Current Events > Would you be able to raise a child with Down Syndrome?

(+) Yeah! (+)

My fiance is pregnant with twins and unfortunately we received some troubling news during our last visit with her doctor. One of the babies has the possibility of a chromosomal abnormality and could be at risk of being born with Down Syndrome. It's not definite and she's going for a test on Thursday morning which will give us a definitive answer.

If the babies placenta does indeed test positive for Down Syndrome we have the option to terminate the pregnancy or keep going. It's a very tough decision. Personally I would not want to raise a special needs child. Along with being so much more difficult for a parent, I almost feel like it's unfair to the child. Yes they are alive and living but at what cost?

We have not had this discussion yet because we are hoping for the best. I'm scared and don't understand why this is happening to us. We met with a genetics counselor and neither of us have these chromosome issues in our family history.

Just wanted to see if anyone can share any similar experiences or have an opinion on the subject. Thanks.
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Absolutely not. Don't bring a life into this world that's born to suffer. Nobody deserves to live life with down syndrome
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EvalAngell posted...

I almost feel like it's unfair to the child

Killing them would be unfair, giving them a chance at life would be fair

Not all with down syndrome lead miserable lives, and many people without it still live miserable lives

absolutely not
your life becomes secondary to theirs. and not in a "when you have children you only care about them" way, I mean in a "you have to be incredibly wealthy to even have something resembling a life"
on a less selfish note, I think that if you plan to have other children / the other twin doesn't have Down Syndrome, then you're not going to be able to give them the attention they deserve. once you and your fiance die then the burden falls entirely on them to take care of the other. I don't think it's right to give such a burden to your other child/children

my wife and I talked about it. right now we don't plan on having children but if one happens by accident we will be keeping it. however, we did agree that any major disabilities and abnormalities would result in an abortion
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Kinda surprised at these responses.
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I don't think I could.
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Personally, I would be for abortion.
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TheMarthKoopa posted...

Not all with down syndrome lead miserable lives, and many people without it still live miserable lives

Thats deep bro
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Me personally? I wouldn't be able to raise any child. That being said, I absolutely do not think down syndrome justifies abortion if you were otherwise planning on going through with the pregnancy; people with Down syndrome have a lot of love to give & deserve to be alive just as much as humans without down syndrome.
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KILBOTz posted...

I don't think I could.

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Honestly, I would probably terminate the pregnancy for numerous different reasons.

The child with down syndrome is going to have an extremely difficult life.
It will be more expensive then a child w/o
It will be more stressful then a child w/o
your lives will become extremely difficult.

I honestly don't think it's fair to bring a child with down syndrome into the world knowingly...
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I've seen a few who drive, work and take care of demselves. Dey are always da nicest of people too so i dunno if i would choose to kill dem like most users itt tbh
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No, I'm not the right person to take care of a child with down syndrome.
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Vegy posted...

I've seen a few who drive, work and take care of demselves. Dey are always da nicest of people too so i dunno if i would choose to kill dem like most users itt tbh

Said person is incapable of thought at this time in the pregnancy. The "child" will never even know it existed...

Logically going forward with the pregnancy (assuming positive for down syndrome) is a TERRIBLE decision...
I would actually argue the most HUMANE decision is abortion...
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There's always adoption, as scary as it sounds. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent.
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MrK3V posted...

There's always adoption, as scary as it sounds. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent.

This would be cruel. No one is going to adopt a child with Down Syndrome. They'll be bounced around different care systems until they end up at one of those assisted living facilities never knowing what a family is.
Abortion would be the more humane option.

Just out of curiosity, TC, when you say "terminating the pregnancy", does that mean killing both of the babies or just the one with Down syndrome?

KarmaMuffin posted...

MrK3V posted...

There's always adoption, as scary as it sounds. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent.

This would be cruel. No one is going to adopt a child with Down Syndrome. They'll be bounced around different care systems until they end up at one of those assisted living facilities never knowing what a family is.
Abortion would be the more humane option.

Not at all. There are many families who primarily focus on children with downs syndrome. I've got so many parents I work with who have adopted children with disabilities.
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well if the placenta tests positive for DS then it means both would have it. They are both in the same placenta and if they went the distance they'd be identical twins. (Fraternal twins have two separate placentas.) So yes, both would be terminated. It's all or nothing in this case. My fiance also had a miscarriage last year so this has been extremely hard on us.
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Try potentially finding a complimentary therapy session somewhere. Go with your fiance. Have a personal talk.
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EvalAngell posted...

well if the placenta tests positive for DS then it means both would have it. They are both in the same placenta and if they went the distance they'd be identical twins. So yes, both would be terminated. It's all or nothing in this case. My fiance also had a miscarriage last year so this has been extremely hard on us.

I missed this point...

So you would have TWO children with down syndrome?

Definite NO

damn man, i feel for you, but this is a bad idea on SO many levels if the placenta tests positive for down syndrome...
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Yeah I wasn't very clear initially. I think we would be OK terminating one of the pregnancies if we knew the other would be healthy in the end. But yeah...it's not a good situation. Just need to hope that this test comes back negative.
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I would not be able to though, to answer your question.
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The only people who would say yes to this are people who let emotions get in the way of logic here.

Because there is NO LOGICAL reason whatsoever to have two kids with down syndrome if it can be prevented...

I probably sound like a cold asshole, but it's the truth.
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They've done polls and studies on this question before. The result?

People are full of fucking bullshit.

In polls, the overwhelming response was they would not abort a child with down syndrome or whatever. Because we're good people, of course.

And then they compared that with the actual statistical numbers of how many people aborted in this same situation, and the numbers are basically flip flopped.

You don't know until you really are in that situation.
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Dustin1280 posted...

The only people who would say yes to this are people who let emotions get in the way of logic here.

Because there is NO LOGICAL reason whatsoever to have two kids with down syndrome if it can be prevented...

I probably sound like a cold asshole, but it's the truth.

I'm inclined to agree. Kids are enough of a burden on your life as is, but two kids with Down syndrome? Might as well kiss your entire life goodbye.

No but I don't believe in abortion so it'd be put up for adoption.
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Knowledge_King posted...

No but I don't believe in abortion so it'd be put up for adoption.

You aren't raising them yourselves, even though they came from you. In fact you are completely abandoning them "to the system."

And you aren't preventing the problem before it's an issue either...

Your solution is arguably the most selfish immoral thing you could possibly do.
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my sister has down syndrome and she's the sweetest little thing. i would definitely abort if my child was going to be born with developmental disabilities

Dustin1280 posted...

Knowledge_King posted...

No but I don't believe in abortion so it'd be put up for adoption.

You aren't raising them yourselves, even though they came from you. In fact you are completely abandoning them "to the system."

And you aren't preventing the problem before it's an issue either...

Your solution is arguably the most selfish immoral thing you could possibly do.

OK.
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