Current Events > Gonna break up with the GF today

(+) Yeah! (+)

Great, lots of women out there - ALWAYS look out for #1 first
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MrPeppers posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

LittleRoyal - would you want someone to stay in a relationship with you out of guilt or any other reason than they just want to be with you?

There is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone. TC is doing the right thing and doing it before feelings can get hurt worse.

I’d rather them break up when they lose their feelings, not when they’ve got someone else on their hook.

So I don’t feel discarded and live out a while feeling inadequate, or wondering why he’d have left me for a better girl and what makes her so much better.

I don’t criminalize people for dumping their SO but I do hate when people do it only when they found a better option.

But I’m sure it’ll happen to me because most girls are apparently better options ~

Gaining feelings for someone and losing feelings for the person you are currently with can absolutely happen at the same time. Regardless, you are setting an absurd expectation on being broken up with.

TC is very much in the right to cut off his currently relationship now instead of dragging her along.

Well Yeah, he break up

Problem is how he should have broken up a while ago. If you don’t have feelings break up then, he waited until he had feelings for someone else so he doesn’t have to worry about the sad part of the break up, he gets to move right along. She doesn’t.
Just scummy

That's... not what happened at all. Look, it's not a great situation to be in but it's not like I lost the love and held onto her until someone else who could fill that gap would come along. That is absolutely not what happened.

That’s exactly what happened! You’re thinking of breaking it off tonight yet you already have someone with a planned date with you
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Asherlee10 posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

Nothing

???

I typed up the whole thing and you just said a vague what so whatever it’s fine nevermind anything I said
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LittleRoyal posted...

He went on a vacation and felt no feelings for her there. He knew he was ready to break up.

But he didn’t wait to be sure.

He just waited.

And then suddenly when a cute girl is flirting with him and wants to be his date, now suddenly he found his courage to do the right thing and stop dragging her on.

Yeah I don’t even buy that he is so confident he’s in the right.

In my opinion, it just looks bad. TC is ending the relationship right when another girl comes along. Okay, he knew it was over beforehand. Even if he told his soon to be ex that, why would she believe him if she found out he is already interested in another woman? Now, there will always be that chance where she thinks she's not good enough or he found a better woman. There's nothing he can say to remove that doubt.

It's mostly just poor timing unless she never finds out about the new girl. I'm sure TC isn't a bad guy but he probably should have had a talk with this girl at an earlier point in time. Or hey, maybe she secretly wanted to end the relationship too and the breakup goes smooth. Who knows. All we can do is wish best of luck to the TC and his girlfriend.
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Apocalyptic posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

He went on a vacation and felt no feelings for her there. He knew he was ready to break up.

But he didn’t wait to be sure.

He just waited.

And then suddenly when a cute girl is flirting with him and wants to be his date, now suddenly he found his courage to do the right thing and stop dragging her on.

Yeah I don’t even buy that he is so confident he’s in the right.

In my opinion, it just looks bad. TC is ending the relationship right when another girl comes along. Okay, he knew it was over beforehand. Even if he told his soon to be ex that, why would she believe him if she found out he is already interested in another woman? Now, there will always be that chance where she thinks she's not good enough or he found a better woman. There's nothing he can say to remove that doubt.

It's mostly just poor timing unless she never finds out about the new girl. I'm sure TC isn't a bad guy but he probably should have had a talk with this girl at an earlier point in time. Or hey, maybe she secretly wanted to end the relationship too and the breakup goes smooth. Who knows. All we can do is wish best of luck to the TC and his girlfriend.

Yeah but he wants to be seen as a the hero/good guy in this situation and won’t acknowledge that he messed up, and likely messed her up
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LittleRoyal posted...

Apocalyptic posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

He went on a vacation and felt no feelings for her there. He knew he was ready to break up.

But he didn’t wait to be sure.

He just waited.

And then suddenly when a cute girl is flirting with him and wants to be his date, now suddenly he found his courage to do the right thing and stop dragging her on.

