Current Events > Cousin is an alcoholic. Trying to quit. Yet everyone is trying to talk him out

(+) Yeah! (+)

Of quitting.

It's so damn frustrating.

I watched his alcoholic grandfather beat his grandmother. I was at his deathbed when he died of liver cirrhosis.

His father was an alcoholic who also used to beat me. He had a giant million dollar machine shop. Alcohol left him on the street.

My cousin, who I'm very close with, has a problem drinking. He drinks every night. He also got into cocaine, which helps him drink more. He was a skinny, gross wreck for a while. He was extremely annoying to deal with.

On top of it, we both work in a bar. So everyone he associates with drinks (except me 7 years clean). People constantly laughing at him for quitting. Our boss is always trying to break his sobriety.

He has been sober for two months. He hit the gym hard, gain 10 pounds if muscle , and looks and acts healthy. I've been proud.

Then ten minutes ago I text him to go to our gym. He tells me he's been drinking. Fuck. He will also most likely get cocaine too.

I'm so frustrated but I don't know what to do. I'm working against many people here. Who either don't know his history or simply don't care. Alcohol is fun! We are bartenders! Ugh.

Side note, my bosses sister is a heroin addict. I wonder how'd she feel if I pressed her recovering sister to freebase.

Anyways, do I give up? He's one of the closest people to me and I love him. But I don't have the energy to fight this anymore. Am I being selfish that I want him sober? Should the man just dictate his own future?

Thanks guys. I really don't know how to handle this anymore.
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yeah he needs to get out of that environment at work.

does he drink a lot or keep it to a moderate amount?
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I'm pretty sure a bar is the last place an alcoholic should work
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YourDrunkFather posted...

I'm pretty sure a bar is the last place a recovering alcoholic should work

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thronedfire2 posted...

yeah he needs to get out of that environment at work.

does he drink a lot or keep it to a moderate amount?

I want to say he drinks very heavily on his days off.

Moderate on his days off (moderate being 4-5 drinks).

He loves bartending. He will never get out of that line of work. Which I'm guessing for a blossoming alcoholic is not the smartest.

That's why I made the legit decision to never drink once I started working at a bar. October 31, 2011 was my last drink(s). And I've been through what he's been through. I faced tons of ridicule by most people in the industry. Reason is, many get offended when you bring up booze can be potentially bad. Bartenders turn a blind eye to the dark side of it. It's all fun and games when they see people falling over (at least friends, customers are taken care of it legal reasons).

I was never an alcoholic. Kratom is my drug of choice. So I can only imagine how tough it is for him.
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You're not selfish at all. That sucks dude, that history is rough.

First things first, I know you're joking but please don't do anything remotely to press her into relapsing to H. lol I know you weren't being serious but just had to be said.

There's a good chance he's probably never gonna get off without changing up his group of friends. The chances are slim at best.

I don't want you to give up but I wouldn't blame you one bit if you did. It's just a shitty situation but the important thing is you shouldn't feel bad about feeling how you do, nor for any course of action you take.

Addiction is a hell of a thing. Getting out the bottle is an internal struggle.
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Don't give up on your friend
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YourDrunkFather posted...

I'm pretty sure a bar is the last place an alcoholic should work

Yeah. But when he got into the industry, he wasn't in that bad of shape. The history was there but he drank only recreationally. Now that he paved his future, it's clear it wasn't a smart move.

Zurkon posted...

If he needs it, AA meetings can surround him with supportive people, especially if you feel worn out helping him. If he went two months without drinking then he must have some drive to not want to do it. A lot of alcoholics relapse a few times before finally quitting. Ultimately it's up to him though.

This is actually really smart.

I've been wanting to check out support groups for my kratom addiction (not too many downsides but addiction inherently sucks and I don't eat as much). We can both go and keep each other company.
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Wow, talk about alcohol culture. But at the end of the day, it's only your cousin who can make the choice to quit. It sounds like he knows how you feel about it. I guess all you can do now is just be there for him and hope he gets better.
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Solar_Crimson posted...

YourDrunkFather posted...

I'm pretty sure a bar is the last place a recovering alcoholic should work

Quoted for fucking truth
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YourDrunkFather posted...

I'm pretty sure a bar is the last place an alcoholic should work

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