LogFAQs > #949968433

Lokarin posted...

2 Thesalonians 2 11 I shall send them a powerful delusion so they will believe the lie

...

It's a good one because you can use it for everything... it's the Biblical version of "nuh-uh"

Why would God do that to me?

Because I have a lot of different issues regarding who or what to trust/believe

Just last night, a "spoken friend"

Oh wait, they literally said "I'm NOT your friend".

Just last night a voice of mine told ME to get out of THEIR head. Ridiculous, right?

And there are times I consider whether or not my thoughts are actually "singular" (confined to just myself in the face of internal evidence pointing towards otherwise) or private, and I'd got the instantaneous response "Nope." which caused me to proceed forward by having a philosophical thought trip inside my head with these "individuals". They make me feel bad at times. Actually, that's what happens every episode. Once it seems like this semi-robotic curse of exchange of thought patterns has been activated (Because they have certain tendencies to repeat phrases like "Genius!", different voices, and different personalities... and really only go as far with me as I can stand to go with them), it's like "Oh great, I forgot. Nothing about my life is private and you guys have been with me the entire time and you always will be and what the fuck is actually real anymore."

I mean, I have a virtual appointment with a health practicioner tomorrow, (thanks mom since I didn't actually sign up for this and am not sure) but none of this is anything I actually want to bring up because the phenomena is very specific and personal and I don't exactly want to even "treat it", unless they want to give me some kind of very effective mood stabilizer (that would actually be the aim in the first place, the being prone to schizophrenic type symptoms is something I've gotten used to at this point, no matter how uncomfortable it can end up getting) I actually know all the symptoms and triggers and it's more of a reflection of my internal state of well being type of thing... if active / paid attention to.

What do?

("Wow, this is serious" - them just now, and another one of those common

But actually forget any more detail, though, because the more energy I invest in describing or talking about it, is literally one of the triggers that advances the phenomena, along with having been awake for longer than my brain can handle. It's almost like there is a threshold of exhaustion that once my brain reaches, there is a barrier of separation that has been dissolved and my thoughts are, well, nevermind, cause it almost sounds like they're at the point where they're saying "You're horrible."

Right, I'm horrible, but they aren't even physically in front of me and interfere with my abilities to function -_-

no, i'm not on cocaine or meth. or whatever else. The negatives of this type of phenomena outweigh the positives.

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Official President of the World of the United States of America of PotD
(on golf break)