LogFAQs > #954737518

189. Sufjan Stevens Should Have Known Better (2015)
from the album Carrie & Lowell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJJT00wqlOo

Key lyrics:
When I was three, three, maybe four
She left us at that video store

Few albums capture the grieving process like Carrie & Lowell, which finds Sufjan Stevens coping with the death of his estranged, schizophrenic mother. Should Have Known Better is the second track, serving as a calm before a messy emotional storm. This is the denial track, not of her death but the idea her death should have any power over him after her abandonment. A line about being left behind at a video store hits particularly hard when this is among someones defining childhood memories, its easy to understand their emotional distance. But like any abandoned child, Sufjan wishes for those wounds to be healed. Carries death put an end to those fantasies.

The song shifts gears halfway through, bringing in a keyboard and percussive patter as Stevens shifts his attention to the positives which remains in his life. The death of his mother is contrasted with the birth of a niece, someone who will hopefully be a bigger part of his life. Even as the album continues into the darkest places, Should Have Known Better serves as a beacon of hope, a reminder that better things exist on the other side of his grief. Alone, it is a disarmingly bittersweet reflection.

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My top 100 games (with write-ups): https://foolfantastic.com/top-100-video-games-project/