LogFAQs > #969391808

Apologies for my recent lack of activity. Been going through shit and my dad's been in town so that's made things a little harder - I usually can't get started on stuff until 9 pm, so I just play Zestiria for an hour for that project, which is close to its conclusion.

The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Directed by: Mark Dindal
Written by: Chris Williams, Roger Allers, Matthew Jacobs, Mark Dindal, David Reynolds
Starring: David Spade, John Goodman, Eartha Kitt, Patrick Warburton
Previous status: Never seen

"Squeak squeakity squeak squeak"

This movie came out when I was reaching "that age." I was 12 y/o, sure, but I'd just been exposed to James Bond movies and that transformed my interests. This coincided with the end of the"Disney Renaissance - which this movie is considered "after" probably because of Dinosaur (I forgot that existed) preceding it. This was released as Disney was falling into a rut; AFAIK, only Lilo & Stitch during the eight-movie span after Fantasia 2000 is considered better? Maybe?

Going in, I know this movie adapts "The Emperor's New Clothes" into something goofy; we're talking llama instead of a nudist emperor. Clearly, with llamas and a name like Kuzco, this in Peru. The Disney silliness is at its best with its ridiculous opening - after the mopey rain bit - that feels like it's attempting to be "Prince Ali" meets "Be Our Guest." It's nowhere near as catchy as those, even though the animation is stunning. Despite the huge names on the soundtrack - Sting, Tom Jones, Eartha Kitt, and a young Rascal Flatts - the songs lack the same memorability as the Broadway-focused Renaissance era. This is because of the development hell this movie went through, causing Sting's penned songs to be dissociated from the project. The lack of the villain anthem was quite damaging.

Kuzco shows himself to be a dick by insulting several women chosen as potential brides for him. He terminates his advisor Yzma for no reason. He asks Pacha (who sounds exactly like Sulley, because that's the "John Goodman Disney voice" apparently) for assistance... only to unwittingly be told his village is going to be destroyed for Kuzco's summer resort. He's a judgmental prick, and I'm quickly awaiting his humbling. I am rooting for Yzma at this point, as Kuzco feels like he's the villain. Yzma and Kronk, her henchman, get this entrance like spy movie scientists. Ridiculous and humorous, particularly the part where there's a trap door lever for no reason.

Yzma's plan to murder Kuzco gets him turned into a llama, which is worse if you think about it: Kuzco has to live his life as a llama, on the outside looking in to how he used to live, ruing that he's a piece of shit. His reaction to being llamafied is pure schadenfreude, especially since Llama Kuzco proves he's still an ass. Okay, llamas and asses are different, but he's still an ass. The panthers nearly eating him for breakfast is foiled by Pacha imitating Tarzan for no reason, in a GREAT Disney cross-reference. Pacha questions his actions when Kuzco insists on building his stupid resort in place of Pacha's village, but Pacha handles it well by giving him an ultimatum. Yzma takes over the kingdom and nobody really feels sad about Kuzco's passing. I don't feel bad for him. Not at all. I do feel bad for Pacha taking a beating as a result of Kuzco being awful.

It's funny when Kronk talks to the squirrel, because that's cheeky and unexpected. It's not funny when Yzma is running from the locusts in the background, because that's been done a thousand times, another thousand if you count every bad guy in a mask on Scooby-Doo. It's funny when Llama Kuzco dresses as Pacha's wife. It's funny when Yzma shows up at the table next to Pacha, in the ironic sense. It's funny when the chef quits on Kronk of all people and Kronk just takes over, and the revolving door where Kronk is too daft to notice is great, particularly how they don't realize they're next to each other. It's not funny how Kuzco wants to go to his death, only to quickly overhear that Yzma poisoned him, as that's too convenient. I don't know if that was meant to be funny but Kuzco sucks, and he deserves the moping in the rain. He's a total Aaron who literally says "bUt It'S aLl AbOuT mE!!!!1!!" His reactions are funnier than anything that happens to him, really.

Having unexpected company, Mrs. Pacha and the kids clearly see through Yzma's bullshit. The Mrs. sees her husband in the window telling her that Yzma is his enemy, so the family springs a booby trap upon Yzma. This is amusing, but remind me why I'm supposed to enjoy her suffering... because Kuzco is her enemy? I don't follow. The intentional plot hole of Yzma returning to the palace first wasn't overly funny (a joke without a punchline), but boy did I like it, because I find myself to be unsympathetic to Kuzco. He's not a very complex anti-hero - he's someone abhorrent that I'm rooting to lose. The amount of payoff in this climax in the lab - how Kuzco knew about it is beyond me - is great. The lever, the lab coats, the Kronk angel and devil, the potions, the cliff-walking... this was great. I'm a fan of that payoff, as you guys know by now. I'm not a fan of some other things, namely Pacha going from 60 potions to 5 for no reason, the lack of urgency, or the repetition of Yzma taking the potion, it falling to a ledge, and then A MIRACLE OCCURS. The satire became a little too much, but I LOVED the trampoline, given how the Renaissance movies had numerous villains who fell to their deaths.

Kuzco develops a sense of humor, and makes amends for his prior misdeeds, acting as if he's a completely changed man. He shows this by wanting to build his Kuzcotopia elsewhere... apparently? I don't buy that he's changed, though he seems to be living a more humble life in his summers, in a way that shows like Undercover Boss want to make us believe changes people. It doesn't.

Reading up on the development hell, I note how this movie is in an identity crisis, much like Disney itself at the time. They wanted the 00s to "not be like the 90s" - forgetting IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT! The reason the Renaissance was so great was because there were these magical singalong songs with equally beautiful animations to accompany them, making for an engaging product infinitely rewatchable by elementary schoolers. This is not that. This is filled with the slapstick gags that were often relegated to one or two sequences in those superior Disney outings, but lacks the same soul. It's a simple movie that suffers from a lack of rewatchability; if you've seen the gags and know what happens, there's no reason to revisit.

For this reason - and how I found myself rooting against Kuzco - I can't say I LOVED this movie. There were gags I laughed at and the payoffs were enjoyable, but it's not overly memorable. The hugely downgraded soundtrack didn't serve this movie well, though Sting had the ending changed because Kuzco was originally going to just build Kuzcotopia on another hill. If that had stayed, I'd have hated it, because it would've justified my dislike of Kuzco. If you're rooting for the villain, the movie didn't do something right. In this case, it's that they made the supposed hero the least likable character. Pacha is fine and I feel for the guy getting caught up in this, but he kept trusting Kuzco for no reason. Yzma wanted to dispose of the jerk of an Emperor for the good of everyone, and I can't for the life of me understand why I was supposed to root for him over her. I'll give this one a 3 because it was still fun, but it's not as remarkable as other Disney ventures. Still glad I watched it, but it's "a funny little thing I watched once" instead of a cinematic marvel.

@Johnbobb @hylianknight3 you each get a new nomination!