LogFAQs > #979464490

I've posted about this at more length before, and I think we spoke lightly a couple times about the stress of course work over the last few years at around 3am.

The alcohol is a serious trap, especially straight vodka in those amounts as a daily/near occurrence.

I started drinking like that for the exact same reasons my first go around at college, and over about half a decade it got out of control hard. It's especially bad if you have a decent in built physical tolerance, five shots is a lot for most people, and the symptoms of physical addiction can sneak up on you when it takes so much to even feel an effect.

I went through the same thing with THC recently as well, down to the disposables (delta here), and I have gone back to using them now.

They are a far, far better option than the alternative.

...and sure as hell beats sitting around sober all the time.

As far as dealing with that sensation goes, I always conceptualized it as needing input to stay sane, even if it was self-generated. I carried around a paperback novel for most of my life, and that always greatly helped. Even something as silly as a game world circulating in my head could help relieve some of that feeling. Nowadays I have an Adderall prescription that I find helps to get through the day while staying focused and productive... and that feeling of all that time isn't there. Your feelings on uppers might be a bit different.

I would say your levels of drinking are a problem, especially in your situation... for reference I ended up getting both my hips and one shoulder replaced due to complications from the drinking, my ex who was about ~130 lbs ended up with pancreatitis and other complications as well (she needed about six shots when we started drinking together), it can go bad quick.

AA or NA (I would say NA is typically more open and welcoming, though people I have talked to said a lot of people in the OR/WA rooms smoke weed still, so your cross-addiction feelings might matter there if you want to stop everything completely) are good community options and can really help connect with more people who can give you some lived experiences.

Same as a couple others said, if you want to ask more just do it or send a PM if you don't want to publicly for some reason. I generally don't get into serious matters on here, but this one hits, close to home.