Akagami_Shanks posted... well this is slightly similar
so i guess wall of text nobody asked for, but I'm friends with this group of secretaries, i'm like one of the girls to them and probably refreshing because i don't hit on them all the time unlike the sheriffs officers, so during the judicial recess I'm covering emergent duty with one of their judges and we're working together, it goes well naturally but the person i'm dating(N for short, who is her assigned staff member on the team of my secretary friend) messed something up and the judge was upset so they asked me to show her how to do it. I show her, pay 0 attention to her, but a week later message her because I didn't know if she was in my union(i'm also a union rep) and we just ended up talkin, days go by and talking turns into slight flirting, then more flirting.. then she mentions a "husband" and i basically immediately pump my brakes. She clarifies later that they're actually divorced but that he's been in and out of the hospital but I guess she's been taking care of him/his family or something while he's hospitalized out of some feeling of obligation that is clearly taking a large mental toll on her.
I kinda kept it a secret also partly because ik she's told people at work she has a "husband" and it would probably be very...confusing to explain that she's dating someone. She says she refers to him as her husband because it's easier than explaining the situation, but this arrangement is supposed to come to a complete end in May and she said she'll get serious with me then because she'll be able to devote her full energy to me. And yes I do know for a fact they aren't still boning >_> she told me, unprompted, that she hasn't had sex in a long time lol
also slightly awkward because initially my secretary friend was talking trash about N saying how frustrated she was with her, so I feel like it'd slightly damage our friendship if i'm just like "Oh hey i'm actually seeing her now"
Yeah, she was planning to leave her husband and it was a long process but she said their relationship had been over for awhile and they weren't doing anything anymore. Sadly we broke up before she divorced him because she was overbearing and jealous.
We argued a lot because she had a tendency to misunderstand things and even after I talk them out with her, it felt like she waited until late at night to bring it up again and the argument would continue and I have anxiety so I couldn't sleep at night. When I broke up with her, I told her all we did was argue and she said we didn't and that we didn't argue at all which made me realize she saw our relationship in a whole different way.
I'm glad I got out because I saw later that she is now dating this biker and tattooed his name on herself even though it seems to have been about a year since they've been dating.