LogFAQs > #979918089

My own transformation at the age of 25. I pissed the years of my wasted youth down the drain as a neo-Nazi activist. (That wasn't what we in the "political soldier" faction of the National Front liked to call ourselves; we preferred the label "Third Positionists". But we all knew what we really meant.) I also rubbed shoulders with loyalist paramilitaries in Northern Ireland and shook hands with "former" (wink) UFF and UVF men who I knew were killers.

And yet I went from that to being a campaigner in the Anti-Apartheid Movement.

So, what happened? Did I find Jesus, or something? No, fuck that. Instead, the unthinkable happened: I fell in love with a black girl at work. (Yes, even neo-Nazis have day jobs.) It was a shock like having a glass smashed in my face.

Falling in love with her wrenched my life around 180 degrees. I got educated. I dumped my shitty beliefs in the trash can where they belonged, renounced the movement, and cut off former friends and "comrades" like gangrenous limbs. I pulled up my roots and moved to a different city, because living a real-life Romeo and Juliet story in which you're a "race traitor" isn't likely to end happily. (My parents had my "old friends" knocking on their front door and asking if I'd left a forwarding address.)

The only relic I have left now from that earlier, shameful part of my life is a couple of tattoos (odalrune and wolf's hook, if you're interested). Plus the shaven head.