mock. It is well supported by research even if it isn't a pleasant thing to think about.
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bob742omb posted...

No baby, white is different.

Honorary Aryans
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In the 2nd pic, his dad looks like a fat, stoned Neil degrasse tyson lol
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kuwab0 posted...

bob742omb posted...

No baby, white is different.

Honorary Aryans

Hey, they fought hard for it. Gotta own it now.

Japan has a rising alt left population...
There's a rising amount of people over there that are either communist or want to preserve the Pre-WW2 lifestyle/era of thinking.
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ImTheMacheteGuy posted...

In the 2nd pic, his dad looks like a fat, stoned Neil degrasse tyson lol

Lmao
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kuwab0 posted...

bob742omb posted...

No baby, white is different.

Honorary Aryans

Alt right loves Japan

The group mentality of Japan disgusts me. Even if there is one child that wanted to play with her they wouldn't because they would get targeted as well

Darkrobotisback posted...

Japan has a rising alt left population...
There's a rising amount of people over there that are either communist or want to preserve the Pre-WW2 lifestyle/era of thinking.

Source?

Ruvan22 posted...

Darkrobotisback posted...

Japan has a rising alt left population...
There's a rising amount of people over there that are either communist or want to preserve the Pre-WW2 lifestyle/era of thinking.

Source?

He is full of it. Communist party is about as strong as it ever was (read not very). I live in a Communist stronghold part of Japan, and most members are old people. The Communist party in Japan is pretty mild. They aren't as prone to saying or doing bombastic things like leftists in America are.
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K181 posted...

Back in college, a black friend of mine did a semester abroad in Japan, and per her essentially everywhere she went she always encountered the phenomenon of little Japanese kids laughing hysterically at the sight of her.

Meanwhile, the white friends reported that for men it was essentially easy mode to get laid while white women got harassed significantly more often at bars.

In Southeast Asia if youre a fairly good looking white guy its supposed to be a joke how easy it is.
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The unfortunate reality is that a lot of Japanese people just don't get it. They don't get why their behavior needlessly harms others, and attempts to bring it up means you're rocking the boat. And boat rocking is unacceptable, so they are even less likely to listen.

Japan has crafted a society that is almost miraculously resistant to change in key areas.

Dragonblade01 posted...

The unfortunate reality is that a lot of Japanese people just don't get it. They don't get why their behavior needlessly harms others, and attempts to bring it up means you're rocking the boat. And boat rocking is unacceptable, so they are even less likely to listen.

Japan has crafted a society that is almost miraculously resistant to change in key areas.

Yeah, it's almost infuriating even as an outsider looking in. I'm willing to bet that quite a few Japanese people recognize the issues their society have, but won't or can't say anything about it, because it'd make the person look bad instead, and won't result in any improvements being done. Perhaps because there's still too many old geezers resistant to change running the country.
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Solar_Crimson posted...

Veggeta_MAX posted...

Didn't a half Black half Japanese girl won like Miss Japan or something like 2 years back?

She did:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ariana_Miyamoto

And even she faced discrimination, and her victory was somewhat controversial.

that was fucking badass
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Axiom posted...

The group mentality of Japan disgusts me.

sylverlolol posted...

pikachupwnage posted...

bob742omb posted...

My wife and I are in awe of Kantras persistence. If she learns anything from us, we hope its empathy. We dont teach her that shes above anyone else. But when she comes home from school and says, Daddy, black is different, I tell her, No baby, white is different.

but he was in japan tho??

Yeah that part is all kinds of weird.

very much so

how is that weird? shes black, not white.
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Is it easy to predict Japanese parents reaction to a half-black child? oh yea, children=public community.
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Japanese parents will always respond negatively to children who look different unless the particular area has a relatively high concentration of foreigners (and even then, they still might).

The reason is fear of the different and unknown. When Japanese people see someone who doesn't look Japanese, they assume they're foreign. Even if you are a native-born Japanese citizen. As a result, they assume you can't speak Japanese and, more critically, can't understand and follow Japanese rules.

This is because homogeneous societies tend to view their system as special and fundamentally incomprehensible to outsiders. The most we can be expected to do is imitate it. That's not to say that some foreigners don't cause problems, but the issues arise even if we don't.

people tend to be homogeneous. look at america for a great example of this, despite a clusterfuck of diversity, we still have lots of areas that are mostly broken up by racial and even religious lines.

Japan, which has refused to adopt the diversity programs of the western world, is especially concerned with maintain their homogeneous status.

and back to america....these many diverse groups do not tend to get along. just look at politics for a prime example....its how do you appeal to black voters, white voters, latin voters, etc. no one unifies because they dig down in the trenches of their racial and cultural identity. diversity tends to divide

homogeneous societies know this. Japan isn't stupid. there is a reason they aren't letting in huge swarms of refugees. they don't want the problems of the third world in their country combined with the inherent problems of massive diversity.

it isn't racism....but Japan and it's culture and the race of Japanese people would forever change by huge amounts of diversity in Japan. thats the whole reason Japan still is a unique culture. this is an attitude western countries would be wise to learn as we just cannot keep absorbing large chunks of diversity and expect our countries to remain the same or even retain first world status.