Current Events > On a scale of 1-10 how bad should i feel for going through my gfs phone...

(+) Yeah! (+)

LookANinja posted...

She's always been very blunt with me about how much she hates cheating ever since the beginning. Some might see that as a red flag, but as someone who heard the way she said it I believe that she wouldn't cheat. She was just saying the other day that she would feel awful if she cheated. I agree that this is just talk.
I didn't think this would blow up, but some other things in the text say "he's Mexican with reddish hair had a cute smile."
"My sexual attraction towards him gets worse every week." "he keeps smiling at me aghhhh"
The guy also has a girlfriend, according to my girlfriend she hates him personality wise saying he's cocky, condescending and entitled. He got the job he's currently in (salesman) because of his father and she has had to reprimand on a few things like having his girlfriend with him at the office and being on the phone with his girlfriend tying up the lines.


Sorry this is all messy. Just trying to get all the facts out there.

Don't put anything past anyone. People will surprise you my man.
---

We've been together almost 4 years. Not gonna confront her about it, but will bring up the the sex improvement thing.
---

You only got two options.

1. Bounce.

2. Take some preformance enhancers if you have to, but pipe her down like she's never been before, or introduce something new into the bedroom like a Hitachi or glass dildos.
---

Get rid of her ASAP.

It's different when a woman is doing these things compared to guys. OP makes it sound like she could be using you. Sex rut but still dating you? Idk...

Guys seldom text or call their guy friends to tell them how attracted they are to some random. It would only make sense in the man's position if he and the guy he's talking to are longtime friends with this woman.

Guys do talk in similar fashion about woman they see on the street or at the work place. But I've never seen or had one friend that's meditated on it while in a relationship.

Looking through the phone may have been shady, but what you found cancelled it out.

I'm trying to assess how best to approach the situation. I have an idea that is somewhat morally questionable.
I'm thinking of telling her that i feel like she still gets very sexually charged when watching movies with attractive actors (which is kinda true), yet it never gets redirected towards me. As though she feels more sexual attraction towards others rather than me (which we know to be true, but she doesn't know that we know). Then follow up with asking her if this is the case to tell me how i can remedy the situation.

I feel like she either lies and says "no, i'm only attracted to you!" or she will be honest and say tell me what i can do to improve.

Though she's not exactly the greatest in the sack either.
---

_Krave_ posted...

Dump her ass. Don't be a cuckboy.

---

She can sit on my face any time
---

LookANinja posted...

I'm trying to assess how best to approach the situation. I have an idea that is somewhat morally questionable.
I'm thinking of telling her that i feel like she still gets very sexually charged when watching movies with attractive actors (which is kinda true), yet it never gets redirected towards me. As though she feels more sexual attraction towards others rather than me (which we know to be true, but she doesn't know that we know). Then follow up with asking her if this is the case to tell me how i can remedy the situation.

I feel like she either lies and says "no, i'm only attracted to you!" or she will be honest and say tell me what i can do to improve.

Though she's not exactly the greatest in the sack either.

Sounds like you're just unhappy and are looking for an excuse to break up...

Either deal with not being the hottest guy your girl will ever see, or dump her and keep going through this shit for the rest of your life.
---

The Deadpool posted...

LookANinja posted...

I'm trying to assess how best to approach the situation. I have an idea that is somewhat morally questionable.
I'm thinking of telling her that i feel like she still gets very sexually charged when watching movies with attractive actors (which is kinda true), yet it never gets redirected towards me. As though she feels more sexual attraction towards others rather than me (which we know to be true, but she doesn't know that we know). Then follow up with asking her if this is the case to tell me how i can remedy the situation.

I feel like she either lies and says "no, i'm only attracted to you!" or she will be honest and say tell me what i can do to improve.

Though she's not exactly the greatest in the sack either.

Sounds like you're just unhappy and are looking for an excuse to break up...

Either deal with not being the hottest guy your girl will ever see, or dump her and keep going through this shit for the rest of your life.

I mean I definitely see your point. And I've been doing a lot of introspection lately to try to be open. I just feel like it's weird if we're watching wonder woman and she sees Chris pine and is like "Omg he's so hot, he gets me so turned on and I just want to sit on his face." then we get back from the movies and she's not feeling anything at all anymore.

Tell me if I'm honestly just being crazy.
---

LookANinja posted...

The Deadpool posted...

LookANinja posted...

I'm trying to assess how best to approach the situation. I have an idea that is somewhat morally questionable.
I'm thinking of telling her that i feel like she still gets very sexually charged when watching movies with attractive actors (which is kinda true), yet it never gets redirected towards me. As though she feels more sexual attraction towards others rather than me (which we know to be true, but she doesn't know that we know). Then follow up with asking her if this is the case to tell me how i can remedy the situation.

