LogFAQs > #972318954

#2 - Artemis-2
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/6/1/AAJ38fAAEGS5.jpg
HUH?

Hey! No, I'm #1 dog! I'm supposed to be #1 dog! I don't wanna be #2 dog again... I'm always #2. Artemis-2, it's in my name. Big Bro is first dog, he's older dog. Now I'm #2. It's not fair.

I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about Big Bro. It's not like he's got a shiny badge like I do. I'm a Deputy Dog, first of my name, officer at Checkpoint Justice with my partner, Glitch! He's like my Patch, you know, except he's an alien, and he hops around bopping between places with his teleportation powers. I kept him in a glass for a little while - he couldn't escape from that! Eventually, after he got hungry and thirsty enough, he promised to be my friend. That's the best kind of friendship, because you know they won't leave you if you show them you can destroy them.

I have this bottle, and it lets me send all sorts of important messages to my Big Bro. We're really close, even though, in the beginning, I was really confused and attacked him. That wasn't my fault - I was cloned dog, and I was being manipulated by a big, naked dumb dumb named Brody. Now that Brody's dead, I'm my own dog! For a while I lived in the access shafts of Hardcore Station, but then Big Bro got me and he promised to be my Big Bro forever! And he forgive me for being a bad dog.

I'm not a bad dog anymore! In fact, I'm really helpful dog! When Big Bro came to visit me at Christmas, we teamed up to stop evil President Nixon from taking over Hardcore Station. I had a lot of fun - but Big Bro kept trying to upstage me, so I took all of his dice rolls. He could have my lower ones - they were just as good, really. Good enough for him. I wanted to be faster dog and stronger dog! Afterwards, Big Bro promised to come see me for the big drinking contest at Al's Diner. Al's fat and he kind of smells from working in the kitchen all day, but he doesn't smell as bad as Roz'etta.

Stinky! Stinky Roz'etta!

I worry about Darkseid. What happens when Roz'etta confronts him on behalf of Lashina? Can he even survive the smell? He'll be all like, 'DARKSEID IS... smelling something terrible!' and Roz'etta will go cry because that's what Roz'etta does. Cry, cry, big cry. She's such a baby. That's why she smells. Big baby wears stinky diapeys.

Someday, when I've cleaned up all of Hardcore Station and protected them from those dumbdumbs with the wings who keep trying to invade, I'll go visit Big Bro on Oa, and I'll get to see Riev, and Saoirse, and Xander... all my old friends. I hope Riev is ready to go for a run because no one has woken him up at 5:00 in the morning for a good jog. And he's not missing a leg, only an arm - so he has no excuse!

Hey, I'm out of space on this piece of paper. Someone tell Scarlet he's a big dumbdumb for not ranking me first! Stupid list. I'm #1 dog! Canary isn't even a dog - she's a canary. Canary's can't be #1! Bird rhymes with third! Third-place bird.

Hint: This charater has a girl's name.