Current Events > I remember the first time I got stopped by the police

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cAPITALISATION
06/29/17 4:32:24 PM
#1:


This was back more than a few years ago, maybe 20-25? I'd recently bought a car, and to earn some money I'd taken to transporting substances across the city.

Anyway, so there I was crusing in my car and shit, when all of a sudden I see a police car signalling me to pull over. I considered just putting my foot down and making off, but thought 'fuck it; worst case scenario I'll contest whatever shit he comes up with'. So I stopped.

"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Let's see: I'm young, I'm brown, my hat's low...stop me when you hear one you like!"
You were speeding. Turn on your interior lights, give me your papers and get out of the vehicle."
"...dude. You can look at my license and shit, but I ain't getting out of my car."
In that case, I'll just have to poke around in your car myself. I trust that won't be a problem."
"Hmm...thing is, my glove box: locked. Trunk: locked. So where's your warrant, bitch?"
You're a smart guy. Are you a lawyer by any chance?"
"Nah, just a layman. But I do know you have no right to legally touch any of my stuff."
"Guess I'll have to call the K9 unit in, then. Who's the bitch now, bitch?"

I genuinely found it laughable that he thought a K9 would intimidate me.

tl;dr: I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
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tHE RULES OF CAPITALIZATION ARE SO UNFAIR TO WORDS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE - jOHN gREEN
... Copied to Clipboard!
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