I just experienced a major letdown. I met up with a lady from Hinge last week and she was truly spectacular. Just bright and full of positive energy, and when we were out walking she sidled right up against me. We talked about a million things, she complimented my looks, my fashion, offered advice, we shared about ourselves, etc. I even really liked her daughter.
I really wanted to celebrate my birthday this year, but I had to postpone due to illness. The project was beset with low participation and scheduling issues from the outset, and I decided to cancel it Tuesday. But Hinge lady insisted I shouldn't, so I invited her and retooled the event and finally felt excited about it: her enthusiasm is infectious. She was excited.
Then yesterday she texts me saying she can't go, because her daughter has some skating thing that's more important than she thought and also she's allergic to cats and just can't risk it because she might have to leave at a drop of a hat and that was just a crushing blow. I canceled the event and have been depressed ever since. We generally text every day, but I basically said nothing to her yesterday aside from how disappointed I was. She's now super apologetic.
Part of the reason I'm down is this feels like a potentially really good, healthy, positive relationship, but this incident has forced me to consider how much her having a mast cell disorder and not having a car limits the possibilities. What I'm left with is that I have another friend who lives 15 minutes away, except I must go to her and we can't, like, go to a restaurant (she has severe digestive issues from her mast cell and also it could be exacerbated if she got sick, especially if it was, say, a severe infection like COVID) or anything like that. I can't have her over because of the cat (and also because my parents would be around and that cramps your style way more than an independent 11 year old).
And my last memory of my cute redheaded (former) coworker is her absent-mindedly fiddling with product, staring off into space, utterly depressed. I never even got to say goodbye. Which hurts all the more, because a few days earlier, she had been in good spirits and said she wanted to stay in touch.
Parents are going to prioritize their kids, it's going to happen, I wouldn't write her off just yet.
But maybe you are seeking out problems somehow. Maybe find someone without a kid and without weird restrictions like not being able to eat at restaurants.
You sound like your redhead died, maybe just DM her on social media?