LogFAQs > #975026674

30. The Angry Birds Movie

Plasma: 14
Ermine: 17
Inviso: 22
Suprak: 26
Karo: 27
Evillord: 27
Red: 28
Johnbobb: 30
Mythiot: 30

Total: 221

Plasma: Enjoyed this more than I ever expected. The three core characters have solid chemistry, the humor hits at times, and the animation is smooth and vivid. Not a bad effort for adapting a mobile game into a feature-length story.

Ermine: I did not expect I'd be placing this movie this high! I fully expect this film to place in the bottom 5 and it probably deserves to go there but hey, there were actually a few enjoyable things in this film for me, at least compared to a few other films that I have below it.
The movie is an incredible SLOG to start and only really starts picking up once Red makes his new friends. Red and his friends have decent chemistry and are really what keeps this movie from being like bottom 5 for me as well. I dunno it's just a really inoffensive flick for the most part. Like, this isn't some shit like Minions are most Despicible Me movies where you want to rip your eyes out every second. There are a couple of funny moments, got a few chuckles. It could have been a hell of a lot worse, that's for sure.

Inviso: As of writing this write-up, Ive only watched six movies, and still, I feel very bad about ranking this as high as I have. The problem is that, as shameless of an advertisement/cash grab as this movie isat least it does feature a plot and structure that work like a movie should. Is it a GOOD story? Hell no. But you have a plot that has a beginning, middle, and an end, and characters that were at least meant to give a shit about, even if thats extremely misguided. That being saidits not great. Red is a fucking asshole the whole movie, yet he barely seems to grow or change, simply staying the same grumpy guy, only with the rest of the world growing to accept his grumpiness, so he feels less outcast as a result. But yeah, hes a complete jackass, but hes right about everything, so everyone has to go groveling to him to save the dayand then the back half of the movie turns into a big game of Angry Birds (Ive never actually played before, but I assume thats how it works). Its just really dumb and feels in the same vein as The Emoji Moviebut even thats too harsh, because this again followed logical plot progression.

Suprak: *no writeup submitted*

Karo: Yes, this is a feature length adaptation of the mobile phone app, because there is clearly a compelling story to be told about pissed off avian ammunition blowing shit up. Like, I can't imagine even people who love the game wanting to sit down and watch an hour and a half of story about these feathered freaks. It's an idiotic concept mitigated somewhat by a good cast who do their honest best to give characterization to characters who basically didn't have any previously.
So basically the story is an envoy of pig people land on bird island, and our protagonist immediately goes on a paranoid bigoted tirade against the newcomers... which turns out to be justified? What the fuck guys? Is this the message we want to be giving kids, 'people different from us are sinister and evil and will destroy our way of life... oh and they also want to eat our children'. That's got to be the QAnon stamp of approval right there.
Though the film is dubious throughout, it is the last third of the movie is when it becomes utter trash where all plot and logic is thrown out the window so we can smash birds into buildings for 30 minutes as the pig civilization is genocided off the face of the planet. Remember kids, violence solves everything and indiscriminate carpet bombing of civilians is a-ok so long as you are really really ticked off.
The production quality is on the midline of typical childrens' CGI movies, and it tries to make the best of the stupid hand it was dealt. But the messaging is just too deplorable for it to even be appropriate for the young audience that might enjoy the film, and its very existence makes me as angry as its feathered cast.

Evillord: I could've gone my whole life without watching the Angry Birds movie yet here we are. I mean this is one of the least adaptable licenses in pop culture, why would anyone make an angry birds movie? Oh yeah, money. Even the fact that they gave all the birds limbs, which is understandable but gets rid of an iconic aspect of their visual design (which is all they are, really), speaks to how it doesn't really make sense to try and turn such a simple, storyless game into a film. Still, there are two ways you can approach a challenge like that: use it as an excuse to go hog-wild with a creative idea and not care about following the license (like say, the Lego Movie), or just slap on a bunch of clichs and over-rely on "adult" jokes like having a character suggest "bird control" for a family with a lot of bird children. Or having one of the birds piss of a cliff for like a full minute. Of course this particular scene would've been gut-bustingly funny if it weren't for the fact that BIRDS DON'T EVEN HAVE A URINARY BLADDER, SONY, YOU FUCKING HACKS!!!

Red: An annoying bird with an anger problem teams up with a bunch of misfit birds to save their town of completely idiotic and ignorant flightless birds from a bunch of obviously evil pigs. No one in this movie has a brain. There is no redeeming characters here, the plot is atrocious and relies on believing every character is horrible. We can't decide on if the main character has an anger problem or if the whole town being morons has driven him insane. Best we could say is that the movie is partially saved by somewhat clever implementation of dumb mobile game mechanics into a terrible movie.

Johnbobb: hey that part where they just made loud random noises for like a straight three minutes that was super funny right

Mythiot: *no writeup submitted*