Yeah I don’t even buy that he is so confident he’s in the right.

In my opinion, it just looks bad. TC is ending the relationship right when another girl comes along. Okay, he knew it was over beforehand. Even if he told his soon to be ex that, why would she believe him if she found out he is already interested in another woman? Now, there will always be that chance where she thinks she's not good enough or he found a better woman. There's nothing he can say to remove that doubt.

It's mostly just poor timing unless she never finds out about the new girl. I'm sure TC isn't a bad guy but he probably should have had a talk with this girl at an earlier point in time. Or hey, maybe she secretly wanted to end the relationship too and the breakup goes smooth. Who knows. All we can do is wish best of luck to the TC and his girlfriend.

Yeah but he wants to be seen as a the hero/good guy in this situation and won’t acknowledge that he messed up, and likely messed her up

Again, that's not true at all. Where are you drawing all of these conclusions from? Is everything a simple black and white, hero and villain to you? I'm questioning exactly how old you are or your level of education now, because your reasoning is very elementary. Not once did I say I needed to be looked at with sympathy; I said the exact opposite actually. Jeez, come on...
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I see what Royal is saying. You're breaking up with your girl when you've been flirting with a new girl and plan on being drunk around her at a wedding soon.

It's good you're breaking it off before any physical cheating happens, but it seems sketchy.

But whatever, you realized now is the time to end it, and that's good
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MrPeppers posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

Apocalyptic posted...

LittleRoyal posted...

He went on a vacation and felt no feelings for her there. He knew he was ready to break up.

But he didn’t wait to be sure.

He just waited.

And then suddenly when a cute girl is flirting with him and wants to be his date, now suddenly he found his courage to do the right thing and stop dragging her on.

Yeah I don’t even buy that he is so confident he’s in the right.

In my opinion, it just looks bad. TC is ending the relationship right when another girl comes along. Okay, he knew it was over beforehand. Even if he told his soon to be ex that, why would she believe him if she found out he is already interested in another woman? Now, there will always be that chance where she thinks she's not good enough or he found a better woman. There's nothing he can say to remove that doubt.

It's mostly just poor timing unless she never finds out about the new girl. I'm sure TC isn't a bad guy but he probably should have had a talk with this girl at an earlier point in time. Or hey, maybe she secretly wanted to end the relationship too and the breakup goes smooth. Who knows. All we can do is wish best of luck to the TC and his girlfriend.

Yeah but he wants to be seen as a the hero/good guy in this situation and won’t acknowledge that he messed up, and likely messed her up

Again, that's not true at all. Where are you drawing all of these conclusions from? Is everything a simple black and white, hero and villain to you? I'm questioning exactly how old you are or your level of education now, because your reasoning is very elementary. Not once did I say I needed to be looked at with sympathy; I said the exact opposite actually. Jeez, come on...

And yet you try to defend yourself like crazy and are happy when people agree with you because you need validation
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LittleRoyal sounds so bitter. Women do this shit all the time, too. Would you berate the TC, too, if he were a woman? Or are women immune to such criticisms?
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I agree that long distance relationships are hard but I also agree that TC seems to have poor boundaries if he's flirting with other women while still presumably in a relationship.

If TC was a girl, the responses would be very different.

kinetika_ posted...

LittleRoyal sounds so bitter. Women do this shit all the time, too. Would you berate the TC, too, if he were a woman? Or are women immune to such criticisms?

No I would be saying the same thing. Yes women do it too, that’s doesn’t mean that guys don’t.

However more people would be inclined to agree with me if TC were a woman. Double standards
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I feel like Little has never been in this situation. Falling out of love is horrible, amd sucks for everyone. Me and my ex drug on for quite a while before either of us admitted it was going to end, and it took almost another month after that before we split 100%.

People do things their own way.
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Well, the deed is done. That went about as well as I expected.
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MrPeppers posted...

Well, the deed is done. That went about as well as I expected.