I feel like she either lies and says "no, i'm only attracted to you!" or she will be honest and say tell me what i can do to improve.

Though she's not exactly the greatest in the sack either.

Sounds like you're just unhappy and are looking for an excuse to break up...

Either deal with not being the hottest guy your girl will ever see, or dump her and keep going through this shit for the rest of your life.

I mean I definitely see your point. And I've been doing a lot of introspection lately to try to be open. I just feel like it's weird if we're watching wonder woman and she sees Chris pine and is like "Omg he's so hot, he gets me so turned on and I just want to sit on his face." then we get back from the movies and she's not feeling anything at all anymore.

Tell me if I'm honestly just being crazy.

That's two different things altogether:

Don't bring up the fact she's attracted to other guys and that it bothers you. That's pointless. The problem there is on your end: she's going to be attracted to other guys. As long as doesn't act on it, any problems you have are on your own. Any solutions will have to come from you. You can't even ask her not to flaunt it in your face since you will just break into her phone and read it anyways...

The other problem is a stagnant or boring sex life and that's something that you both need to work on. You can try changing the routine to spice things up, but you can also just sit down and talk to her about it. Don't bring up the other shit at all.

If you're going to have that talk, a few common pitfalls to avoid a bigger argument:

This isn't a you or her problem. It's both of you. Your probably bother causing it and you're probably bothe suffering from it. Remember that with how you word your sentences.

Try to avoid making accusations, even accidentally. "It's like you don't even want me anymore" is far more likely to start argument, or merely be taken the wrong way, then "I'm not exactly feeling wanted sometimes" is, despite meaning functionally the same thing.

The last thing you want is for her to go on the defensive. You don't want her to fix this problem, you want her to help you fix it. Present your grievances, sure, but ask her about hers too.

Sexual compatibility is a serious thing. Sometimes two people get along great and the sex just doesn't work out. Sometimes the sex is great but people don't get along. I don't know you two, but understand that while this may just be a hurdle, it can also be a wall. It's not a pretty thought, but reality rarely is.

Not saying you shouldn't try and fix shit, but be realistic about it. No harm, no foul.
---

It seems like you've put yourself in a shitty situation. She hasn't done anything, but I know I'd have trouble forgetting the sexy Mexican guy at work that she wants to get pounded by. Good luck.


Also, am I the only one who finds these "she should be talking to you about it" comments odd? I'm just imagining my fiancee sitting me down to tell me about this guy at work that she really wants to fuck, and how the desire grows stronger every day, blah blah. There's plenty of girls I'd love to fuck, but I'm not going to sit her down and tell her about them. It's made worse by the fact that she apparently doesn't even like him as a person. At least you've got that going.
---

8.8
---

Man, when I was in a long relationship and didn't have much experience under my belt, this stereotypically hot girl in my class came onto me pretty hard. It was really disappointing that I couldn't take advantage of it, and I definitely vented about it to friends. But I loved my ex, and I wouldn't have jeopardized that.

It doesn't sound like she's done anything wrong, though it sounds like you guys are in quite a rut and have trouble communicating. She definitely sounds tempted to leave because she's bored, but that's pretty normal.

Looking through her phone was wrong, plain and simple. I've definitely felt desire for other people, even when I've been with girls I could see myself with for the rest of my life. And it's doubly hard when they come onto you.

Relationships are built on trust and honesty. Insecurity is going to build up these walls unless you actively communicate to tear them down. So you talk to her. You don't tell her that you went through her phone, but you definitely address the shit that prompted you to do that.

And don't go through her phone anymore. If all she was talking about was feeling desire, it's not the end of the world. If she isn't talking with this guy on there, that's also a good sign. If her friends are helping her stay on the straight and narrow, it means she has a healthy support system.

You gotta remember that you don't own this girl ir her affections. You have to work to earn them and keep earning them. Good luck.
---

I'm thinking to just let this relationship die. Not just for the stuff above but for other reasons too. Idk.
---

If you're not happy with her then what's even the point in trying? Just be sure of your decision before you go through with it so you won't yo-yo back and forth with her after the fact.
---

0/10
---

Work crushes are gonna happen. It's a fact of life-- a simple matter of biology. And jealousy is a normal reaction to that. Just don't let it fester, and don't try to be the Thought Police.

That said, it's kind of not cool that she's disrespecting you behind your back, in front of her friends. That's not the way you treat a serious, long-term partner. If you truly love someone, you should protect them from gossip, not make them the subject of it. I don't think that she's broken the implicit bf/gf contract but I would be kind of annoyed with her. That shit certainly doesn't fly once you marry someone, imo.

I would continue to trust but verify. Her texts demonstrate that she's exercising some degree of self-control in the face of temptation. But it's also possible that she's fishing for encouragement from her friends.
---