LogFAQs > #979395122

-They send me down to the police chief and this dude is lounging back with his feet up on the desk. -Hey man youre TOO casual. We have aliens straight up snatching up people 30 at a time. I need you hunched over your desk looking stressed out as hell, not like youre the cool kid in detention.
-They called me down here because they think I might be able to help on all the recent disappearances on account of me previously being kidnapped.
-Police Chief: Frankly, I dont believe in aliens. Then why do you think I can help? Hey this guy is probably crazy and made up the whole getting kidnapped by aliens thing. Maybe he can crack this 30 missing person case for us!
-Police Chief: There were seventeen other disappearances in 1972. Ohhhh. Very interesting. First time Im hearing about this. Wonder what happened to the other 16.
-Kornfield is caught offguard about this too. And those 16 people never came back, unlike Kornfield. -Very interesting indeed.
-Chief actually doesnt want me talking to the media because it would make things a lot more complicated if they run with this whole alien abduction thing he doesnt believe in. Fair.
-Oooh he wants to know if theres anything he can do to help make it worth it to keep quiet. Goodbye 27 unpaid parking tickets heh heh heh.
-You can ask the chief about the missing people, but it doesnt sound like they figured much out. It happened over a short period, stopped, and then eventually John came back. Thats about it.
-Not great police work, guys. Pretty bad when your answer like 15 years later is I dunno it was weird man.
-Cough cough so about those parking tickets
-Police Chief: Parking violations? Some of these are almost nine years old. Hey some of those missing people cases are over nine years old and you never took care of them either. Really want to compare notes, chief?
-The chief was already aware of the parking tickets and was going to use it as leverage I think if I didnt bring it up. Cool. So uh we good then?
-Hes like oh yeah some people in the department believe in the abduction theory but I dont think you were abducted in 1972 but we can have disagreements do you understand John. Um. No? Are you hinting at something or just rambling because youre over the age of 60?
-He reminds me the media arent my friends, and to stay quiet if I want them to forget about those parking tickets. Dammit John were getting blackmailed because you couldnt stop parking your car on top of fire hydrants, you lunatic.
-One final interesting tidbit is every single one of the missing peoples cars are also missing, so its like they all drove somewhere.
-The day isnt over yet, so I got back to talk to Ty. Hes usually got something to say on all the items I pick up.
-I show him Margarets card and hes unimpressed. Ty doesnt understand rocks and minerals. Wow what a SCATHING indictment. Poor Ty.
-I bring up 1972 but doesnt really get any good info. Ty says they almost went out of business and John apologizes, but says he doesnt regret going to Vanien. It was irresponsible for me to leave. I ran away. But I dont regret it. Uh how did you run away to an alien planet?
-I go to leave and see another ticket on my windshield. DAMMIT KORNFIELD STOP PARKING SO BADLY.
-Kornfield stops to think about how nice Margaret is to talk to. Yeah you sure wooed her with all that food court talk, my guy.
-And now its Wednesday! Ive got a strange feeling this game is going to end when I get to Saturday.
-TWO messages on my answering machine. Well well well look whos Mr. Popular now that we have 30 unexplained disappearances that may be connected to 17 unexplained disappearances that involve me.
-Lame its just two reporters. Sorry guys I have unpaid parking tickets to think of.
-Hm. Ty isnt at the office today. BUT hes left the transmitter on his desk. John says itll need to be put somewhere high and yes, yes, I get that it goes on the roof already.
-John picks up the newspaper at the mall today because it talks about the missing vehicles. Pockets starting to get full here
-Margaret knows who I am now! She read it in the paper. I swear Im not a crazy person.
-John once again slow playing things, I cant say for sure where I was Margaret. But, it sures hell wasnt here. It was AKRON OHIO OH GOD THE HUMANITY.
-Margaret: I dont think its so unusual. Things in this world arent always what they seem. What about things off of this world? Because thats specifically what I was talking about.
-Margaret: Are you aware of the astral plane? I feel like thats the question you get from a cute girl at a party in college that immediately ends your plans for the night.
-Margaret: Well our experience is comprised of seven planes. OH NO WHAT HAVE I STARTED.
-Margaret seems to believe that people can travel between planes and spirit travel and jump between existences and I saw Principal Skinner and Ms. Krabbaple kissing in the closet and they made a baby and the baby waved at me.
-Are all these people astral projecting or something weird? Was John Kornfield astral projecting? -Hey, crazy lady at the mall, please help me solve this very difficult police case.
-Margaret: It is all very well documented. That is another thing said exclusively by crazy people to validate the dumb thing they read on the internet.
-Margaret is convinced that John astral traveled and John asks if she has any crystal that could help him do it again. Oh man, the things youll believe if a cute girl says it to you. John youre about to be out $500 for a lump of zirconium.
-Yeah I buy the pretty crystal at the end of the table for a cool $50 to help with astral traveling. -Margaret takes 25% off so it is definitely NOT a scam.
-Lees is still closed, and its been closed long enough now that it gets added to my evidence. Lee have you been kidnapped or astral traveling or going to Akron for the worlds saddest vacation?
-Back to the beach! Anna is here again and I got stuff to show her. Like a glass shard?
-Oh, even better! Anna got excited and made me a tape for the transmitter. I hadnt returned to the roof yet so I didnt even know I needed one! Puzzle accidentally solved aw yeah.
-John asks how long it is and Anna says it is only thirty seconds, but it should be enough. Im going to imagine it is just Anna yelling STOP. STEALING. ADULTS. over and over until proved otherwise.