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USANumber1 09/03/17 12:22:53 PM #1: |
So I'm cruising down the 409 and this pig starts following me in the right lane. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm going the speed limit and I haven't been drinking anything. Well, at least nothing alcoholic. I've been sippin on warm a bottle of peanut oil but last I checked this is America and that's not a crime.
So this ball bag pulls me over and asks for my license and registration and I'm like I'm an article 4 free inhabitant so I don't have to have a license. I was like look it up shit bird, it's persuant to the articles of confederation and it's a part of the book of codes. Article 4 free inhabitant bitch. I was recording him the whole time. This bozo asks me if I've been drinking which I HAVE NOT been except he had no authority to even ask that question as he is an officer of an unratified state. I show him my jug of Lou Anna peanut oil and this blind fuck is like is that peanut oil? And I'm like, nut flicker, yeah can't you fucking READ? AND HE GOES TO REACH FOR ME IN MY OWN FUCKING CAR. And I'm like hell no you fucking donut puncher so I pour out all the peanut oil on myself and get out of the car where he starts to try and grab and chase me except he can't get a good grip because I'm all slippy like a frog from the peanut oil. This glob of whale spunk tries to wrassle me to the ground but I wriggle out of my clothes and out from under him. I opened my trunk and this fucking guy pulls out his gun and points it at me! I keep going for my trunk though because I have more peanut oil in there and he tries to pull the trigger but his fingers keep slipping when he tries to pull back the slide. I open the second bottle or oil and splash it into his eyes and go for his keys. He tries to fight me but he's partially blinded from the oil and I manage to get take them while he's left by the side of the road all covered in oil and grass clippings like a fucking jerk. I get in his car and I'm posting this from his laptop there's a guy in the back seat but I didn't catch his name. Anyway what are you guys up to? ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Virus731 09/03/17 12:23:35 PM #2: |
remaking a topic like this is literally the lowest form of humor
you should have mimed it --- I hope this ****in' world ****in' burns away And I'd kill you all if I had my way ... Copied to Clipboard!
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WilliamPorygon 09/03/17 12:24:56 PM #3: |
Nice story, could've used a T-Rex though.
--- Love dolphins and whales? Come hang out at Cetacea Cove! https://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/1404-cetacea-cove ... Copied to Clipboard!
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USANumber1 09/03/17 12:38:10 PM #4: |
The TRex was there the whole time.
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USANumber1 09/03/17 12:52:30 PM #5: |
I was trex
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glitteringfairy 09/03/17 12:54:12 PM #6: |
Lol wtf did I just read
--- "How come you can believe in God but not Bigfoot?" V-E-G-Y http://i.imgur.com/AqR3aeX.jpg http://i.imgur.com/vvuUXpp.jpg ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Dustin1280 09/03/17 12:56:22 PM #7: |
more believable than you @AverageDude9
--- Smash DS Code: 4554-0120-5368 SB4 Name: Roz RIP: Orlando of the Axe Karma: 1642 --he delivered! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Smashingpmkns 09/03/17 12:57:41 PM #8: |
Fucking lol
--- Posted with GameRaven 3.2.2 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Coffeebeanz 09/03/17 1:05:04 PM #9: |
Slick, man. (Literally)
--- Physician [Internal Medicine] ... Copied to Clipboard!
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USANumber1 09/03/17 1:21:49 PM #10: |
I'm no man
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Roxborough4Ever 09/03/17 1:29:40 PM #11: |
WilliamPorygon posted...
Nice story, could've used a T-Rex though. or some pokemon --- You feast on red herring because it is your birthright. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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USANumber1 09/03/17 1:47:19 PM #12: |
Geodude was masturbating in the bushes the whole time.
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USANumber1 09/03/17 2:20:53 PM #13: |
Geodude is my nickname for my dad
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USANumber1 09/03/17 3:03:46 PM #14: |
Geodude is my nickname for myself
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USANumber1 09/04/17 4:17:48 AM #15: |
Myself is a nickname for my dog.
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ave1 09/04/17 6:05:52 AM #16: |
This was truly a rivetting story... one that will become a legend someday. Till then, I'm off to try some peanut oil.
--- I have a new sig and this is it. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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USANumber1 09/04/17 8:04:32 AM #17: |
It feels good on your bum.
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ssj3vegeta 09/04/17 8:05:33 AM #18: |
So randum
--- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Kineth 09/04/17 8:10:08 AM #19: |
Dustin1280 posted...
more believable than you AverageDude9 I still don't see what was so unbelievable about his story. --- If you're not looking for any honest discussion, agreement, meeting halfway or middle ground, don't bother arguing with me. Selfish narcissists need not apply. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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USANumber1 09/04/17 12:33:04 PM #20: |
No u
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USANumber1 09/04/17 5:21:28 PM #21: |
his didnt involve rasslin'
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USANumber1 09/05/17 5:28:29 PM #22: |
I need more peanut oil
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USANumber1 09/06/17 5:32:19 PM #23: |
ACCORDING TO THE CORPUS HABILIS SUPREME COURT DECISION OF KRAMER VS JERRY I DO NOT HAVE TO COMPLY OFFICER TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS ARE NOT A CRIME UNDER THE STATUTES MANDITUDED BY THE CONFEDERATION OF MUNICIPALITIES now give me my fucking enchiladas
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