Everything will be fine in the end, sucks for a while though
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Well I'm sure TC feels 100000 pounds lighter now and he gets to drink and shag some new strange this weekend. Good for him.
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This is why I'd never do a long distance. This is coming from someone who craves affection, mind you

Also, lol at those "men are pigs" posts. TC didn't dump her cause he's a dick, he broke up cause it wasn't working
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relationships in general, lol. when will people learn
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TC's situation presents similar to mine - except we're both pharmacists instead of doctors.

My girlfriend and I met in pharmacy school and she was in the class ahead of me. After she graduated, she moved on over to D.C. to take an FDA job while I stayed in the Boston area for about 2 years to complete a pharmacy residency and work a bit (I'm with her now in the Baltimore/DC area). We did see each other every so often in those couple years, but it was tough being apart from her. My residency program had many like-minded individuals akin to myself and with all the conferences and outings we did, there was AMPLE opportunity to cheat.

But I never did. A big part of that is because my girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) and I were in pharm school together and saw each other daily for 3-4 good years before she graduated first. We built enough of a foundation where I didn't want to throw away all the time we spent together over some lousy drunken night in Vegas. And if I may add, it was quite easy for me to NOT cheat. I would always tell these women (some of them my co-residents) that I was seeing someone.

And I never ever regretted it.
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long distance relationships are a tremendous waste of time
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REMercsChamp posted...

Great, lots of women out there - ALWAYS look out for #1 first

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It's hard enough to maintain a relationship with someone you live with when you work 90 hour weeks let alone long distance, can't blame ya. How's the intern life peppers
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Super Saiyan 3 Goku posted...

TC's situation presents similar to mine - except we're both pharmacists instead of doctors.

My girlfriend and I met in pharmacy school and she was in the class ahead of me. After she graduated, she moved on over to D.C. to take an FDA job while I stayed in the Boston area for about 2 years to complete a pharmacy residency and work a bit (I'm with her now in the Baltimore/DC area). We did see each other every so often in those couple years, but it was tough being apart from her. My residency program had many like-minded individuals akin to myself and with all the conferences and outings we did, there was AMPLE opportunity to cheat.

But I never did. A big part of that is because my girlfriend (soon to be fiancé) and I were in pharm school together and saw each other daily for 3-4 good years before she graduated first. We built enough of a foundation where I didn't want to throw away all the time we spent together over some lousy drunken night in Vegas. And if I may add, it was quite easy for me to NOT cheat. I would always tell these women (some of them my co-residents) that I was seeing someone.

And I never ever regretted it.

That's awesome man. We were 5 months in and I knew she was a catch, but my previous 6 year long-distance almost marriage has made me realize that I don't want the distance anymore. I think if we were to have dated throughout med school things would be different, but I admire your dedication and that is an amazing and special thing to have. NeuralLaxative posted...

It's hard enough to maintain a relationship with someone you live with when you work 90 hour weeks let alone long distance, can't blame ya. How's the intern life peppers

Yeah. It is what it is, lol. I'm on my ultrasound month so it's nice with great hours, but I'm spending most of my fee time studying for step 3 and my in service exams. Trying to shoot for a uro/gyn fellowship so I'm putting in as much work as I can and trying to stay at that speed. It sucks not being able to go home and call her up s we can bitch about attendings and upper levels.
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That's awesome man. We were 5 months in and I knew she was a catch, but my previous 6 year long-distance almost marriage has made me realize that I don't want the distance anymore. I think if we were to have dated throughout med school things would be different, but I admire your dedication and that is an amazing and special thing to have

Thanks for the words and good luck to you too - I see that you've made your decision about what to do about your (now ex) girlfriend.

And honestly, if I had known my girlfriend only for 5 months before we became long distance, it would've been much tougher to keep that relationship going. 5 months isn't very much time to build something lasting, so the temptation would be that much stronger.

Would I have called it quits? Not sure - even though the temptation would've been greater, none of the women I had met held a candle to my girlfriend in presentation, professionalism and, frankly, style.

I'm also 6'4" and my girlfriend is 5'10", so I wasn't about to downgrade >_>
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