Current Events > What age would you approve your of daughter having sexual relationships?

(+) Yeah! (+)

It's not something any parent wants to think about but it is something they have to deal with.

So let's say for example you're watching TV one day after work when your 16 year old daughter comes in and asks you what you think about her boyfriend Adrian who as you might expect for a 17 year old teen wants to take their relationship to the next level.

"He's really smart, sweet and funny and he doesn't judge me for liking Michael Bubl and Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon. He really wants to do it but after mom died, I don't know. I wouldn't want to do anything without your blessing? So what do you think?"



What would you say?
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Never. Id never approve. Accept it, sure.
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When she decides she's ready.
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When she is 18 and I don't have to deal with fucking accidental kids
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__Y2JosHBK___ posted...

When she is 18 and I don't have to deal with fucking accidental kids

18 is right.
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However old she is when I'm dead (provided that she's 18+ by then).
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Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

I never understood the "overprotective father" cliche that's so prominent.
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Asherlee10 posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

This.

If I had a daughter (or any child), I would rather them feel comfortable coming to talk to me about it so that I can give her the things she needs to be safe and actually enjoy it.

My 14 year old son asked me what a rimjob is last night while were playing GoW2. I'm glad he feels that open....but damn kid use the internet for some things lol
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Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

Yeah about that
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After I'm dead.
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Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

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Id tell my daughter the same thing my dad said to my sister:

No sex till youre married and no getting married till youre 35.

Seems like a good rule tbh

he was obviously joking
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30. I don't give a fuck daughter, you ain't having a boyfriend til you're ready! *whips*
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thanosibe posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

This.

If I had a daughter (or any child), I would rather them feel comfortable coming to talk to me about it so that I can give her the things she needs to be safe and actually enjoy it.

My 14 year old son asked me what a rimjob is last night while were playing GoW2. I'm glad he feels that open....but damn kid use the internet for some things lol

How much detail did you give in your answer?

Asherlee10 posted...

thanosibe posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

This.

If I had a daughter (or any child), I would rather them feel comfortable coming to talk to me about it so that I can give her the things she needs to be safe and actually enjoy it.

My 14 year old son asked me what a rimjob is last night while were playing GoW2. I'm glad he feels that open....but damn kid use the internet for some things lol

Yeah I would have replied, go google that, but don't click on any weird porn sites.

My best friend's son (also 14) managed to spend $500 in porn last month via their TV. So he sat him down and showed him how to just get on the right website with the ad blocker.

How does that even happen? I would never let my kids have my cards
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Same as my son: 17

Ideally never. What good does her having sexual relations do me?
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legendarylemur posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

thanosibe posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

This.

If I had a daughter (or any child), I would rather them feel comfortable coming to talk to me about it so that I can give her the things she needs to be safe and actually enjoy it.

My 14 year old son asked me what a rimjob is last night while were playing GoW2. I'm glad he feels that open....but damn kid use the internet for some things lol

Yeah I would have replied, go google that, but don't click on any weird porn sites.

My best friend's son (also 14) managed to spend $500 in porn last month via their TV. So he sat him down and showed him how to just get on the right website with the ad blocker.

How does that even happen? I would never let my kids have my cards

Probably had pay-per-view set up so that he could just order things at the press of the button (with maybe a simple passcode protecting it that the kid discovered).
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Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is fucking awesome.
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thanosibe posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

This.

If I had a daughter (or any child), I would rather them feel comfortable coming to talk to me about it so that I can give her the things she needs to be safe and actually enjoy it.

My 14 year old son asked me what a rimjob is last night while were playing GoW2. I'm glad he feels that open....but damn kid use the internet for some things lol

Is he homeschooled? What kind of 14 year old doesn't know what a rimjob is?
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The more you shelter your daughters, the crazier they go when they're out of your clutches.
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Mid-30's.
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Best thing is to drill it into their heads that you don't need to be having kids in your 20s and that's the time to get career focused. After that, after marriage.
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GiftedACIII posted...

thanosibe posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

This.

If I had a daughter (or any child), I would rather them feel comfortable coming to talk to me about it so that I can give her the things she needs to be safe and actually enjoy it.

My 14 year old son asked me what a rimjob is last night while were playing GoW2. I'm glad he feels that open....but damn kid use the internet for some things lol

Is he homeschooled? What kind of 14 year old doesn't know what a rimjob is?

No he goes to public school. That's in fact what where he heard it. But he didn't give me the context around how he heard it.
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When she's ready to, provided her and whoever she's with practices safe sex.

Honestly telling them to not do it is just going to make them more likely to do so behind your back.
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Sabram posted...

When she's ready

People keep saying this but It's a can of worms to me.

What does "When she's ready" actually mean?
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Never. My daughter will live the life as a nun.
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RedWhiteBlue posted...

UnfairRepresent posted...

Sabram posted...

When she's ready

People keep saying this but It's a can of worms to me.

What does "When she's ready" actually mean?

Stop trying to pathetically bump your own topic

Sigless user evasion
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21
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UnfairRepresent posted...

Sabram posted...

When she's ready

People keep saying this but It's a can of worms to me.

What does "When she's ready" actually mean?

It means, if she thinks she is ready for sex I am not going to stop her. If at the time I feel she is too young I'll likely try and convince her to wait but ultimately it's her choice.
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Never. I went to pick up my 3 year old at daycare the other day and this little punk was trying to give her kisses goodbye. I told that little snot nose to back off. It was at that moment I realized I'm going to have to get buff.
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As a Christian raised in a non-hypocritical home: once she's married.
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17 is pretty normal and acceptable.

