LogFAQs > #979461859

I genuinely cant tell

My mom died of an overdose and my dad died from liver complications due to his excessive drinking so I could just be paranoid for no reason.. but I need an outside opinion

When I smoke weed, I do it everyday. It eventually became a problem because I started getting high in the mornings too and I wasnt able to focus on my college work. I really struggled with self control to do it only on weekends, or even only at nighttime at least.
I tried to quit cold turkey, but Id end up buying disposable vape pens, smoking it constantly and then eventually throwing it in the dumpster to try and stop myself. Then a few days later Id pay another $40 for a vape and do it all again. Rinse and repeat I did this for a year

Its been about 2 months now since I picked it up, which is a long stint for me, but I really crave the head buzz. So I tried a vodka seltzer type drink for the first time 3 weeks ago (Ive abstained from alcohol because of family abuse history) and I really liked it. A lot. I finished a small Titos bottle in two nights, and Im about to finish the standard size one in two nights too.

I really crave the head buzz, and I like the feeling it gives me. I think about it a lot, and it takes a concerning level of self control to wait til nighttime. Today I started drinking at 6pm ish and Im 5 shots in.. which Im not sure if its a lot?

Anyways if anyone else has the same type of thoughts Id like some advice and opinions. I dont really have anyone else to go to