LogFAQs > #978767386

TheGuiltySpark posted...

Based on your criteria for 'potency' and the fact that you specifically used the word "craving" in your post, it seems initially like you may be headed to/in the early stages of alcoholism.

This isn't the response you were looking for, but it may be the one you need: The easiest time to slow down and quit, is now. It only gets more difficult from here on out.

I'm not telling you what to do, only what I know and what I've seen. Good luck, friend.

OP, I have been a very heavy drinker since I turned 21. I was exactly like you, buying the most "cost efficient" drinks. At first I deluded myself because I was buying craft beer like Dogfish 90 Minute IPA. Every thing was totally fine and functional until I hit my 30s.

I'm going to tell you, OP, what I went through during my recent relapse. It was about a 9 day bender where I essentially did nothing but sleep, wake up, drive to the store to buy enough alcohol that I would not have to drive later (the last day of drinking during this relapse was six cans of Four Loko nursed over a day). I had zero appetite after day two and barely consumed ANY food. I had to call my parents to tell them that I messed up again and that I was going to spend the day getting myself together and asked if it was okay to come over.

When I got to my parents with some Thiamine, high quality multivitamins, and a shit load of pedialyte, I was shaking uncontrollably, I was unable to sit still, I was having hot and cold flashes. On day two, I started seeing things out of the corners of my eyes, like little wisps in the air. I kept compulsively either looking around or my eyes would dart around. That night, I had managed to sleep, but I had such an INTENSE vivid nightmare that I started screaming in my sleep and whenever I woke up, I saw a shadow figure of a man wearing a top hat. I have not stepped foot in that room since that incident.

Day three I started hearing things. I kept hearing the song "The Dripping Tap" by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard coming through the air purifier. I kept hearing my parents say my name, even though they didn't say anything. I started realizing these weren't real. At night when I was trying to sleep, I kept hearing a voice mocking me that I couldn't sleep, and it kept telling me things like "you think you're going to fall asleep in that position?" and it would just say things that there is no possible way anybody could see that I was doing. It was absolute terror and I don't think I have ever been as scared as I have in my life.

Day four started to get better. I was able to get up and exercise and I went back home. I didn't have any hallucinations during the day or at night.

aaaaand here I am on Day five.

Wish me luck this time guys :( Maybe giving rehab another shot will get this through my head. What I've been doing lately is just watching HORROR videos regarding alcohol. There are two that I'm going to watch every morning that hit me HARD. The one is a british guy PLEADING his seizing friend to wake up as he holds his chin down, which just reminds me of the time my parents found me unconscious, and the other is a HORRIFYING story of Delirium Tremens.