Paragon21XX posted...

Christian raised in a non-hypocritical

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHVR485txX8
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UnfairRepresent posted...

Sabram posted...

When she's ready

People keep saying this but It's a can of worms to me.

What does "When she's ready" actually mean?

It means exactly what it sounds like.

If we're talking about the timing for when my daughter starts being sexually active, I think it should be her decision and not something dictated by me.

Now, any details therein will be different conversations themselves (such as safe conduct, what she can do if she feels like she's in trouble, any concerns about her judgement regarding sex and partners, etc.); but for the specific issue of when, that's her decision.
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I'd be open it about it from the get go. I'd answer questions she asks, and teach her about safe sex. Preemptive parenting is better than reactionary parenting.
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Approve? As in "good for you!"? After school is done, just in case. Ultimately, as long as there were no babies or diseases, whatever.
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Eighteen, ideally.
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Ruvan22 posted...

thanosibe posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

When she decides she's ready.

This.

If I had a daughter (or any child), I would rather them feel comfortable coming to talk to me about it so that I can give her the things she needs to be safe and actually enjoy it.

My 14 year old son asked me what a rimjob is last night while were playing GoW2. I'm glad he feels that open....but damn kid use the internet for some things lol

How much detail did you give in your answer?

I said (hopefully it's not worthy of moderation) it's when a man or woman inserts their tongue in the anus of another man or woman for their sexual pleasure.

His face was a mix of bewilderment and disgust. Looks like I've at least done one thing right as a parent.
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Dragonblade01 posted...

It means exactly what it sounds like.

It sounds like a vague non-statement.

If we're talking about the timing for when my daughter starts being sexually active, I think it should be her decision and not something dictated by me.

So if she wants to have sex at age 11 you'd support it? As to not dictate.
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UnfairRepresent posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

It means exactly what it sounds like.

It sounds like a vague non-statement.

If we're talking about the timing for when my daughter starts being sexually active, I think it should be her decision and not something dictated by me.

So if she wants to have sex at age 11 you'd support it? As to not dictate.

"When she's ready," is the farthest thing from a vague non-statement.

And no matter how hard you try to push the specific example further and further to the extreme, I still contend that the decision of when to become sexually active should be hers and hers alone. And I think this because every individual should be afforded the same opportunity.

Now, if you want to talk about that 11-year-old example a bit more; I would be far more curious about everything else surrounding my daughter wanting to have sex at that age, not the specific fact that she's only 11 years old in this scenario.

Dragonblade01 posted...

"When she's ready," is the farthest thing from a vague non-statement.

I disagree because everyone's idea of "When she is ready" is going to be a different thing.

The guys says never, the guys saying 21, the guys saying married and the guys saying 12 are all saying "When she is ready"

You need to expand on that.

Dragonblade01 posted...

And no matter how hard you try to push the specific example further and further to the extreme, I still contend that the decision of when to become sexually active should be hers and hers alone

So in other words, you would approve of your daughter having sex at age 11?
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UnfairRepresent posted...

I disagree because everyone's idea of "When she is ready" is going to be a different thing.

The guys says never, the guys saying 21, the guys saying married and the guys saying 12 are all saying "When she is ready"

You need to expand on that.

If you read my original response to this topic, there should be no ambiguity in what I mean, and it should be very clear that it means something different from others who note a specific time. Every time I've used "when she is ready" following my original post, it's in reference to that idea. Not in reference to some concept of "every father dictates the timing differently."

UnfairRepresent posted...

So in other words, you would approve of your daughter having sex at age 11?

All else being okay? Yes, I would.

UnfairRepresent posted...

Dragonblade01 posted...

"When she's ready," is the farthest thing from a vague non-statement.

I disagree because everyone's idea of "When she is ready" is going to be a different thing.

The guys says never, the guys saying 21, the guys saying married and the guys saying 12 are all saying "When she is ready"

You need to expand on that.

Dragonblade01 posted...

And no matter how hard you try to push the specific example further and further to the extreme, I still contend that the decision of when to become sexually active should be hers and hers alone

So in other words, you would approve of your daughter having sex at age 11?

Approving of something and accepting it are not mutually exclusive.
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Dragonblade01 posted...

If you read my original response to this topic, there should be no ambiguity in what I mean, and it should be very clear that it means something different from others who note a specific time. Every time I've used "when she is ready" following my original post, it's in reference to that idea. Not in reference to some concept of "every father dictates the timing differently."

You're not hearing me.

"When she is ready" is a vague idea. Going "No I'm referencing the idea of when she is ready!" doesn't counter-act the vagueness it embraces it like Batman

What does "When she is ready" mean? If you mean "When she tells me she wants to" then say that but you're not willing to actually say it. Because every single post in this topic can be explained as "When she is ready."

Dragonblade01 posted...

All else being okay? Yes, I would.

Then say that.
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UnfairRepresent posted...

You're not hearing me.

"When she is ready" is a vague idea. Going "No I'm referencing the idea of when she is ready!" doesn't counter-act the vagueness it embraces it like Batman

What does "When she is ready" mean? If you mean "When she tells me she wants to" then say that but you're not willing to actually say it. Because every single post in this topic can be explained as "When she is ready."

All this tells me is that you don't understand the difference between my post and what you're talking about here.

"When she tells me she wants to" (though technically also inaccurate, but I'll let it slide to move the discussion along) is what I said from the very beginning.

UnfairRepresent posted...

Then say that.

I did, while simultaneously pointing out that your appeal to a more extreme situation wouldn't make a difference.