Chapter 2: Deadly Life Reactions And HOT TAKES And Oh I think I Know Who Did It
Why Mahiruwhy? me too Hajime, me too
There is a weird smiley face mask on the floor next to Mahiru. Currently going with the theory that she was killed by wayward trick or treaters.
Hey Hajime? Before thiswe were having a great time right? Good input, Kazuichi. Hey Hajime remember boobs those were great right?
Chiaki stops all the other dorks from trampling all over the very important footprints in the sand evidence. Good job, master detective Chiaki. Please dont die or I dont know who is going to stop Akane from eating all the evidence.
Monokuma has a surprisingly hard time convincing the dumber ones here that Mahiru was murdered. I-its notlike, an a-accident or something? Kazuichi sputters. In his defense though accidentally bludgeoning yourself with a baseball bat and leaving a suspicious mask nearby is the third leading cause of death in the anime world, behind sexy pratfalls and robot attacks.
Monokuma is also very clear that an accident is still a murder. Im going to take this to the Danganronpa appellate court because that is some bullshit, man. Fingers crossed this murder wasnt some sort of super convoluted accident that gets a cool character punished because that would be the lamest outcome possible.
When Kazuihi cries his eyes look a little like fried eggs and its creeping me out.
Cause of death is a single blow to the head with a blunt object. A single blow? No, no way. I need a second forensic analyst in here because that is just not right. It looks like shes covered in an entire paint can of pink paint. You dont get that much blood from one blow! Hell, I dont think theres that much blood in her head in total. My new current theory is she was run over by an EMT carrying blood bags. Its the only way this much blood makes sense.
Hajime points out that him and Kazuichi were arriving at the beach house when the murder occurred and mopes about the fact that if they had just went to the beach house they couldve saved her. I TRIED BUT KAZUICHI STOPPED ME. On the plus side I guess this clears Kazuichi completely.
Kazuichi spends the investigation complaining about the lack of variety of beverages in the fridge. Man, I totally understand. Dont you hate it when one of your friends get murdered and theres no Juicy Juice in the fridge? What am I supposed to do drink water like some sort of poor person? Now I wish I was the dead one.
Peko: Chiaki seems peeved about this whole killing thing. Hajime: Yeah well most people would be killing is unforgiveable. Peko: Oh uh yeah I sure hate killing too, yep, no one hates killing more than me *cough cough* Hey guys what if the killer was like really cute though then would we lover her OR HIM again? Ok so Peko is the murderer, got it.
We find the murder weapon which was conveniently left on the scene and covered in blood, and Chiaki points out how it is the same as the one in Twilight Murder Side Story Whatever Its Called. Apparently she got the good ending somehow. She truly is the Ultimate Gamer guys.
Im confused why Girl E keeps flashing back as a stock photo of a girl slumped over against the wall. Like, why is this the one instance in the game where they needed to use a real body. I know the game is animated but I want to include in the budget a young female actress that can dress up in a school girls uniform and pretend to be dead. Uhjust because it is hard to draw, not because its my secret fetish.
Apparently the only drinks left are either sweetened or colored. Well, we solved the case of childhood obesity.
There are a bunch of empty water bottles in the trash. Either the killer is suffering from rabies and has an unquenchable thirst or they washed themselves off in here for some reason. Whichoh wait, Peko was wet when we saw her. She really is the killer, huh?
Sonia sees the mask and points out its something something dont care stopped listening from an anime. Apparently 90% of people in her country watch that anime. Didnt know her country was located in a suburban teenagers bedroom.
Sonia rushes out of the beach house to do some research, where Im assuming that research here is a euphemism for making my totally sweet cosplay why didnt I think of this before. With Sonia gone and Mikan gone, that just leaves Chiaki as the sole person I trust to do anything not dumb. THANKS SONIA YOU JERK.
I slapped both my hands onto my cheeks, and faced Mahirus body one more time. Those better damn well be your face cheeks, Hajime.
We find an enormous gummy candy in the closet. The kind that Hiyoko likes to eat, which clearly exonerates her entirely. There is a 0% chance the game makes the killer the person who leaves obvious evidence at the scene and is the only one seen running away from the murder location just after the murder happens. The trial would be like two minutes. Uh we saw you leave and you dropped this. Damn, nice job guys I didnt think this through
The shower room is out of order, which probably explains why the killer had to use all the water bottles to clean off. Sorry, killer, youre going to be caught because Monokuma forgot to pay his utilities bill.
I find Akane alone in the bathroom. DEAR PENTHOUSE.
She helps me investigate the little window by climbing on my shoulders and telling me her stepmoms lovers like to get drunk and give her massages. DEAR PENTHOUSE, IGNORE MY EARLIER LETTER IM AFRAID IT MIGHT BE EVIDENCE IN AN UPCOMING COURT CASE.
Akane proves you can open the window easily, so the killer couldve (and absolutely did considering there is a five minute scene dedicated to it) made their escape through here. The point is made that it is really, really high up so obvious that means the killer had to be.NBA LEGEND DETLEF SCHREMP. Curse you, NBA legend Detlef Schremp. I shouldve known our paths would cross again.
Akane posits two people couldve worked together to get one out of the window. Or maybe one really talented person that is like a ninja. Hmmmwho in the group is sort of like a ninja (PEKO PEKO THE MURDERER IS PEKO).
Hajime forces Chiaki to come with him to go play the game again so he can get the good ending. Shes like a real life embodiment of GameFAQs.
I never expected that person to be waiting there. Mahiru? Byakuya? NBA legend Detlef Schremp? Oh, no its just Nagito. Thats not the most unexpected thing that couldve been there tbqh.
Apparently Monomi untied Nagito because she wanted everyone to get along and be friends. Monomi, you giant, multicolored moron. If she had a cage of mice and a cage of cats, shed open them both hoping theyd start a friendship parade and be surprised when she can back and all the mice were mysteriously missing.
Nagito does weird things for a while and we shoo him away with a broom so we can play some vidya games.
Apparently the secret ending is unlocked by pressing down five times on the title screen, a clue Chiaki deciphered from the fact the game says down five after you beat it the first time. You know, perhaps I was the real idiot all along.
Now we get to the REAL TRUTH edition of the game that opens up with a long scrolling summary telling me we can now solve the real mystery. Oh boy, I cant wait.
---
Moops? "I thought you were making up diseases? That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion."